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Subject: HOW TO: Troll Matchmaking Effectively [Tutorial]

King of Living Dead

27. Call Microsoft Customer Support and tell them you are a deranker and cheater and that you deserve to get banned.

28. Sell your Xbox and buy a PS3

29. Play Black Ops and get your personal info stolen

30. ???

31. Profit



[Edited on 05.07.2011 5:22 PM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 5:21 PM PDT
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YOu plagiarizing bastard! I made a thread in the Reach forum ages ago about how to betray effectively. Wasn't anywhere near as long as this one though.

Also, another tip: do the above steps in the MLG playlist. You're sure to make some tryhards scream in there.

Nice job Haze, +1

  • 05.07.2011 5:44 PM PDT
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p4p king


Posted by: I STOLE ur ATV
you forgot one man . . .

19. False Rank

Create a new account and only get to lvl 15-19. Get well over 400 exp and make it appear that you are stuck at First Lieutenant rank. Players will really think you are bad. It's not until the match ends that they realize they were totally fooled and just faced a player far better than some low level 15. They will feel stupid for trash talking and assuming you would be the reason the team would lose when in fact your carried thier sorry asses to victory.
I did this before. Then doubles 50s etc trash talk and want to 1v1, then get dumped on.

Anyone that challenges a low lvl to a 1v1 is guaranteed to be bad.

  • 05.07.2011 5:56 PM PDT
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Also, make sure you put on a different voice, like a hillbilly on crack. Then people won't mute you because they'll be too busy arguing with you.

And make sure to play the Beep Test in the MM lobby.

  • 05.07.2011 5:57 PM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

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Posted by: BlackDark Jak
27. Call Microsoft Customer Support and tell them you are a deranker and cheater and that you deserve to get banned.

28. Sell your Xbox and buy a PS3

29. Play Black Ops and get your personal info stolen

30. ???

31. Profit



Lol my old main already was banned and I have a PS3... and I did get an email from PSN saying my details could have been stolen...

Yet to see the profit at this stage, I'm still waiting at ????

  • 05.07.2011 6:25 PM PDT

Posted by: Gig4t3ch

Posted by: Mike Huntt
The thing is, a lot of the best default Halo Reach players and some of the biggest default Halo 3 Matchmaking warriors.


Gotta love those verb-less sentences.

Nice thread. I usually inv them talking crap for a 1v1, then boot them and use the false call out one in the OP.

[Edited on 05.07.2011 6:52 PM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 6:52 PM PDT
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Also if you were wondering what the Beep Test is, here you go.

Just be warned, it's not what you'd expect.

[Edited on 05.07.2011 7:15 PM PDT]

  • 05.07.2011 7:14 PM PDT
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Posted by: x Foman123 x
Posted by: jaythenerdkid
I definitely believe every wildly inflated claim ITT.

Weow kid, do you even lift?


Skype: au-simon

lol the beep test.

  • 05.07.2011 7:38 PM PDT

Join the Sith Empire today!
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Born a boy, raised a man, lived a hero, and died a legend.
Words to live by: "If man were to do thier best we would astound ourselves" -Thomas Edison
"Sometimes we only have a bullet and a prayer, don't miss."-Red Faction

Nice I laughed on how you have this all down to a science. Bravo I never thought anyone could put it any better way lol

  • 05.07.2011 8:06 PM PDT


Posted by: Ethereally

Pretending to be pro: this


That Mackeo impression was dead-on.

  • 05.07.2011 8:09 PM PDT

This is a Reach account that I created the day they announced his name in a bnet weekly update. Any stats regarding ODST or Halo 3 are irrelevant. Also, Halo CE master race. Halo 1 > other halo games > other games.

Account Status: Silver :(

Is the play lady gaga and Selena Gomez music already on the list? You can usually make them out too because they are electronic

  • 05.07.2011 8:38 PM PDT

Here's one: If you ever get the option to boot early in the game, wait, and keep the boot screen up. When there is one kill left in the game, boot them. They'll probably have forgotten about their betrayal early in the match. Or, you can threaten them with the ability to boot at any given time. I think if you hold down the scoreboard ("select" button), you can still run around and stuff, at least in Reach you can. Alternatively, if someone betrays you but you don't get the option to boot, pretend like you do and stand still the whole game threatening them.

  • 05.07.2011 8:53 PM PDT

Look at my Reach MLG k/d. I have loads of fun.

  • 05.07.2011 9:14 PM PDT

Posted by: Gig4t3ch

Posted by: Mike Huntt
The thing is, a lot of the best default Halo Reach players and some of the biggest default Halo 3 Matchmaking warriors.


Gotta love those verb-less sentences.

Posted by: the tortoise
Also if you were wondering what the Beep Test is, here you go.

Just be warned, it's not what you'd expect.

PM me the tortoise and hare race thing.

