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Subject: HOW TO: Troll Matchmaking Effectively [Tutorial]

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

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How to be a ass on XBL

We all know that betrayals are an effective way of making people mad in MM. But the downside of that is you usually get betrayed back or if you do it too much you get an instant boot from the game.

So I thought I'd write this quick little tut instead of writing my English essay, just so you wannabe F@Gs/derankers/bored people, know what to do in the event that you want to piss some people off. :)



1. The Tryhard

Spend the entire game screaming at your teammates and not doing much else. Pick up on everyones mistakes while making ridiculous excuses for your own failures. Basically be as loud and obnoxious as possible. Racism/homophobia can be applied but this is not encouraged.

e.g. Call out people full shield as one shot then start screaming at your teammate when they fail at killing them.
- "OMG u R s0 fkn bad u fkn retarded little piece of pondscum! How could you die to him he was one shot"
- "But he wasn't he was full shield!"
- "How do you know?! You probably bought your fkn 50/45/30/etc...."

2. The Vehicular Betrayslaughter

Get someone to ride in your vehicle, drive them off the edge while jumping out at the last second so as not to get a betrayal. Helps if you do this everytime you are in a vehicle, especially if the map only has one per team. At 50 high TS this is brilliant if used repeatedly. Helps if the enemy team puts a shot into you first so it gives them a kill at the same time as destroying your only vehicle.

3. Forced Suicide

Basically same as 2 but instead of driving them off the edge completely, just hang them over the side in your vehicle so they must commit suicide to get back in the game.

e.g. They are gunning on the warthog/sideseat of a hornet (with flag/bomb for best effect), you hang just the rear of the warthog off the map while giving yourself space to get out/hover off the map on the hornet until they fall to their deaths. People get maaaaad.

4. Waste equipment/vehicles/weapons

Pick up snipe/laser/power weapon/powerup and burn it - i.e. waste all the ammo/nade yourself so powerup goes away/throw equipment off map. It's also very funny if you destroy all your teams vehicles on a map like sandtrap/avalanche.

5. Put people Redbar on Sandtrap

On Sandtrap (NOT Sandtarp) you can put the whole game redbar simply by driving one (or two if you want to be really mean) Elephants onto the crashed Pelican. I did it in this game with a friend, managing to lag over half the players out or made them ragequit as well as getting a nice betrayal frenzy at the end without getting booted. Oh and when one guy finally managed to betray me, I booted him from the game >:)

6. False Callouts

Works especially well when playing 45+ ranked or MLG. Make up your own callouts for anything. And then trashtalk people who say they don't know what they mean.

7. Music

Play music, preferably anything that will annoy people the most, e.g. Punjabi MC, Rebecca Black, Bieber, Filthy Dubstep, rick Astley, Pingu, etc... down the mic, really really loudly. If you do this half way through a high level game when people are concentrating too much to mute you, you get great reactions.

8. HLG

Hide. For the win, for the loss, it doesn't matter. Especially if you are deranking in doubles and know your teammate will lose no matter what, hide (with a power weapon) to make him even more infuriated.

9. Trashtalk people on Rank

This is the one I find most annoying, kind of self explanatory. If they are a higher rank, say they bought it. Lower rank, say they are bad.

10. 1v1

1v1 people and host the game yourself. That way when you get the first kill on them/a really nice kill on them, you can kick them from the game and make it look like they ragequit. It helps if you then fileshare the game/clip and call it "BK ragequits".

11. Cheat for no reason

Again, self explanatory. If you have the software, hold people redbar or hostboot them in social - Mythic or SBTB is probably the playlist where you can find the most 50s who would know what you are doing.

12. Pretend you don't know how to play

Act like you just bought the game (or your account) and run around all game asking what the shoot button is.

13. Derank

In social or ranked (or even Reach MLG) whatever you do it in, nothing annoys people more than a deranker.

14. Teabag every kill

No matter how bad it is. Beat down someone when they are 1 shot? Teabag. Get a headshot in swat? Teabag. And so on...

