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Subject: *MY* idea for Halo 4's story *LONG READ!*


Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101


The last terminal is current and i suggest you read it.

If you read them properly you would notice they were to get more respect in the covenant or to get out of the covenant. Never were their elites rebellions.

The covenant have extremely good Comms, even in space if they were able to jump to the location they could commune.

IT's just an amateur plot.


the point is that rebellions arent as unlikely as you would like to believe. cause there has been atleast one clear case pointed out in halo 2. and how do you know the brutes in my little "amatuer" story didnt mess with the comms? or that the comms were recieving interference from the forerunner world? and as far as amatuer plots go: you would know wouldnt you ;)


your plot is based around elites doing an uprising to take over the covenant. The covenant was based off the idea of prophets controlling the tech and politics while elites fight, that is it. So your idea of happenings is wrong.

Again you are cocky and this is amateur regardless of what you think. If you want to be serious try taking a class because you have much to improve on not to mention you should know the lore you are writing about.

the rebellion or uprising in my story is centered around brutes attempting to take over the ship, and use the weapons to try and control the covenant themselves. you can keep calling me an amatuer if it helps you sleep at night, but you know its a plausible plot. especially more so than what was seen from the halo 4 trailer. you seem to be the only one who thinks otherwise. so my plot is based around a group of corrupt "brutes" who sought to gain control, using tech on a very distant forerunner world that they found in deep space off pure luck. pleasse learn to read

[Edited on 07.02.2011 10:00 PM PDT]

  • 07.02.2011 9:56 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?


Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101


The last terminal is current and i suggest you read it.

If you read them properly you would notice they were to get more respect in the covenant or to get out of the covenant. Never were their elites rebellions.

The covenant have extremely good Comms, even in space if they were able to jump to the location they could commune.

IT's just an amateur plot.


the point is that rebellions arent as unlikely as you would like to believe. cause there has been atleast one clear case pointed out in halo 2. and how do you know the brutes in my little "amatuer" story didnt mess with the comms? or that the comms were recieving interference from the forerunner world? and as far as amatuer plots go: you would know wouldnt you ;)


your plot is based around elites doing an uprising to take over the covenant. The covenant was based off the idea of prophets controlling the tech and politics while elites fight, that is it. So your idea of happenings is wrong.

Again you are cocky and this is amateur regardless of what you think. If you want to be serious try taking a class because you have much to improve on not to mention you should know the lore you are writing about.


i used the elites as an example dumbass. the rebellion or uprising in my story is centered around brutes attempting to take over the ship, and use the weapons to try and control the covenant themselves. you can keep calling me an amatuer if it helps you sleep at night, but you know its a plausible plot. especially more so than what was seen from the halo 4 trailer. you seem to be the only one who thinks otherwise. so my plot is based around a group of corrupt "brutes" who sought to gain control, using tech on a very distant forerunner world that they found in deep space off pure luck. pleasse learn to read


the person that gave a horrible example calls me a "dumbass" very mature pro writer.

Brutes have been in the covenant for like what around 50 years? they are far to short sighted to even think of something like this let alone have the numbers to pull it off.

this is amateur everything from the writing style from the plot itself. judging from this i would have thought you did the plot for halo reach. Obviously you don't read the books because the new trilogy is about "higher meanings" New trilogy story> old rushed bungie story.

  • 07.02.2011 10:02 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101


The last terminal is current and i suggest you read it.

If you read them properly you would notice they were to get more respect in the covenant or to get out of the covenant. Never were their elites rebellions.

The covenant have extremely good Comms, even in space if they were able to jump to the location they could commune.

IT's just an amateur plot.


the point is that rebellions arent as unlikely as you would like to believe. cause there has been atleast one clear case pointed out in halo 2. and how do you know the brutes in my little "amatuer" story didnt mess with the comms? or that the comms were recieving interference from the forerunner world? and as far as amatuer plots go: you would know wouldnt you ;)


your plot is based around elites doing an uprising to take over the covenant. The covenant was based off the idea of prophets controlling the tech and politics while elites fight, that is it. So your idea of happenings is wrong.

Again you are cocky and this is amateur regardless of what you think. If you want to be serious try taking a class because you have much to improve on not to mention you should know the lore you are writing about.


i used the elites as an example dumbass. the rebellion or uprising in my story is centered around brutes attempting to take over the ship, and use the weapons to try and control the covenant themselves. you can keep calling me an amatuer if it helps you sleep at night, but you know its a plausible plot. especially more so than what was seen from the halo 4 trailer. you seem to be the only one who thinks otherwise. so my plot is based around a group of corrupt "brutes" who sought to gain control, using tech on a very distant forerunner world that they found in deep space off pure luck. pleasse learn to read


the person that gave a horrible example calls me a "dumbass" very mature pro writer.

