Bungie Universe
This topic has moved here: Subject: post war fiction
  • Subject: post war fiction
Subject: post war fiction

this is a short story , about post war UNSC.


"the plan"

march 5,2553, two days after the end of hostilities, a anonimus member of ONI section I, under the codename HOLYDIVER, submited a +1000 page report for the UEG, for after war activities,including economical and military rebuild ,relocation of war refuges, and anti insurectionist metods, here is a summary of the report.

ONI REPORT #3459887: reconstruction

"just a few days ago the war end, but its effects still remain,millions of homeless refuges, 90 to 95 percent of teritories lost or damaged , and a weaker goverment are just some of the visible problems, and there many more that are not visible, but eventually would threat our fragile goverment, like the resurecting insurections, utilizing the refuge situation to their own advantage, with that in mind i created a plan that migth be the solution to all our problems, the reconstruction plan. this is a hypothetical plan, which atempts to restore unsc to its pre-war glory.

primarly we must relocate and house more than 7 billion humans and thats itself is no easy task no easy task. my proposition is to put them in some of our remaining in-habitable colonies that are more than hundred.second we must create jobs ,because, intellegence reports, that the main metod of reclutment is the same that many insurections have used through history, to convince the people that the cause of all their problems is the goverment;and with the ongoing problems of the civilian population,its extremly easly blame them on UEG and UNSC; but if we create jobs and reduce their problems(through better public service,which in a way is creating more jobs), they will have less reasons to go against us, weakening the insurections,by so solving many problems including, unemployment,terrorism and civil violence.

now many of you wonder how we are going to create jobs,well there is a small colony, not so far away from reach or earth,is rich in all we need to restore the glory of UNSC and humanity(titanium,iron,helium3,hidrogen,uranium,plutonium),bu t it needs to be removed from the ground, and instead of using machines,we will use man power,that could produce billions of credits and thusands of jobs,but they'll need to live somewhere , and buildings so the companies could have offices to manage the mines so we need engeniers to build those structures,and will need farmers to produce the food and will need stores to sell the food,and we will need plants to purify the material,and we'll need factories, tomake the tools of the miners and the enginiers, and even weapons for the military, and to transport everything to other stellar systems,so will need a orbital elevator and a spaceport ,were ships could be built, so we'll need all types of professionals, so you can imagine how much credits and jobs will be produce.

in theory, we could restore UNSC to its pre war state. we also need to reinforce the military so if a new threat appeares we could be ready to fight it, but i will taslk about that in a future report"
codename:HOLYDIVER,3/5/2553
this passed plan was approved, march,7,2553 and will began being employed summer 2553.

that was the first short story of my post war serie,comment,rate, and tel me if ou think it should be cannonical

[Edited on 05.25.2011 2:44 PM PDT]

  • 05.24.2011 6:58 PM PDT

he was writting it since january, when he heard from the victory over the convenant,he finished it in his way out of memorial hill,after the event,and he as already editing it,also it was a digital document sent by e-mail, and editting is faster.

  • 05.24.2011 7:24 PM PDT

refuges is what im meant,they never had a exact number of refuges,because much of them ,were hidding or the conditions are horrible,and sometimes they were more refuges that the ones counted, that might be one of my next stories,a girl around 17,a reach refuge who writes in her journal about the conditions in a refuge camp.

  • 05.24.2011 7:33 PM PDT

hopefully you'll enjoy my stories,i'm a rookie writter,i'm publishing my first book in june or july

  • 05.24.2011 7:37 PM PDT

wow, i thought we at least had 350 billion(you know,2500s),but i'll edit it if bungie or microsoft wants to.

  • 05.24.2011 8:04 PM PDT

thanks,you should tell everyone in the forum and in xbox live about my story,and you are actually helping me out,so no problem just tell it to all the halo players,see if bungie or 343i would look at it.

  • 05.24.2011 8:08 PM PDT

oh,also i said around 20 billion, you remamber cole's protocole,right?

  • 05.24.2011 8:11 PM PDT

You do realize several colonies were left untouched right?

Here is the list of colonies that survived the war without damage.

Forseti
Minister
Lenapi
Jovian Moons

These are the colonies that survived but were attacked.