15. Nearly team kill

Shoot your teammates in the back until they are 1 shot. Once at 1 shot, stop. They will usually betray you if you do it too much so then boot them and send them messages of "lolololololol you're bad."

16. Betray Boot

Use the betray boot glitch in any and every playlist. For those of you who don't know what it means, it's basically when you walk into/get damaged by a teammate then walk into a section of the map that after a second or two will usually tell you you have been killed by the guardians. Examples of this are the belt on narrows (most common and easy one), a ledge at sword on Blackout, corner of the rock at low base nips on Snowbound, the high gate on Standoff (requires mongoose).

17. SLG

SLG: Suicide League Gaming.

Works in a lot of playlists. If you don't want to derank don't do it in playlists where you go -1 for suicides/betrayals (e.g. Doubles/MLG) - all you do is commit suicide for an entire game so the enemy has no chance of killing you. I have done this at 45+ swat with 2 friends after getting a 3 kill lead and we did it the whole game for lols. Also works in living dead if you are the last man standing (although you lose points).

18. Pretend to Turbo

This is for only the true dedicated members of the F@G community - pretend to have a turbo controller plugged in. Mute your mic (or play loud music down it) while repeatedly jumping in one spot for the entire game. Whenever you die just resume jumping upon respawn. This is especially funny as people will most likely betray you, at which point you can boot them and resume playing :P

19. Leave your team in a spawn trap

Be AFK in a game but make sure your hidden, allowing your teammates to spawn beside you. If the other team is good/you are playing at a high level, this will usually result in your team becoming spawn trapped and spawn killed for the majority of the game.

20. Being Judas

Pick up a member of the enemy team in one of your vehicles and drive him around. While he guns you can drive him to all your teammate's positions as you can see them on your HUD and with you driving, they can only stop him by either shooting him out of his gunners seat (which is hard) or by killing you both, which could give you the option to boot. It is especially effective if you drive the enemy around in the warthog from your side as it won't respawn while you are driving it, leaving your team warthog-less!

~ credits go to: kil2chil for this one :)

21. False Rank

Create a new account and only get to lvl 15-19. Get well over 400 exp and make it appear that you are stuck at First Lieutenant rank. Players will really think you are bad. It's not until the match ends that they realize they were totally fooled and just faced a player far better than some low level 15. They will feel stupid for trash talking and assuming you would be the reason the team would lose when in fact your carried thier sorry asses to victory.

~ credits go to: I STOLE ur ATV

22. Tryhard 2.0

Pretending to be pro: this

~ credits go to: NOBLE SlX - I haven't watched it yet, but it looks lol worthy.

23. Pretend to be a tryhard on a fellow deranker.

Make the game take as long as possible: http://www.bungie.net/Online/Halo3UserContentDetails.aspx?h3f ileid=122103525

~ Credits go to: Prophet of Liess - As a deranker I know how fun/annoying this can be >.<

24. On My X

Use "On My X" as your only callout throughout the game. Works really well in high level ranked, especially MLG.

~ credits go to: III Kirby III - for reminding me of this :P

25. The Unfair 1v1

Set up a 1v1 on a map with hidden powerups/teleporters and use them to get an unfair advantage.

~ credits go to: It Will Be Done - God those maps were awesome to use, I used to have a few myself. The MLG G@ymtypes ones were the best.

26. The Fake 1v1

Make a second account with exactly the same name, armour & emblem as the person you want to do this to, then proceed to fake a 1v1 and clip/screenshot it and send it around to everyone you can. This has been done a lot where people pretend to beat pros 1v1.

~ credit goes to: It Will Be Done

27. Become an Actor

Pretend to be a "hillbilly on crack" (or anything else that works - I usually go for mexican - just keep shouting "PUTO!")
And play the bleep test apparently...

~ credits go to the tortoise - this guy trolls hardcore lol



Well this concludes my tutorial, I hope you found it an interesting and informative read! Have fun trolling MM :)

~ Haze



P.S. If any of you have other methods that you think I haven't covered, feel free to post them below and I'll be sure to add them to the list :)

Edit: For those of you about to post, tl;dr - I really don't care, I wrote this for teh lulz :)

[Edited on 05.07.2011 6:28 PM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 10:49 AM PDT

What do you think of Halo: Reach?
I think it is B.O.R.I.N.G... and I agree with Honorable Heroic Member, "N7R" and I quote...

