- chotato
- |
- Honorable Member
finally got it. i think it was just the font but who knows.
here it is constructive criticsim please.
Planet- Cornos/ 0P7S5NX
Time- 12:47 AM
City- Venime
Through the eyes of Ron
Ron looked out of the window; he could see flashes of lighting in the pure dark sky. With the crisp cool wind passing over him, nearly knocking him over as he had no energy left no hope left. "Ron, how are you holding up, after well you know," Jasmine spoke softly, her voice drifting off into the pure black night. Ron looked over his shoulder through the edge of his eye and saw her. She had brown silky hair flowing down to the bottom of her shoulder blades. She had light blue eyes with a hint of green in the dark. Tan skin with freckles over her nose, 27 years old and about 5.8 feet tall. The sky flashed again and Ron was back there; He was back to last week. "Don't forget he medicine powder, sir. You wouldn't want to get back to moving with no vitamins" a medical nurse said with a smug smile as if talking to a baby. "That may be true but that doesn't change this stuff from tasting like -blam!-." Ron answered with a smirk towards her. He took the powder and mixed with some water. Ron had a thin build to his body. His hair was a brown sandy color and cut short right before his eyes. His eyes were Green going outward, brown going inward and hints of blue in the middle. He had freckles along the bridge of his nose and a scar going from the left ear to the middle of his left cheek. It was a dark blood color as he had just gotten it last year when facing elite with his knife. He would have lost his life but a sniper bullet shot through the elites head. His other seeable scar was slashing through his right cheek touching to the base of his right nostril. It was slightly pink but you could still see cuts formed around it. Ron wasn't really built for fighting, more for protecting. He was more of a sensitive person willing to protect others and unwilling to let the die. Ron slowly walked over to his squad leader Jay. Jay had short curly red-blond hair and hazel eyes. He had a muscular build and was ready for everything he was given. "Ron we will be leaving slip space travel in just a couple of minutes get your gear ready, A few covenant ships have attacked a small planet and we are supposed to evacuate every one out while we get air support and help from another group of ODST." Jay said smoothly with his all knowing voice as he sharpened his knife. Next to Jay was Sarah. Ron's sweet heart, She had dirty blonde hair and light brown eyes. She was 5'6 and was a wonderful person. Ron and her had gone to school together and were planning on getting married but then he got picked. With nothing left to do she tried out for the army as well and became an ODST and after there squad leader died she was switched to the same group as Ron. A love story come true; after the war they planned to move back to there old planet and get married.