Brutes have been in the covenant for like what around 50 years? they are far to short sighted to even think of something like this let alone have the numbers to pull it off.

this is amateur everything from the writing style from the plot itself. judging from this i would have thought you did the plot for halo reach. Obviously you don't read the books because the new trilogy is about "higher meanings" New trilogy story> old rushed bungie story.


i bet you talk to yourself in the mirror cause no one else will listen to you. this was a quick summary from what i wrote 2 years ago. or perhaps ypour head is stuck too far up your ass to comprehend that. and the new trilogy is 343's doing. i wrote this 2 years ago -.- so their higher meanings dont mean -blam!- to me. if you think you could do better by all means, go ahead. but you have yet to explain why this doesnt match the lore. i dont see you as a writer for bungie, so how would you even know anything about the brutes. the brutes joined the covenant for power, unless you can give a better reason? again, im all ears

[Edited on 07.02.2011 10:09 PM PDT]

  • 07.02.2011 10:09 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?

You wrote this 2 years ago, haven't updated it whatsoever or posted it when you made it yet expect it to flow well?

Which is exactly why this plot fails, no substance, just another alien fighting alien plot.

I have said several times why it doesn't match lore. Elites are not power hungry, there are no uprisings to control the covenant, and (new one) the brutes "joined" because they were submitted into the covenant they didn't join for power.

  • 07.02.2011 10:14 PM PDT

Don't -blam!- with Kerser!

You said group about 1000 times.

  • 07.02.2011 10:15 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101
You wrote this 2 years ago, haven't updated it whatsoever or posted it when you made it yet expect it to flow well?

Which is exactly why this plot fails, no substance, just another alien fighting alien plot.

I have said several times why it doesn't match lore. Elites are not power hungry, there are no uprisings to control the covenant, and (new one) the brutes "joined" because they were submitted into the covenant they didn't join for power.


oh my god.... i never -blam!- said the elites were the ones trying to take over!! i might have wrongly refrenced the events of the halo 3, but its the brutes who are power hungry. why else would the brutes go through all the trouble to push out the elites from their postions as the favorites, if not to gain more power? never once in my story does it say elites try to gain control of the forerunner tech -.- it was brutes! plus i wrote this after finishing halo 3 several times. and as far as substance goes: would it be preferred for the chief to fight a rock? or a mushroom? that might be a healthy change of pace for you -.-

  • 07.02.2011 10:19 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?


Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101
You wrote this 2 years ago, haven't updated it whatsoever or posted it when you made it yet expect it to flow well?

Which is exactly why this plot fails, no substance, just another alien fighting alien plot.

I have said several times why it doesn't match lore. Elites are not power hungry, there are no uprisings to control the covenant, and (new one) the brutes "joined" because they were submitted into the covenant they didn't join for power.


oh my god.... i never -blam!- said the elites were the ones trying to take over!! i might have wrongly refrenced the events of the halo 3, but its the brutes who are power hungry. why else would the brutes go through all the trouble to push out the elites from their postions as the favorites, if not to gain more power? never once in my story does it say elites try to gain control of the forerunner tech -.- it was brutes! plus i wrote this after finishing halo 3 several times. and as far as substance goes: would it be preferred for the chief to fight a rock? or a mushroom? that might be a healthy change of pace for you -.-


It was truth that told the brutes to do all that they didn't just randomly do it, did you pay attention during halo 2?

substance as in this does not compare. sure there is fighting but i wouldn't see much to talk about, seems like a CoD plot

  • 07.02.2011 10:24 PM PDT

Tre BEAST.

i thought it was a good story,

  • 07.02.2011 10:30 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101
You wrote this 2 years ago, haven't updated it whatsoever or posted it when you made it yet expect it to flow well?

Which is exactly why this plot fails, no substance, just another alien fighting alien plot.

I have said several times why it doesn't match lore. Elites are not power hungry, there are no uprisings to control the covenant, and (new one) the brutes "joined" because they were submitted into the covenant they didn't join for power.


oh my god.... i never -blam!- said the elites were the ones trying to take over!! i might have wrongly refrenced the events of the halo 3, but its the brutes who are power hungry. why else would the brutes go through all the trouble to push out the elites from their postions as the favorites, if not to gain more power? never once in my story does it say elites try to gain control of the forerunner tech -.- it was brutes! plus i wrote this after finishing halo 3 several times. and as far as substance goes: would it be preferred for the chief to fight a rock? or a mushroom? that might be a healthy change of pace for you -.-


It was truth that told the brutes to do all that they didn't just randomly do it, did you pay attention during halo 2?

substance as in this does not compare. sure there is fighting but i wouldn't see much to talk about, seems like a CoD plot


you seem to be incapable of believing that the brutes could have their own motivations for wanting the elites gone. they arent just mindless drones. they wanted power, and this was their chance. you just seem deadset against me to the end. perhaps your angry?

  • 07.02.2011 10:35 PM PDT

thanks :) another person who thought my idea was good

  • 07.02.2011 10:36 PM PDT

Tre BEAST.

and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts

  • 07.02.2011 10:37 PM PDT


Posted by: trebrek
and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts


i cited this too, but he doesnt think it to be credible enough for some reason

  • 07.02.2011 10:41 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?


Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: trebrek
and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts


i cited this too, but he doesnt think it to be credible enough for some reason


What elite "rebellion" are you referring to? and in your story you said uprising.

