- JFKES
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"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me"
- Batman
Posted by: Arbiter 617
Yes, the dream comes back right after where this sneak peek ends, and is a large part of the end of the film. Ok.
Do you mean you thought he went from Forge World to Sword Base? Because that is what was supposed to have happened. Ok then, because I am lost as to when the dream ends and the the physical reality begins.
1:30? When they were in the car? No one should've been talking. Maybe it was 11:30 then. It was a scene when they were standing around talking and the music seemed loud.
Things really pick up after this point, tension grows with the Superintendent, but yes, not much happens, which is why I made this sneek peek to be reviewed. Do you think there is anything I can do without getting my voice actors to send in any more lines to add to the activity of the beginning? It might be nice having a few establishing shots of the whole area, and slightly increase the narrative hook of the dream (as currently it seems to serve little purpose...)
Do you think it could help if I like, started hinting around to system malfunctions earlier on in the beginning. Like they are walking, one guy falls behind, and like, notices some weird glitch or something? Yes, maybe have the exit zone not work at first or something like that. It seems simple enough, but have some slightly tense music.
To tell you the honest truth, I can't give much more feed back until I see a bit more (I understand that probably isn't an option) but overall a great machinima, should get a million views if I had the power to do so.
Also, in a month could you please look over my machinima (I'll send you a link when it is finished) so you can give comments.
Much thanks and good work!
- JFKES