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  • Subject: An Unbiased Opinion Please (Reach Machinima)
Subject: An Unbiased Opinion Please (Reach Machinima)

Proud director of Black Plasma Studios. Check us out on Youtube!

So I've been working on this long machinima, expected to run around 40-50 minutes in length, and I need opinions on how it is so far.

I've secretly uploaded the first 20:48 of the film, available only to those with the link.

I did this so people can tell me what they think so far, so I can adjust some things before the final product.

I'd just like to make sure you know this is not the final product! There are many things I am already planning to fix just haven't gotten around to it (mostly lack of sound effects and some visual touches.)

Anywho, here it is; please review it if you decide to watch it, so far I've only gotten reviews from my friends.

Project Middleground (First 20 Minutes Draft)

  • 05.14.2011 8:59 PM PDT
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Apart from audio hiccups it was great,
please say that's only part 1?
And for part 2 they get trapped inside middleground, one of them goes insane and starts making his idea of hell within middleground,

Then because of overloading middleground, it starts to collapse or something like that.Just of the top of my head.

[Edited on 05.15.2011 8:02 AM PDT]

  • 05.15.2011 3:55 AM PDT

Proud director of Black Plasma Studios. Check us out on Youtube!

That could have been an interesting touch, but no, part 2 is a bit different.

Someone else connects to Middleground from an unknown host and then starts screwing stuff up, and they get to battle it out with their minds for a bit.

  • 05.15.2011 7:48 AM PDT
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Neo : If you die in the matrix.. do you die in real life?

Morpheus : The body can not live without the mind.

The whole time I was watching part 1 I was thinking,
"Mmm this is a cross between the matrix and inception."

I don't know what to say if you tell me that you didn't get inspiration from either of them films for this machinima!

[Edited on 05.15.2011 8:00 AM PDT]

  • 05.15.2011 7:58 AM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

- Batman

I have skimmed over some parts to look at filming and camera angles (I'll watch it fully tomorrow) but it is well framed mostly, but you regally break the 180 degree rule. Just bare that in mind when making the next part.

- JFKES

  • 05.15.2011 2:59 PM PDT

Proud director of Black Plasma Studios. Check us out on Youtube!

I've pretty much fixed that after a day or two of filming. If you watch most other scenes that no longer occurs.

  • 05.15.2011 3:36 PM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

- Batman

Slightly long post, hope this analysis is ok:

Ok, I have just finished watching it and can I just say, the tone, music and camera work are beautiful. Aside from a few minor jump cuts (and one case of the camera slightly moving) it has been made in a highly professionally way.

Ok, I am guessing that the opening sequence was a dream? If not I don't understand how it fits into the rest of the opening. When first watching it I thought that he walked through a door which lead into Sword Base. I suggest that if that is not the case you work out a way to differentiate between the two scenes.

At the 1:30 mark its quite hard to hear what they are saying because the soundtrack is so loud (or because the voices are slightly quiet)

There were also a few random fades, but I am sure they either had a reason or will be removed.

My only major gripe is that nothing really happens. Its really entertaining and engaging as this new world is unveiled to you, but it is a big thing in film that the audience should know what kind of experience they are in for within the first ten minuets. The build up about people messing with it was fun, and the characters were three dimensional. I just thing that something should actually happen. I am guessing that they will become trapped in the 'middle ground' and they form groups among themselves and fight with one another (to show the lengths humans are willing to go to survive when under pressure). If you want to hear the end of my idea, feel free to give me a PM, its just that I don't want to post it hear (unless you are happy for me to do so) as I don't want to spoil the ending.

I am slightly upset that another of my Machinima ideas have been used up (I really need to finish it and publish it) after my theme of hackers which could ban you with weapons was in Arby n the Chief I have realized how important it is that I get this done. But this is no fault of your or your Machinima, its just that great minds think alike I guess :)

All in all a very beautiful Machinima, engaging, but you are right, something needs to happen soon. Perhaps only the first guy should be able to exit it and then something goes wrong (that way the person who gets through can be trying to sort it out outside the 'middle ground' and perhaps re-enters at a later date).

Lots of potential and at some parts I forgot I was watching a Machinima and felt like I was watching an actual film.

