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  • Subject: [Novel]Halo: Revelations ~Chapter 1 is up!~
Subject: [Novel]Halo: Revelations ~Chapter 1 is up!~

Hey gallery, just wanted to show you guys (and gals) the story I've been working on, so here it is! BTW, I'm thinking it'll be a series of short stories that eventually intertwine, so bear with me as it heats up.

Prologue


Chief Petty Officer Mike Franks was used to being alone. This time it was different. Being a Chief on a UNSC Prowler was one type of loneliness, but this, this was another story. At least on a Prowler he had some interaction with others of like-mindedness, but here, in some prison on an alien ship, he was more alone than he had ever been before.

*****

Lance Corporal Jim "Rogue" Henderson, of the 405th ODST, was young, and that was apparently obvious to his CO, Lieutenant Arnett. Arnett had scolded Henderson many times for his inherent lack of respect towards superior officers. And so, here they were, in his office again, this time Henderson holding tissue over his bleeding nose. "What happened this time Corporal?" Arnett calmly asked.


"Well, sir, Sergeant Ramirez insulted my mother, sir." Henderson nervously replied.

"Corporal, I'm going to tell this to you straight son, if you clean up your act and put a lid on that temper of yours, you could make Sergeant in a heartbeat. But at the rate you're going, that's never going to happen. I'll make you a deal this time though, three days in the brig, and one month without pay, and this won't go on your record. Deal?"

Three days later, Henderson reappeared in Arnett's office, but this time, without a single MP escort. Arnett was pleased that he hadn't done something stupid in the brig. "Sir, if I'm going to clean up my act, I'm going to need your help." Henderson stated.

Arnett leaned back in his leather armchair and replied, "Son, we've got a lot of work to do."

******

Franks awoke to the sound of a door opening, and a large, muscular figure in bulky armor appeared. It motioned for his restraints to be released. How strange. Franks thought. A small data pad appeared from somewhere in the Alien's armor, and the Elite spoke, "What is your mission?" appeared on the data pad, but to Franks it sounded like gibberish. "I don't understand! Who are you? Why am I here?" shouted Franks. The Elite motioned towards the data pad, and spoke again, "What is your name?" appeared on the data pad as Franks spoke again, "My name is Franks, Chief Petty Officer Mike Franks, serial number 12981337, of the UNSC Red October."


HA! Finally! I had too many enter's between the last and second-to-last paragraphs

[Edited on 03.03.2011 7:33 PM PST]

  • 02.25.2011 9:51 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel]Halo: Revelations

try this

  • 02.25.2011 10:27 PM PDT

Still didn't work...


EDIT: Nevermind! It's up!
Posted by: xgeua
try this


[Edited on 02.26.2011 8:03 AM PST]

  • 02.26.2011 7:47 AM PDT

About me: I am a vicious wolf of a man.

But really am sweet at heart. =)

You should change the title. There is a collection of very good fan fics out there under the name of Halo:Revolutions.

  • 02.26.2011 11:03 AM PDT


Posted by: Gottalovec4
You should change the title. There is a collection of very good fan fics out there under the name of Halo:Revolutions.


Hmmm, got any ideas?


Mine's called Halo: Revelations btw, not revolutions

[Edited on 02.26.2011 12:29 PM PST]

  • 02.26.2011 12:26 PM PDT

Games I like:,
Half-Minute Hero
MBU
Portal
Halo 3 is the best Halo ever
Maps I like: Turf, Avalanche, Pylon, Sandbox, Breakpoint and many more.

Your prolouge isnt a prolouge, its two sentences. Expect wolverfrog or ajw to come in here and tell you that. Other than that, good story!

  • 02.26.2011 3:10 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel]Halo: Revelations ~Chapter 1 is up!~

Alright guys, here's the rest of Chapter One

Chapter 1

As he drifted off, Franks noticed motion through half closed eyes. The pain he was suffering was unbearable, but his curiosity had the better of him. The shape, a person, he realized appeared to have a large hump on his back, almost a pyramid. Then he realized what it was, a Grunt! It had a sponge soaked in water, and a small tray of food, and Franks looked at the food with ravenous eyes. The Grunt realized this, and began feeding Franks spoonfuls of a watery, tasteless soup, but to him, it was gourmet. He then noticed something in the small alien's hand, a data pad like the one the Elite had used to ask him questions, but this one wasn't being used to translate, it was a medical scanner, and the Grunt began scanning Franks.

*********

Spartan Blue team was deploying to the Arctic Circle to stop a Covenant force drilling under the ice. Three Pelicans full of Marines, and one archaic Vulture gunship was all the UNSC could spare for Blue. Fred was holding a small, conical device with an LCD screen on it. It was a low-yield thermonuclear bomb, their contingency plan, and about as deadly as a paperweight at the moment. Blue Team did not have the authority to activate a nuclear device on an Inner Colony, so it had to be remotely operated from some faceless officer in space somewhere.

