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  • Subject: Fanfiction: Visegrad Relay The Army Troopers story (Part 3 released)
Subject: Fanfiction: Visegrad Relay The Army Troopers story (Part 3 released)

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  • 03.13.2011 11:53 AM PDT
Subject: Fanfiction: Visegrad Relay The Army Troopers story

~Z~

The writing so far is good, but the random, unnecessary capitalization of some words is sort of distracting, as well as not capitalizing some names. It's also a little hard to read dialouge when there are no quotation marks around it.

other than that, I think it's off to a really nice start.

  • 03.15.2011 6:23 AM PDT

Multiple spelling errors. I recommend getting a spell check and typing everything up on Word. If English isnt your first language. I am impressed.

  • 03.15.2011 10:32 AM PDT
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Bungie.net member Since 2001

"A hero need not speak. When he is gone, the world will speak for him"
"You are the last of your kind: bred for combat, built for war. You're the master of any weapon, pilot of any vehicle, and fear no enemy"

Very good, keep it up.

  • 03.16.2011 8:24 AM PDT

I enjoy Halo and Bacon!


Posted by: AssaultCommand
Posted by: jon does smuk
Thank you for the feedback. And no English isnt my first language.
It's not my first language either, and yet I think that I'm one of the best spellers on these forums.
You will (hopefully) get better as you go along.
You might want to get someone to edit out your spelling and grammar mistakes in the meantime, though. I used to do some editing for people, but I'm currently to busy with school, so I'm not going to be able to help you out with this.


no I am teh bst spellar on the forumz!
Just kidding on the spelling, and that's a good start!

  • 03.16.2011 4:23 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!


Posted by: AssaultCommand
Posted by: jon does smuk
Thank you for the feedback. And no English isnt my first language.
It's not my first language either, and yet I think that I'm one of the best spellers on these forums.
You will (hopefully) get better as you go along.
You might want to get someone to edit out your spelling and grammar mistakes in the meantime, though. I used to do some editing for people, but I'm currently to busy with school, so I'm not going to be able to help you out with this.
Aww, damn. You were just the person I was going to go to.

And, to the story, just as has been said before. What is your first language, Jon?

  • 03.17.2011 1:38 AM PDT

)Noble(

This is awesome please continue

  • 03.20.2011 5:12 AM PDT