Great job, keep it up and I would love to help any way possible!

- JFKES

  • 05.17.2011 1:08 PM PDT

Proud director of Black Plasma Studios. Check us out on Youtube!

Thanks a bunch for the review, it really helped! I broke down some parts of it to answer some of your concerns and questions.

Ok, I am guessing that the opening sequence was a dream? If not I don't understand how it fits into the rest of the opening.
Yes, the dream comes back right after where this sneak peek ends, and is a large part of the end of the film.

When first watching it I thought that he walked through a door which lead into Sword Base.
Do you mean you thought he went from Forge World to Sword Base? Because that is what was supposed to have happened.

At the 1:30 mark its quite hard to hear what they are saying because the soundtrack is so loud (or because the voices are slightly quiet)
1:30? When they were in the car? No one should've been talking.

My only major gripe is that nothing really happens. Its really entertaining and engaging as this new world is unveiled to you, but it is a big thing in film that the audience should know what kind of experience they are in for within the first ten minuets. The build up about people messing with it was fun, and the characters were three dimensional. I just thing that something should actually happen.
Things really pick up after this point, tension grows with the Superintendent, but yes, not much happens, which is why I made this sneek peek to be reviewed. Do you think there is anything I can do without getting my voice actors to send in any more lines to add to the activity of the beginning?

...but you are right, something needs to happen soon.
Do you think it could help if I like, started hinting around to system malfunctions earlier on in the beginning. Like they are walking, one guy falls behind, and like, notices some weird glitch or something?

  • 05.18.2011 12:37 PM PDT

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  • 05.18.2011 2:44 PM PDT

I'll watch it when this strange Youtube lag stops for me.

  • 05.18.2011 3:03 PM PDT

Is it just me or does the opening music sound very very similar to "To Build a Home" from Cinematic Orchestra... >.>

  • 05.18.2011 11:10 PM PDT

Proud director of Black Plasma Studios. Check us out on Youtube!

The black scenes and audio levels were due to the fact that this preview was largely in preproduction. Most of those problems have been fixed since then.

The city will fall apart near the end of the film. I'll keep looking for places to work things in.

  • 05.19.2011 12:36 PM PDT
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"

- Batman

Posted by: Arbiter 617
Yes, the dream comes back right after where this sneak peek ends, and is a large part of the end of the film.
Ok.

Do you mean you thought he went from Forge World to Sword Base? Because that is what was supposed to have happened. Ok then, because I am lost as to when the dream ends and the the physical reality begins.

1:30? When they were in the car? No one should've been talking. Maybe it was 11:30 then. It was a scene when they were standing around talking and the music seemed loud.

Things really pick up after this point, tension grows with the Superintendent, but yes, not much happens, which is why I made this sneek peek to be reviewed. Do you think there is anything I can do without getting my voice actors to send in any more lines to add to the activity of the beginning? It might be nice having a few establishing shots of the whole area, and slightly increase the narrative hook of the dream (as currently it seems to serve little purpose...)

Do you think it could help if I like, started hinting around to system malfunctions earlier on in the beginning. Like they are walking, one guy falls behind, and like, notices some weird glitch or something? Yes, maybe have the exit zone not work at first or something like that. It seems simple enough, but have some slightly tense music.

To tell you the honest truth, I can't give much more feed back until I see a bit more (I understand that probably isn't an option) but overall a great machinima, should get a million views if I had the power to do so.

Also, in a month could you please look over my machinima (I'll send you a link when it is finished) so you can give comments.

Much thanks and good work!

- JFKES

  • 05.19.2011 2:58 PM PDT

Awesome filming and audio.

Storyline is cool too, even though it is really similar to the matrix.

Great job though. Much better than I could ever do.

  • 05.23.2011 7:03 PM PDT

GNOP? But my dad plays GNOP.

This is the first machinima that i have ever sat through entirely, And it was 20min, Very interestin, well made, good directing, great camerawork, nice music, awesome effects! this is like a 50/50 Tron and Avatar, love the intro, was so trippy, and the character development=A+ you dont just throw people in there with no purpose, you gave them some backstory, if you ever need a voice actor or an extra, let me know! -Gtag - AN ARMLESS HOBO

  • 05.24.2011 9:30 PM PDT