Their Pelican pilot warned them of incoming contacts, and the Spartans braced themselves. Will found an old 40mm M319 grenade launcher in a storage compartment with 11 HE and 5 EMP grenades. Fred brought his M19 SAM launcher up to bear and attempted to lock on to a target, while Linda carefully placed four 14.5x114mm AP rounds into her SR99 and sighted down. Green lights winked on Fred's HUD, and he gave the order, "FIRE!" Linda's target went down in a flaming pinwheel as its plasma fuel source ruptured. Fred's dodged the first SAM and barrel-rolled into it's companion, bringing both down.
"You stole my kill!" shouted Will.
"Didn't call it, so it was fair game, so no, I didn't 'steal' your kill, and cut the chatter, we've got a mission." Fred coolly replied.
"Seriously guys? It's just a kill, there'll be plenty more for both of you on the ground." Linda added.

******
Henderson was on the straight and narrow, Arnett noted. His squad leader had approached Arnett with nothing but praise for the young ODST, and asked how he had worked that miracle.
"It wasn't me, he wanted to start over, and I gave him the chance. He took it." Arnett answered with a hint of arrogance.
"No, seriously, how did you do it, sir?" Ramirez insisted.
"Really, I just gave him the chance, and he took it, and look at him now, good posture, determination, all the makings of a good leader."
"Hmmm, I'm gonna keep my eye on him just in case sir, with your permission of course?"
"Of course sergeant, run the team through the killing house tonight"
"Yes sir, live ammunition?"
"Of course not sergeant, it's their first time running it, we don't want any accidents this time."
"I'll go prep them now sir." Ramirez added as he walked out the flimsy door.

*****

. This is hell thought Henderson as he shot simulated targets. Woken up at 2 o'clock in the morning to run through this dark, smoke-filled, evilly hot house in full armor, while carrying fifty pounds of lead in his rucksack. And all this while getting shot at with simulated bullets, while not fatal, these bullets would knock him off his feet, and worst of all, wound his pride. Nothing compared to true combat, the Killing House still sorted the men from the boys, and Henderson was determined to prove his manhood to his squad. "Breaching, breaching!" shouted Sergeant Ramirez, and the squad each swept their own field of fire, while simultaneously securing hostages and avoiding booby traps.
Being an ODST demanded extreme discipline, courage, and selflessness. Without these traits, one could give up any false dreams about becoming the elite of the elite armed force. ODST were the 21st century's US Navy SEALS evolved to the limit of human endurance, and feared by even the most bloodthirsty Covenant forces, Elites. One squad, Fire Team Charlie out of Reach had managed to hold off a Covenant Spec-ops Brigade for over three days, the equivalent of ancient Spartans at Thermopylae holding off the Persian Army with three hundred men, but it was twelve ODST, not three hundred Spartans against heavy armor, air support, and eventually, orbital support from a CCS-Class Battlecruiser.

Those twelve ODST had sacrificed themselves to protect the escape of over three thousand civilians and had each received the Colonial Cross post-humously, and after the war, a ceremony attended by the entire Brass of the Navy and Marines to honor twelve of the most courageous men in living history. Countless other ODST had given their lives for humanity, but few would be honored in the same way as Charlie Team.

"Damn, Charlie went out swingin, that's for sure. How many Covie KIA did you say?" Private Mills asked.
"1000, can you believe that? Twelve of us for a thousand of them?" Sergeant Ramirez answered.
"I've got a feeling, by the time this is over, we're all gonna wish we had Charlie with us." Henderson added.

Fin, Chapter One

[Edited on 03.03.2011 7:40 PM PST]

  • 02.26.2011 7:27 PM PDT
Subject: [Novel]Halo: Revelations

Any criticism or critiquing in welcomed... (hidden bump because I edited my reply instead of a new post)

  • 03.03.2011 1:23 PM PDT


Posted by: zak2014
Any criticism or critiquing in welcomed... (hidden bump because I edited my reply instead of a new post)
Needs to be longer and have more expression in it. It was plain and didnt really interest me too much, so i Just skimmed through it. I'll give you an example tommorow...

It's 10:49PM right now and it's almost time for me to go to sleep. I'm in grade 9 and I still have school I hope you know.

  • 03.03.2011 8:49 PM PDT


Posted by: The Anti Troller

Posted by: zak2014
Any criticism or critiquing in welcomed... (hidden bump because I edited my reply instead of a new post)
Needs to be longer and have more expression in it. It was plain and didnt really interest me too much, so i Just skimmed through it. I'll give you an example tommorow...

It's 10:49PM right now and it's almost time for me to go to sleep. I'm in grade 9 and I still have school I hope you know.


I'll be waiting for that example, and dude, this is my first time writing. I'm not gonna actually write a novel in one post, and only post once a month. Lol, I'm grade 9 too

  • 03.04.2011 1:26 PM PDT