- zak2014
- |
- Honorable Member
Not bad for a beginning, but most people like to be able to view it here on the Bnet.
Atrocious lack of commas, and several run-on sentences. Yes it matters, people don't take people seriously with bad grammar. You've got some spelling and "using the right word" errors.
Plot-wise: Meh on the depth scale, but for an intro it's fine.