  • 05.07.2011 9:30 PM PDT
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Posted by: x Foman123 x
Posted by: jaythenerdkid
I definitely believe every wildly inflated claim ITT.

Weow kid, do you even lift?


Skype: au-simon

Venom, that's it.

  • 05.07.2011 9:31 PM PDT

Posted by: Gig4t3ch

Posted by: Mike Huntt
The thing is, a lot of the best default Halo Reach players and some of the biggest default Halo 3 Matchmaking warriors.


Gotta love those verb-less sentences.

Posted by: Mike Huntt
Venom, that's it.


Oh, I didnt dl it, i will now. lol

  • 05.07.2011 9:35 PM PDT
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Posted by: Mike Huntt


Do you ever get online anymore?

Also if anybody can find part two of the beep test it would be greatly appreciated.

  • 05.07.2011 9:52 PM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

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Posted by: Crusader0102
Here's one: If you ever get the option to boot early in the game, wait, and keep the boot screen up. When there is one kill left in the game, boot them. They'll probably have forgotten about their betrayal early in the match. Or, you can threaten them with the ability to boot at any given time. I think if you hold down the scoreboard ("select" button), you can still run around and stuff, at least in Reach you can. Alternatively, if someone betrays you but you don't get the option to boot, pretend like you do and stand still the whole game threatening them.


I don't have enough space in the OP to write it in lol but yeah that is a good one.

28. The Delayed Boot

If you ever get the option in game to boot someone, you can delay it to cause the maximum irritation by holding down the back button. By doing this (with the boot screen up) it brings up the scoreboard and allows you to run around! You can't shoot or look around but you run around all game with the option to boot, which you should definitely do in the last 10 seconds! It's fun to do this while deranking doubles if you get paired with a tryhard - let them almost win, before booting them and quitting yourself.

~ credits go to: Crusader0102

  • 05.08.2011 5:44 AM PDT

The 'Shieldless'

Go into a game off host. Complain about how bad the host is, how none of your shots register, how foreigners should be banned from Halo 3, and then rage quit.

The 'Brown Tears'

Go into a game on host. Complain about how bad the host is, how none of your shots register, how foreigners should be banned from Halo 3, how bad you would destroy these kids on your own host, and then rage quit.

The 'MLGJesus'

Go into a default playlist. Complain for the entire duration of the game about default settings. Complain about getting 1) sworded 2) shotgunned 3)AR'd 4)killed b/c of motion sensor 5)gravity hammered 6) etc. Complain about broken default spawns and horrible maps. Complain about default randoms and how bad they are. Say you can't take default gametypes seriously and talk about how you have a MLG 50 while going -13 in TS.

  • 05.08.2011 6:27 AM PDT

*reminisces when the Bungie/Halo community wasn't made up of CoD kids*
*sighs*
*activates time-machine and sets the clock back to Nov. 9, 2004*
glory days here I come..
*vanishes*

Win.

  • 05.08.2011 6:47 AM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

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29. The 'Shieldless'

Go into a game off host. Complain about how bad the host is, how none of your shots register, how foreigners should be banned from Halo 3, and then rage quit.

30. The 'Brown Tears'

Go into a game on host. Complain about how bad the host is, how none of your shots register, how foreigners should be banned from Halo 3, how bad you would destroy these kids on your own host, and then rage quit.

31. The 'MLGJesus'

Go into a default playlist. Complain for the entire duration of the game about default settings. Complain about getting 1) sworded 2) shotgunned 3)AR'd 4)killed b/c of motion sensor 5)gravity hammered 6) etc. Complain about broken default spawns and horrible maps. Complain about default randoms and how bad they are. Say you can't take default gametypes seriously and talk about how you have a MLG 50 while going -13 in TS.

~ Lmao xD Obviously credits go to: III Kirby III

  • 05.08.2011 7:13 AM PDT

I don't really have any new ones but wasting weapons and vehicles was always fun. I remember playing 2 flag heavy on Valhalla. Best strat was to grab both laser and sniper then hop in a Banshee and fly to the other side, hop out and try to grab the other teams flag only to fail miserably and loose all your teams stuff.

The rage was hilarious.

  • 05.08.2011 7:43 AM PDT

Ethereal - Insubstantial like Mist.
Ethereally - Doing something in a Ethereal manner.

My Youtube

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Posted by: Tomberry
I don't really have any new ones but wasting weapons and vehicles was always fun. I remember playing 2 flag heavy on Valhalla. Best strat was to grab both laser and sniper then hop in a Banshee and fly to the other side, hop out and try to grab the other teams flag only to fail miserably and loose all your teams stuff.

The rage was hilarious.


That is both hilarious and incredibly evil. +1 :D

  • 05.08.2011 8:23 AM PDT
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All that is needed for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

0/10


I would expect more from the Halo 3 community. It was my understanding that people here would like H3 to prosper, not die. No wonder reach is doing better than this game.

  • 05.08.2011 8:36 AM PDT

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