- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Never, Ever, Ever, Leave you Clubhouse Unlocked: A Short, Cautionary Tale
A large, clean, wooden clubhouse setting. Some ruffians named Smealian, lellowranger, and Halifax are being very lazy and lounging about on various oddly-shaped objects that pretentious art students believe are “breathtaking.”
Halifax: This latest literary work is a NAPPIE Winner already. Would you all like to come to the reception? I hear there will be free signatures!
lellowranger: Count this cat in.
Smealian: I’m down. When and where is this shindig at?
Halifax: Tonight, in The Membership Denied Group. It’s free entry tonight, and tonight alone.
Smealian: Sweet. I’m always wondered what things are like in there.
Halifaz Well tonight you shall learn the mysteries.
With nothing to talk about, a short, and very awkward silence sets in.
lellowranger: You guys hear the one about Yoozel?
Halifax: Which one?
Smealian: I heard the one about how he was a break dancer….
lellowranger: Yeah, me too, but this one is much better. See, there was this guy, wait, maybe is was an elf. Let’s just say it was a guy. And the guy says “What is that thing?”
Smealian: Wait, what thing?
lellowranger: I think it’s a credenza, or some sort of shelf. I forget. I don’t think it matters.
Halifax: For simplicity, let’s say it was a large shelf.
lellowranger:[/b ]Right, whatever. So, the guy says “What is that?” And Yoozel is like “I am here for now!”
[b]Halifax: What does that “for now” mean? Is he going to leave?
lellowranger: Apparently, he leaves later, after the joke is over and no one cares anymore.
Smealian:[/b ]Ah
[b]lellowranger: So, seeing that Yoozel is there, the guy is like, “Look at thing thing!” And Yoozel is like “what fo?” so the guy
Halifax: The real Yoozel would never say “what fo?” The real Yoozel uses correct punctuation and real words.
lellowranger: This one time, I think he was drunk or something, he said “lookit”
Halifax: You lie.
Smealian: So what happened to the guy?
lellowranger: I think he leaves with Yoozel after the joke ends, but for now, he is pointing with all his might to “that thing” And Yoozel is like “It’s a beige monkey of some sort wearing a tutu and riding a motorcycle in space eating….things…..and(gasp)……dancing ……while(gasp)…exploding[(gasp)
Suddenly, a svelte, young Douglas Brown gracefully strides in. He is wearing an awesome suit with a classy top hat. He smacks lellowranger right in the face. lellowranger falls over
Douglas Brown: There’s a fine line between funny and redundancy, buddy, and you just crossed it.
lellowranger looks up at Douglas Brown with tears beginning to form in his eyes. Then Douglas Brown simply walked out, as gracefully as he walked in
Halifax: Which one of you jerks left the flippin’ door unlocked?!
FIN