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Subject: Septagon revival: Skits
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  • Elder Legendary Member

Well. I figure I might aswell try and put the FUN back into Septagon.... Septafungon or something.

This may get moved to the flood or somewhere... But I really hope it doesnt. This thread is about the community coming together. Heck, from what I've been hearing this forum needs some action of that kind. Yes, it's extremely silly. But I dont think that should matter!

This thread you can post skits in. The rules? The skits characters must be people from the COMMUNITY (Try not to be too mean to them in your skit, this is all in good fun) and it has to be a little bit silly. Its not like a fan fic. Its comedy.


(BTW... Its half past 1 in the morning here. Go easy on me. =))

The Septagonians: Revival.
So there they sat, basking in the glorious memories of the old soffish chat. Newnab, Motel, GTDM and a few others.
Nab: Y'know what would be cool?
Motel: If goats had udders on their foreheads?
Nab: HELL YEAH!... but I mean something else. If we could revive the Septagon.
GTDM: Prophecy and Bungie lore dictate that we must all complete a dangerous task in order to be able to revive the Septagon...
Nab: Why?
The great pretender: Because else this skit would be really boring and have no room for jokes.
Nab: I see.... How come you two know so much about this anyway?
Motel: Yeah.. I mean, if you're going to know stuff.. Why not know it about Goats?
Nab:.... WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND GOATS?
TGP: I have to admit... Goats can be quite majestic.. But, back on topic. I know so much because Im a moderator. And I TOLD GTDM earlier while he was eating.... An Apple
Nab: .... Wow........
GTDM: Amazing that the moderators instantly know that much huh?
Nab: No. I just like apples.
TGP: Are you going to complete the dangerous tasks or not?
Nab: Sure. They can't be THAT dangerous.
*cut to nab on a tightrop above a volcano*
Nab: Craptastic. *wobbles* How're you getting on with your task, GTDM?
GTDM: I cant do it!!! Its too hard!!! *sobs* I could drown! You got the easy task. Why do I have to jump into a 5 foot deep pool?
Nab: Could be worse. You HAVE got waterwings at least
GTDM: These don't help at ALL!

Meanwhile...
TGP: You first.
Motel: No, YOU first. Im reading Goats fortnightly. Its a brilliant issue.
TGP: Ooh. If we survive these tasks, can I borrow it?
Motel: PFF! Can you afford it?..
TGP:.... No.. =(
Motel: Just get on with the task. How hard can it BE to comb your hair!?
TGP: Hey man.. You never know WHATS in there...
Motel: True.
TGP: Could even be a goat.
Motel: You think a goat would hang out in a place like that?
TGP: Whats YOUR task anyway?
Motel: To buy christmas presents...
TGP: That sounds easy..
Motel: ...For everyone who wants an Xbox 360 for christmas..
TGP: HOT DAMN! These trials are TOO hard! Is the Septagon even worth it?
Motel: YEAH! Hey Newnab! We give up!
GTDM: Me too. *runs away crying*
*Newnab dangling by his little finger on the tightrope as the Volcano starts to rumble and sighs*
Nab: Fine.. Just get me down and we'll go home.
*Cricket noise*
Nab: ... Guys?... Guys!? Oh.... Blammedy blammedy blam blam Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarghm!
*tumbles off into the darkness*

The Next day...

Motel: Did you know, a goats top speed is 50mph?
Nab, in full body bandages: You dont say. *sighs*
TGP: Cheer up Nab
GTDM: Yeah, we did our best!
Nab: I know you did... But I still wish we could revive the Septagon!

At that moment, a goat kicked down the door and spoke

Goat: Fear not, humans!

Motel: Is that the best plot twist you could come up with? That was obvious.
Nab: Dude. Your spoiling the moment. Grr. Fine.

At that moment, a PURPLE goat kicked down the door and spoke

PURPLE goat: Fear not, simple puny humans!

Motel: Meh. Better.
Nab: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?

At that moment, a PURPLE GOAT COMMANDED BY A HORDE OF SCREAMING MEERKATS kicked down the door and spoke!

Goat and meerkats in unison: Bow before us for we have saved the day!

Motel: Classy.
Nab: Thanks! =)
Meerkat: *Ahem* We have saved the day. We have completed your dangerous trials. The Septagon will return to its former glory. If its the last thing we do!
Nab: Wow. Goats truly are amazing. but the story doesnt end here. Oh no.
TGP: With just some decent posts every day, you TOO can help us and the purple goat restore the septagon to its former glory. No more kids wanting to become mods or whatever. Quality discussion! The good old fashioned Bungie way!

*All the cast give a toothy grin, and Nabs teeth fall out.*

Nab: Feh Ehnd!

  • 12.18.2005 5:53 PM PDT
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Wow... are you bored im bored that post made me bored to long to read lol. But nice very ammusing.