Earth
Tribute
Cygnus
New Harmony
Sigma Octanus IV
Leonis Minoris I
Groombridge
Xo Bootis

These colonies are debatable.

Harvest
Emerald Cove

All together, the population would equal maybe 2 billion. Forseti alone had 500 million alone.

  • 05.24.2011 8:51 PM PDT

Glory and fame, blood is our name!
Souls full of thunder, hearts of steel!
Killers of men, a warrior's friend!
Sworn to avenge our fallen brothers!
Sons of the gods, today we shall die.
Open Valhalla's door!
Let the battle begin, with swords in the wind! Hail Gods of War!

anonimus.

  • 05.24.2011 10:20 PM PDT

Bungie Pentathlon - who actually cares ?

I have to say that the story needs a shed load of work before it can be considered plausible.

> 250 pages to summarise how to rebuild the UNSC ? You must be joking, I had to do a 100+ page report on restructing several departments at work !! and that is one office buidling
> the grammar and spelling is really really poor, needs to be proof read, too many comas making up massive multi point lines of text
> 20 billion would not be correct, check out the Universe forum as it has been debated to death - plus check out the forum for a wealth of other information that could bolster the story.

All in all, ok idea, badly executed - work on it !

  • 05.25.2011 8:25 AM PDT

thank,i will edit it, reduce refuge populartion to around 10-6 billion and i will reduce the number of pages to around hundred

  • 05.25.2011 2:21 PM PDT

I am Field Master Avu Med 'Telcam, Servant of the Abiding Truth, and I have many brothers.

A god who creates tools is still a god. It is not for us to impose qualifications upon the divine or presume to guess its intentions.

Here's one of many. happy clicking.

  • 05.25.2011 4:00 PM PDT

Bungie Pentathlon - who actually cares ?


Posted by: Mario 347
thank,i will edit it, reduce refuge populartion to around 10-6 billion and i will reduce the number of pages to around hundred


Nooo...I was saying that the report would easily (to refit and rebuild the UNSC) be around the 1000+ page mark. It would be massive

To do it effectively they would have to move refugees to surviving colonies, or to rebuild essential colonies such as Harvest etc - or conscript a large portion of them to boost the UNSC military machine.

Either way it would be a massive job. Instead of creating a story about a character involved in making the report why not instead make the whole book an actual report - kind of like a massive Halsey's Journal ? AS if you had wrote the report yourself and handed it in ?

  • 05.26.2011 12:57 AM PDT


Posted by: Richomack360...Instead of creating a story about a character involved in making the report why not instead make the whole book an actual report - kind of like a massive Halsey's Journal ? AS if you had wrote the report yourself and handed it in ?



This is a really interesting, yet easy way to tell a story. I've delved into it a few times myself and even though I have all the story telling skills of a daffodil I was impressed with the results.


Good idea you have however several things need to be adressed.
Grammer, punctuation and spelling need fixing. If you end up doing it as an in-universe report I would suggest screening it 3 or 4 times though multiple proof readers.
It also needs to be reworded to sound more "professional". Right now it doesn't read as though it an ONI agent has written it.

Random tip of the day:
Write a list of problems that need adressing and accompanying facts. Expand, solve and link to other problems. This will not only make writing it simpler but will naturally fall into a logical order of events and prevent too much repetition.

  • 05.26.2011 1:52 AM PDT

Bungie Pentathlon - who actually cares ?


Posted by: RotaryCookie
Random tip of the day:
Write a list of problems that need adressing and accompanying facts. Expand, solve and link to other problems. This will not only make writing it simpler but will naturally fall into a logical order of events and prevent too much repetition.


Why can't my wife do this ?


This is a really interesting, yet easy way to tell a story. I've delved into it a few times myself and even though I have all the story telling skills of a daffodil I was impressed with the results.


Indeed, this sort of "story" won't need to much of the bread and butter content such as character development etc - but you would need to be hot on your stats and facts



It also needs to be reworded to sound more "professional".
Right now it doesn't read as though it an ONI agent has written it.


It does if said agent has been bashed around the head by a gravity hammer..jokes



[Edited on 05.26.2011 2:05 AM PDT]

  • 05.26.2011 1:59 AM PDT