"You cannot compare Halo 3 to Reach, Reach is not a game, its a disc in a plastic green case called pure fail."

Unquote.

Wow, nice tutorial. 17 ways to get banned temporary.
Still, I give you points for creativity.

  • 05.07.2011 10:58 AM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

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Posted by: Dann Latia Yoshi
Wow, nice tutorial. 17 ways to get banned temporary.
Still, I give you points for creativity.


The only one which would get you banned now is [11]

[13] would only get you banned now if you are an idiot and turbo derank, but I made this tutorial for those in the community who actively want to annoy people not people who plug in a controller and come back 6 hours later.

Although standing AFK in a few games or pretending you have a turbo is a good way I guess. Gonna add that one too :)

  • 05.07.2011 11:04 AM PDT

WIN

  • 05.07.2011 11:07 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
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All that is needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

How to: Be an ass and drive the remenants of the dwindling population away.


[Edited on 05.07.2011 11:10 AM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 11:10 AM PDT

ll HackY ll

This is amazing. I shall get started.

  • 05.07.2011 11:29 AM PDT

hey that was a well thought out and written post well done , remind me to avoid you if i ever meet you in matchmaking.

  • 05.07.2011 11:30 AM PDT

You forgot to add driving the other team around in your warthog so you can kill them on spawn, a very effective way of annoying people ,its also easy to put your gunner on target as you can see your taem mates, when they eventually betray you boot them.

  • 05.07.2011 11:36 AM PDT

What do you think of Halo: Reach?
I think it is B.O.R.I.N.G... and I agree with Honorable Heroic Member, "N7R" and I quote...

"You cannot compare Halo 3 to Reach, Reach is not a game, its a disc in a plastic green case called pure fail."

Unquote.

Posted by: kil2chil
You forgot to add driving the other team around in your warthog so you can kill them on spawn, a very effective way of annoying people ,its also easy to put your gunner on target as you can see your taem mates, when they eventually betray you boot them.


I do that in Reach from time to time. When I'm completely bored over of my mind. I'll hop in a warthog or falcon, meesage someone of the other team or if my friends are on the other team and we just screw their days up. I think it's comical and the best part is since I'm piloting, the rocket launcher can't lock onto me and destroy it. (I only do this on Reach, not Halo 3...) It's what I just do when I'm bored. =D

  • 05.07.2011 12:06 PM PDT

Yes. I am a Battle Rifle machine. The DMR is a poor replacement.

Lol this is a very retarded but well thought out thread.

  • 05.07.2011 12:15 PM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

TD 50 TS 50 TSW 50

Posted by: kil2chil
You forgot to add driving the other team around in your warthog so you can kill them on spawn, a very effective way of annoying people ,its also easy to put your gunner on target as you can see your taem mates, when they eventually betray you boot them.


Haha cheers mate I just updated the OP (and gave you credits). Can't believe I forgot that one! Rookie error.

Do you think I could get this pinned? :P

  • 05.07.2011 2:40 PM PDT

10 and 11 are awesome, lol

  • 05.07.2011 2:42 PM PDT

In soviet B.net you don't delete the flood, the flood deletes you.

If the following has ever happened to you on the flood: been butthurt, offended, angry from someone's post, feel like Nerd Raging . . . you have the right to SHUT UP

Also, if you play Reach this is YOU

you forgot one man . . .

19. False Rank

Create a new account and only get to lvl 15-19. Get well over 400 exp and make it appear that you are stuck at First Lieutenant rank. Players will really think you are bad. It's not until the match ends that they realize they were totally fooled and just faced a player far better than some low level 15. They will feel stupid for trash talking and assuming you would be the reason the team would lose when in fact your carried thier sorry asses to victory.

  • 05.07.2011 2:45 PM PDT

This is a Reach account that I created the day they announced his name in a bnet weekly update. Any stats regarding ODST or Halo 3 are irrelevant. Also, Halo CE master race. Halo 1 > other halo games > other games.

