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Subject: A Riviting Tale of Courage, Strength and Honor - Marvel at my Brill...
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It's around lunch time and my sister and I were rather hungry, so I decided to grill us up some hamburger patties!

I was outside standing before a firey belching demon of a barbeque. Its flames were licking the soft pink patties, like baby calfs lick the utters of their mother. And by golly, these flames were hungry. Impacient I was, so on high it was set. A furnance of burger-grilling excellence, I cackled madly as these soft pink patties spangled and bubbled their juicy, fatty liquid into the firey grave of coal and heat - because, hey, I'm on a diet.

With the lid of the beast closed tight, I practiced doing handstands in the warm sunlight, burning my hands. All about me seemed to be this perpetual heat. Oh, woe, had only the thought occurred to me of going inside and escaping this tormentuous torment.

I re-opened the lid to the firey tomb when my breath was removed with a wave of heat, smoke, and the stench of burning flesh. The burgers were nearing completion at last. Armed with my spatula and the blessings of my ancestors, I began to peel the circular, greasy, nutritional slabs of meat and turning them over so thast has two fully grilled sides, instead of just one.

But - woe! - the plight and bane of my existance, I had on accident flipped a burger most irregularily! Down it plummeted long-ways up, through the grating and into the pit of charcoal and flame. The beast growled its hungry approval. How careless I was to let such an innocent fall! Woe!

However, I was not about to give up on such a yummy parcel so easily! Grabbing my two-pronged Lance of Vengeance, I plunged both past the grating to lift this victimized meatstuff from the belly of the beast. Balancing it beneath the grating with the spatula, I pieced it limply with the Lance of Vengeance. I realized that if I lifted up I could lift the grating up. Flames licked around me, my flesh began to get hot. Doing a cunning trade-off thing, I inched the patty closer to the edge of the grate. For two minutes I sat there, working my cunning magic. Many a time did the patty look as though it was about to slip back down - and many a time I daringly saved it, only to proceed onward again with more daring and determination. At long last I got it to the edge of the grating - with the Lance of Vengeance I lifted it, and removed the burger.

I was victorious and the day was saved. It was the best burger of my life.

[Edited on 9/1/2004 1:21:36 PM]

  • 09.01.2004 1:19 PM PDT
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Encore! Encore!

  • 09.01.2004 1:21 PM PDT
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long live obbi champion of the burger pattie

  • 09.01.2004 1:21 PM PDT
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I think it should be manditory that such long posts have short summaries at the bottom. Just for lazy SOB's like myself.

  • 09.01.2004 1:22 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
I think it should be manditory that such long posts have short summaries at the bottom. Just for lazy SOB's like myself.


I want to kick you in the jew.

  • 09.01.2004 1:23 PM PDT
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Twas a harrowing tale.....
But if your so sexy then why are you on a diet?

  • 09.01.2004 1:23 PM PDT
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Posted by: Jnice
Twas a harrowing tale.....
But if your so sexy then why are you on a diet?


It's how I keep up my perpetual sexiness.

  • 09.01.2004 1:23 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
I think it should be manditory that such long posts have short summaries at the bottom. Just for lazy SOB's like myself.


You could always eat your feet and hands, and then get the Windows for the Disabled edition that would just read the post aloud to you.

  • 09.01.2004 1:24 PM PDT
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I understand.......so ummm how's the modeling career going?

  • 09.01.2004 1:25 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

Who knew making burgers could be so exciting.

  • 09.01.2004 1:25 PM PDT
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Posted by: Jnice
I understand.......so ummm how's the modeling career going?


Not well. Apparently it's "against the rules" for me to "appear nude" in "pictures" until I'm "18."

  • 09.01.2004 1:26 PM PDT
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Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: GreenChief
I think it should be manditory that such long posts have short summaries at the bottom. Just for lazy SOB's like myself.


I want to kick you in the jew.



Jew kicker!

  • 09.01.2004 1:27 PM PDT
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Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: Jnice
I understand.......so ummm how's the modeling career going?


Not well. Apparently it's "against the rules" for me to "appear nude" in "pictures" until I'm "18."


DAMN! Well I wish the best of luck and I hope Green Chief has a heart attack......maybe he'd read your post if he knew it was about food........

  • 09.01.2004 1:29 PM PDT
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Posted by: Jnice
Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: Jnice
I understand.......so ummm how's the modeling career going?


Not well. Apparently it's "against the rules" for me to "appear nude" in "pictures" until I'm "18."


DAMN! Well I wish the best of luck and I hope Green Chief has a heart attack......maybe he'd read your post if he knew it was about food........


From earlier today, it sounds like he and everyone else in Russia has reason to be too afraid to eat.

  • 09.01.2004 1:32 PM PDT
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I'm strictly a Daddy's Girls reader. Juggz... Bah!

  • 09.01.2004 1:35 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
I'm strictly a Daddy's Girls reader. Juggz... Bah!


I'm sure there are plenty of Russians who are into it though.

  • 09.01.2004 1:37 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
I'm strictly a Daddy's Girls reader. Juggz... Bah!

They must use Mc Donald's avertising.

  • 09.01.2004 1:37 PM PDT
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Can someone please tell me why Jnice is being a dick to me?

  • 09.01.2004 1:40 PM PDT
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That's my job.......to be mean despite my name!

  • 09.01.2004 1:41 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
Can someone please tell me why Jnice is being a dick to me?


Because you're a big -blam!-?

  • 09.01.2004 1:42 PM PDT
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I will not stand for being kicked! It hurts. :(

  • 09.01.2004 1:43 PM PDT
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Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: GreenChief
Can someone please tell me why Jnice is being a dick to me?


Because you're a big -blam!-?

Owned by the sexy -blam!-!

  • 09.01.2004 1:43 PM PDT
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What? -blam!- you, jackass. I don't know what your problem is, but I think you need to calm down.

  • 09.01.2004 1:44 PM PDT
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Posted by: GreenChief
What? -blam!- you, jackass. I don't know what your problem is, but I think you need to calm down.

I think you need to slim down........

  • 09.01.2004 1:44 PM PDT

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