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Subject: The Webmaster is Back Again

And this time, The Webmaster has actually included some reader art and scarification.

  • 08.26.2004 12:32 PM PDT
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The Webmaster can kiss my ass

  • 08.26.2004 12:47 PM PDT
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I was hoping he would be more mean then that, I have heard a nun talk more -blam!- then that... Is the webmaster loosing it?

  • 08.26.2004 12:51 PM PDT
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Posted by: Frankie
And this time, The Webmaster has actually included some reader art and scarification.


Thanks Frankie, today you are like Santa Claus, spreading gifts everywhere. Thanks for the Gamespy thing too.

  • 08.26.2004 12:57 PM PDT
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Good ones...I'll have to remember that ivory tower teaser.

  • 08.26.2004 1:14 PM PDT
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i think the webmaster has gone soft. he was actually answering questions and being nice this time.

  • 08.26.2004 1:18 PM PDT
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That Letters to the Webmaster made me cry! It's like the webmaster changed!

  • 08.26.2004 1:35 PM PDT
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can someone give me a link to the letter reponses......this thing is being -blam!- and wont let me in

  • 08.26.2004 1:51 PM PDT
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the link is in the first post

  • 08.26.2004 1:55 PM PDT
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GLAD TO SEE THAT WEBMASTER IS BACK :)

P.S. I WAS SAD TO SEE FRANK LEAVE OXM

  • 08.26.2004 2:18 PM PDT
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Kenny G. LOL.

  • 08.26.2004 2:19 PM PDT
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What happened to the "New Mombasa" forum?

  • 08.26.2004 2:25 PM PDT
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Posted by: DaMisterCheif
What happened to the "New Mombasa" forum?


Don't know, but there were a lot of spammers in there earlier.

Anyway this forum is about the Webmaster and his crazy gorilla-suit antics.

  • 08.26.2004 2:39 PM PDT

Twelve Large ²

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep.

Only 30 extra pounds? What, were you scared you were gonna own yourself, or something?

  • 08.26.2004 4:11 PM PDT
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He must be on those drugs that prevent hang-overs. Last time was piss-your-pants funny. This time, it was more like a "They killed Kenny" Funny.

  • 08.26.2004 6:18 PM PDT
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It was good, but people actually asked some halfway sensible questions. We need to see more stupid letters, such as:


I would like a job at Bungie. But first, I have something I would like you to know: I am a #)(*@ big@$$ genuis. Smarter than everybody. Of course, with such an intellect, I could lay waste to you and your foolish world. But alternatively, I choose to work at your company. Now that we're on proper grounds, I would like it to be an easy job- like making popcorn or something. Also, please send my schedule via email. I can work only on mondays, for a half day. Thank you for your time.


If people don't send letters that break new ground in the field of being a moron, the Webmaster can't write a sarcastic (and pants-pissingly funny) rebuttal to them. So to anyone out there on the net who likes to write stupid letters: Send the Webmaster stupid stuff so he can make us laugh!

  • 08.27.2004 5:52 AM PDT
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  • Elder Mythic Member

17th Post, w00t!!

  • 08.27.2004 6:03 AM PDT
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I dont know how much actual sci-fi you guys read but have you ever read "Ringworld" by Larry Niven; the similaritys are un-avoidable. The ringworld series is really good and actualy amplified my enjoyment of one of my favorite video games: Halo. I know that someone has writen a "Halo" novel, but can they really claim originality?

  • 08.27.2004 12:30 PM PDT
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Manitou that sounds like the funniest letter I have read HAHAHAHA who wrote that.

LOL these letters/responses are hilarious...who is the webmaster and why in the world would he have not played halo?
3.They said you're a "pistol--blam!-", whatever that means
HAHAHAHA

What is the webmaster's e-mail, I wanna write him a letter sounding like an idiot.

  • 08.28.2004 6:23 AM PDT
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The webmaster's email is webmaster@bungie.com. If you do write him a letter, you might not get a response for quite a long time as he's busy... well, being a webmaster.

And as for the webmaster's identity: who knows? If there are people who have seen the man behind the monkey, they're keeping mum about it...

  • 08.28.2004 12:27 PM PDT
Subject: Frankie...
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Tell me how you can get to be a video game designer, or do anything, like do what you do. How? I want to be a part of Halo 3 or Halo 4 when I'm older, but how!!, I mean, how do you get hired, you're just some lucky bastard or what?

  • 08.28.2004 12:37 PM PDT
Subject: about wort, wort, wort
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Yes, that's what the elites say and I'm pretty sure it means, go, go, go. It's our language backwards basically, and wort, wort, wort sounds really cool when they say it. You could translate other stuff they say to if you really wanted to... like when they see you they go, "ahmogibo", hell if I know, maybe that means enemy spotted.

  • 08.28.2004 12:40 PM PDT

- Mike

these were not as funny as the rest of them!

  • 08.29.2004 12:32 AM PDT
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A classic letter:

WHERE'S MARATHON INFINITY!! I WANT THE GAME NOW!!! IF I DON'T GET IT IN THE NEXT 24 HOURS MY HEAD WILL EXPLODE!!!!!!!!
Damon Holmes, damon@inter.ab.ca

Dear Friends-

We received young Damon's letter last week. It galvanized the entire office. Artists, programmers, level designers, beta testers and marketing masters dropped all their other projects and came together as one incredible creative machine and pulled a frantic all-nighter, trying desperately to get Marathon Infinity into the hands of our Canadian friend before the unthinkable happened.

Sadly, we failed. A call to Damon's domicile the next morning confirmed our worst fears: Damon's head had exploded. We spoke briefly with Damon's mother, who informed us that our efforts, though valiant, were too little, too late.

Bungie Headquarters was quiet that day. I suppose we were all wondering the same thing: whether we could have saved young Damon's life had we worked just a little harder. Those kind of thoughts lead to depression and inertia, however, and we couldn't afford to let ourselves sink in the quicksand of despair. To take our minds off the tragedy, we started up a net game with a beta of Marathon Infinity.

The hours that followed were among the most pleasant we have ever spent at the office. We reveled in the carnage of a Marathon net game, shrieking with glee when someone shot yet another SPNKR missile at Matt's feet and sent him careening across the arena, giggling madly as we bifurcated Jay's spine with SMG projectiles. Slowly, we all came to realize that Damon's death was not in vain, because it had brought us all together for the common goal of getting Infinity out as soon as possible, and though we hadn't quite achieved that goal, we were closer to it now than we had been twenty-four hours earlier. We vowed to keep Damon's dream alive, and we're still working late into the night, every night, to make sure the world will not be without Marathon Infinity much longer.

If you'd like to mark Damon's passing with quiet dignity, may we humbly suggest that you eschew the tired cliches of flowers and Hallmark cards. Rather, you can remember Damon by purchasing a copy of Marathon Infinity, and playing it until carpal tunnel syndrome shrivels your hands into useless gobs of flesh and bone dangling at the ends of your arms.

Damon would have wanted it that way

  • 08.30.2004 2:42 AM PDT

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