Account Status: Silver :(

#20 Tryhard 2.0

Pretending to be pro: this

[Edited on 05.07.2011 3:02 PM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 3:00 PM PDT

This is a Reach account that I created the day they announced his name in a bnet weekly update. Any stats regarding ODST or Halo 3 are irrelevant. Also, Halo CE master race. Halo 1 > other halo games > other games.

Account Status: Silver :(

I've done 6 & 18 so much lol

  • 05.07.2011 3:01 PM PDT

This is a Reach account that I created the day they announced his name in a bnet weekly update. Any stats regarding ODST or Halo 3 are irrelevant. Also, Halo CE master race. Halo 1 > other halo games > other games.

Account Status: Silver :(

I usually yell at people about weapons that we start out with. Like if it's ARs I'll yell give me the AR or something. Or like some really stupid weapon like a Brute Spiker and then betray for it.

  • 05.07.2011 3:04 PM PDT

19 false rank, my mates and i used to do this all the time, we refered to it as "scrubbing up", in the lobby we would say things like "wheres the helicopter on this map?" on citidel, "im a beast with the sniper, i had two kills in the last game and only ten deaths" and ask totally awesome looking staff captains if they could rank us up, totally lulling the opposition into thinking we are complete scrubs then spawn killing the hell out of them till they quite rofl

  • 05.07.2011 3:14 PM PDT

Posted by: Ethereally
6. False Callouts
Works especially well when playing 45+ ranked or MLG. Make up your own callouts for anything. And then trashtalk people who say they don't know what they mean.


I do this on the reg.

A lot of times I'll lie about dying with a power weapon and laugh when all 3 of my teammates rush my X.

Other times I'll say someone is one shot when they are full shields just for lulz.

  • 05.07.2011 3:15 PM PDT
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The Super Troll:

Start the game by hogging your teams power weapons and then miss all your shots with it or waste the ammo. Then -blam!- to your teamates that they are bad. Get them to 1v1 you and invite them. If they tell you to join say you can't connect.

Use custom maps that appear like default or MLG maps. For example the Guardian map with invisible teleporters. Make sure to have the gametype settings to make custom either make you invincible or make your damage resistance up, but no overshield. Hell if your even smart enough to use it take camo and just assassinate him, but make sure to punch a lot after he kills you so it doesn't come back on. Either destroy him or HLG him when you have the lead.

Note: For me I have made tons of these kinds of maps. I don't have my MLG versions on my new Xbox, but I remade a couple if you want to see what I am talking about.

The construct map has a turret behind the Sword spawn which will put you to where you have to jump up and go through a teleporter. After jumping and going to another teleporter on the right, you will see a hidden weapon stash off the map with everything you could want. At the end of the hall is all kinds of equipment and grenades and a custom. Just go back through the teleporter and hop down to get back in map.

The blackout map is more simple. I made it quick. Near the back end of the sniper tower (where the bubble shield is) you can fall down into a box with weapons, ect. A teleporter will put you behind the grav lift where you can jump down to the elbow.

Download them from my fileshare.

For map requests, mlg versions, or more detailed versions just message me and I can give you anything.

I used to use these kinds of maps for gamebattles or people who challenged me from matchmaking. :)

  • 05.07.2011 3:28 PM PDT

One thing that hacks people off is if you copy a players armour, tag ect go into a custom match kill them lots , take a screenshot of the final score with you teabagging the dead body, send this pic labelled "bk owned" to the person you copied and all the people on their friends list. You can then continue to send them the pic over a period of months from different accounts lol . This tactic is best reserved for people who genuinley deserve it.

  • 05.07.2011 3:36 PM PDT

kil2chil <3

  • 05.07.2011 4:28 PM PDT

yawn

  • 05.07.2011 4:30 PM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

TD 50 TS 50 TSW 50

Updated OP with your genius ideas, credit goes where it is due :)

  • 05.07.2011 4:45 PM PDT

10/10

  • 05.07.2011 5:07 PM PDT

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