  • 12.18.2005 6:04 PM PDT
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yay.
in part 2 we need to go into the characters backstories.
(for anybody who didnt know, i am GTDM.)

  • 12.18.2005 6:04 PM PDT

-Quaere verum.

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Chairleg Productions presents: 'Console Wars' and 'Games as Art?' (also on Halo Waypoint).

......and that's why we don't let you out very oftern ;)

You know, this sounds just like the sort of IRC conversation one would have...eerie no?

If i've learnt one thing from this it's to never annoy a purple goat commanded by a hoarde of screming meerkats.

  • 12.18.2005 6:05 PM PDT
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My goodness.

  • 12.18.2005 7:27 PM PDT

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial. And it is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves the flag, whose coffin is draped in the flag that allows the protester to burn the flag.Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC

Ok I got one.

Shiska walks in to a bar

TGP asks why the long face?


  • 12.18.2005 7:30 PM PDT
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I remember some guy in The Flood made something like this, I think it was called a 'forum-fic.' Anyway, it casted the moderators as actual people (I mean their avatars e.g. TGP was an actual Trow), and the forum was a city, with the threads as buildings... Anyway, you'll have to dig around there sometime and read them.

  • 12.18.2005 8:11 PM PDT
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Oh my goodness is this the Newnab? Wow, long time no see (again). Though you probably don't know me...

[Edited on 12/18/2005]

  • 12.18.2005 8:15 PM PDT
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Only the paranoid will survive!

Newnab :P

That was genius. Have you ever considered Broadway?

  • 12.18.2005 8:18 PM PDT

yoo•zel- ('yoo-zhul): slang: vb.

Officium quod Fidelitas.

HOLY CRAP! Is that the newnab I once knew?

  • 12.18.2005 8:41 PM PDT
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  • Exalted Mythic Member
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"Whatever exists, whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent. These anonymous creatures may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest crumb can devour us. Any smallest thing beneath yon rock out of men's knowing. Only nature can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the earth."

Newnab...It's new, but familiar...Like Coke with lemon...

(Score one for a Simpsons allusion.)

Oh, right, on-topic stuff...


Yeeeaaahhh...Uhhh...I kinda liked the story, but if you could do better than a purple goat commanded by Meerkats...Yeaahh, that'd be great. Thanks.

(Score another one for a slight Family Guy allusion. Another one for it being a new episode.)

  • 12.18.2005 9:01 PM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

Yeah it wasnt one of my best skits ever. It was two in the morning over here when I finished writing it. =P

I'll do some more later hopefully, but feel free to add your own!

And yes, Stalking Puma. I DO remember you. =)

  • 12.19.2005 3:29 AM PDT

I'm not that active, but never dead.

*Gives newnab a cookie*


That was amazing. I really have to applaud you. If we can get this on fire, it might just improve the forums. It'll at least improve the Septegon.

[Edited on 12/19/2005]

  • 12.19.2005 3:38 AM PDT
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Only the paranoid will survive!

Posted by: AlexZander
*Gives newnab a cookie*


That was amazing. I really have to applaud you. If we can get this on fire, it might just improve the forums. It'll at least improve the Septegon.


At the very least, it has improved my morning!

I can see it now- people posting and at the ending including "For the meerkats!" and "For the goats!". Then the meerkat and goats cults try to impose their views on eachother and a civi...

I should probably just stop :P
Great skit though! I'm not creative enough to write like that.

  • 12.19.2005 3:59 AM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

Well Im going to keep posting here, I sure hope others will. I know a lot of us all have a similar insane sense of humour. And a few of you can thread together words into sentances. ; ) So there's no reason not to. =)

Heres another rubbish one.
The Invasion
As christmas time neared, all the bungie fans had gathered, as was tradition, to argue about which disney movie was better.
Nab: It's gotta be Aladdin. I mean. Aladdin was just a tramp with a monkey. Then he gets magical powers.
Motel: Do any of them have goats in them?
Everyone else in unison: NO!
Motel: Are you sure? Not even the jungle book?
Nab: Why would their be goats in the jungle?
Motel: Why not?
AlexZander: He has a point. WHY not?

But their annual discussion was soon interupted.

Small child: Oi! We wanna come in there! AND we wanna be mods! AND we want it now! AND we want... What else do we want?
Psyched: To go away?
Small child: YEH! AND we want to go away!....... Wait,. You tricked us! Thats it. This. Means. War.
Slightly smaller child: Muhahaha. I'll get the flamethrower.

