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This topic has moved here: Subject: [Novel] What do you guys think to the start of my story?
  • Subject: [Novel] What do you guys think to the start of my story?
Subject: [Novel] What do you guys think to the start of my story?

Let the big man do his thing.

Its @ http://www.wattpad.com/1508579-halo-bone-marrow
let me know what you think.

  • 06.12.2011 6:32 PM PDT

Not bad for a beginning, but most people like to be able to view it here on the Bnet.
Atrocious lack of commas, and several run-on sentences. Yes it matters, people don't take people seriously with bad grammar. You've got some spelling and "using the right word" errors.

Plot-wise: Meh on the depth scale, but for an intro it's fine.

  • 06.12.2011 7:02 PM PDT

[url*=http://www.pokecommunity.com/showthread.php?t=167323][i mg*]http://i427.photobucket.com/albums/pp351/Vrai_2/toxicpurp leuserbar.png[/img*][/url*]

Opening few sentences could use some more "PIZZAZZ". Over-dramatize it; hook your reader.

  • 06.12.2011 7:55 PM PDT