TGP: Oh my GOD! What are we going to do!
Nab: Relax! Im sure those purple goats and screaming meerkats will save us again.
Coke: Uhh... *points to dead purple goat and meerkats all over the floor*

*Newnab gasps*
Nab: PRINGLES!!! Noooooooooooooooooo! *falls by the goats side, sobbing sadly.* Who did this to you!? They. Must. Pay.
Motel: Erm. Nab.. YOU did it.. Remember? We told you to watch where you swang that Xbox 360 PSU...
Nab: Oh. Then I guess, I'll pay. *throws a dollar down on the corpse*
TGP: Well. I say we hide in the mall, cos those small children mean business!
AlexZander: There's a mall?
Coke: Legend has it that Yoozel created it. and that most of the shops inside sell alchohol. Go figure!
Nab: Sounds like a plan. A good old fashioned proven by trial plan. Running and hiding. I like it.

Later that day.
Coke: Dum dum dum, de dum dum dum dum dum de dum!
Psyched: What the hell are you doing?
Coke: Humming the theme from gladiator to get us pumped for battle!!!!
Psyched: What battle?
TGP: The big battle to end all battles... Nab will use the power of his old hcat room Nab's greatnes, I will unleash forum ninjas, everyone else will throw alchohol, except Coke here who just hums tunes to get us going. It has taken us entire MINUTES of preparation, and it shall not go to waste!
Psyched: Who are you fighting?
AlexZander: The heretics! Those who seek to pollute the Septagon!

Psyched:... You mean all those kids outside? Don't worry about it. I just killed them all.
Nab: WHAT!? How did you do that!?
Psyched: The real question is.. How didnt I do it?
Nab: By running them over with a blimp?
Psyched: Nope.
TGP: You ran them over with a blimp?
Psyched: Some of em, yup.
Nab: Well. Thats that settled then.
Coke: De dum dee dum dum dum de de de, the eeeeeeennnnnd!

  • 12.19.2005 4:04 AM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

By the way, a little thing about skits:

As far as I know, Bestmasterchief was the first person to have skits on the Seventh column, in his chapter, Sniper Gods. It intruiged me and I became a regular character in his. I started to write my own and eventually we both ended up writing something called halo survivor. In Halo survivor it was all our characters in the Halo universe. With the New Hawtness thsi was mostly lost. But I saved series 1 of my Halo survivor! Series 2 is lost but heres series 1

http://www.freewebs.com/carnagezone/newnabshalosurvivor.htm

Enjoy. =)

  • 12.19.2005 4:38 AM PDT
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T3H NevvNab has returned! And he has brought new skits!

*faints

  • 12.19.2005 6:33 AM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

Hehe. Has that made your christmas, JAF? =)

  • 12.19.2005 6:34 AM PDT
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Posted by: Newnab
Hehe. Has that made your christmas, JAF? =)

Yes it did. And i still have nightmares of your other skits.

  • 12.19.2005 6:42 AM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

The nightmare before christmas? =D

  • 12.19.2005 6:46 AM PDT
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Who is/was Newnab?

[Edited on 12/19/2005]

  • 12.19.2005 1:00 PM PDT

-Quaere verum.

Got a report? Use the report tool or send a pm.
Chairleg Productions presents: 'Console Wars' and 'Games as Art?' (also on Halo Waypoint).

Newnab cannot be refered to as "is" or "was", but "what". What is Newnab? A good question. He is your lord and master, a free ranger. He does not look for you, you look for him. Do you believe in Newnab the Great and Almighty?

Posted by: IrishGrimReaper
Who is/was Newnab?


[Edited on 12/19/2005]

  • 12.19.2005 1:22 PM PDT
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Posted by: IrishGrimReaper
Who is/was Newnab?


One cannot tell what Newnab is. You must see it for yourself. Simply put, he's a big jerk that used to hang around B.net alot :)

  • 12.19.2005 3:17 PM PDT
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  • Elder Legendary Member

.. I think I prefered GP's description!

Hey, JAF.. Come by MOAP chat sometime. Im in there now and have been most of the day! We remade Nabs Greatnes on the server! ;)

  • 12.19.2005 3:20 PM PDT
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  • Exalted Mythic Member
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"Whatever exists, whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent. These anonymous creatures may seem little or nothing in the world. Yet the smallest crumb can devour us. Any smallest thing beneath yon rock out of men's knowing. Only nature can enslave man and only when the existence of each last entity is routed out and made to stand naked before him will he be properly suzerain of the earth."

Posted by: Gods Prophet
Newnab cannot be refered to as "is" or "was", but "what". What is Newnab? A good question. He is your lord and master, a free ranger. He does not look for you, you look for him. Do you believe in Newnab the Great and Almighty?

Posted by: IrishGrimReaper
Who is/was Newnab?


Does this mean that if I refuse to believe in him, he doesn't exist?

I wouldn't go so far as to say "Great and Almighty." I think "Creative and Hilarious" suits him better.

  • 12.19.2005 3:50 PM PDT

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