  • 07.02.2011 10:48 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: trebrek
and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts


i cited this too, but he doesnt think it to be credible enough for some reason


What elite "rebellion" are you referring to? and in your story you said uprising.


do you remember the heretics in halo 2 at all? you know, the ones claiming the prophets are speaking lies? and then you play as the arbiter attempting to kill them.... ring any bells? also in my story is a minor failed brute led uprising.... on a ship in deep space.....which is just apart of my story.

[Edited on 07.02.2011 10:53 PM PDT]

  • 07.02.2011 10:52 PM PDT

yas334229812

your story is good although i wouldnt choose that as my story. mine would be more based on forerunner flood and precurser. covie may rarely and even human rarely will be in this game.

  • 07.02.2011 10:56 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?


Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: trebrek
and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts


i cited this too, but he doesnt think it to be credible enough for some reason


What elite "rebellion" are you referring to? and in your story you said uprising.


do you remember the heretics in halo 2 at all? you know, the ones claiming the prophets are speaking lies? and then you play as the arbiter attempting to kill them.... ring any bells? also in my story is a minor failed brute led uprising.... on a ship in deep space.....which is just apart of my story.


that was not a rebellion though.

The brutes were suppose to completely wipe out the elite leadership and kill many as they could.

The elites then left the covenant.

A rebellion is-
Open, armed, and organized resistance to a constituted government.
An act or a show of defiance toward an authority or established convention.

They did not wake up on day and decide to rebel, they got attack in which they left.

  • 07.02.2011 10:57 PM PDT

yas334229812

plus whats the fighting for there was a rebellion among the elites. also all members of a species dont follow a stereotypical view. each member is individual. read about the elites that kill the spartans in headhunters. if you look at the heretics in the game the heretic grunts never panicked i believe. they were stronger not your typical covie grunt.

anyway good story. although not of my taste. im more of a cryptum guy.

  • 07.02.2011 10:59 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: grey101

Posted by: DethMerchant

Posted by: trebrek
and also @grey101, there where elite rebellions lmao, the heretics ! learn your facts


i cited this too, but he doesnt think it to be credible enough for some reason


What elite "rebellion" are you referring to? and in your story you said uprising.


do you remember the heretics in halo 2 at all? you know, the ones claiming the prophets are speaking lies? and then you play as the arbiter attempting to kill them.... ring any bells? also in my story is a minor failed brute led uprising.... on a ship in deep space.....which is just apart of my story.


that was not a rebellion though.

The brutes were suppose to completely wipe out the elite leadership and kill many as they could.

The elites then left the covenant.

A rebellion is-
Open, armed, and organized resistance to a constituted government.
An act or a show of defiance toward an authority or established convention.

They did not wake up on day and decide to rebel, they got attack in which they left.


so you are saying that the heretics werent armed, open, or organized? they were armed, which is why we were fighting them in the first place. and they were open and organized against the government, in this case: the lying prophets, who as you yourself said controlled the politics.

  • 07.02.2011 11:05 PM PDT


Posted by: risay_117
plus whats the fighting for there was a rebellion among the elites. also all members of a species dont follow a stereotypical view. each member is individual. read about the elites that kill the spartans in headhunters. if you look at the heretics in the game the heretic grunts never panicked i believe. they were stronger not your typical covie grunt.

anyway good story. although not of my taste. im more of a cryptum guy.


thanks for the input :)

  • 07.02.2011 11:06 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?

There weren't any of that (and never became organized) truth orchestrated everything and took them by complete surprise. They acted in retaliation not rebellion.

  • 07.02.2011 11:09 PM PDT


Posted by: grey101
There weren't any of that (and never became organized) truth orchestrated everything and took them by complete surprise. They acted in retaliation not rebellion.


how can they retaliate against something if they werent even organized as you say? that was rebellion, as the heretics got their info straight from 343 guilty spark. i never saw or read anything about truth orchestrating anything other than his own rise to power, and the cover up of humanity's relation to the forerunners

  • 07.02.2011 11:14 PM PDT

KIWIZ RULE THE WORLD!

Its just that nobody knows it yet...

Great read but game play would be horrible...

  • 07.02.2011 11:16 PM PDT


Posted by: PH0T0Nman
Great read but game play would be horrible...


that all depends on who makes it. remember there are flood, and cortana does have conrtol of the planet, so she could use all sorts of new forerunner tech against the player, if this was halo 4

[Edited on 07.02.2011 11:22 PM PDT]

  • 07.02.2011 11:18 PM PDT

The Forerunner, the Great Journey, and Heaven Theory

[Announcement Trailer] Halo: Forerunner

Posted by: Agustus
I lol'd at the absurd miscommunication that occurs whenever dibbs post something. Perhaps his brain is so highly evolved that he can no longer clearly communicate with lesser life forms, even among his own species.

From a writing perspective, it shows promise. Things aren't just happening, but there is a clear cause and effect designed to advance the plot in a meaningful way. The overall story is relatively uninspired, but it's clear that you know how to construct one so that it makes sense.

You say that this is only a small part of what you wrote, so it really is pointless to critique right now. I suggest you work harder on the story, flesh out the details, and get rethink some plot points (Flood vaccination is kinda weak - they are supposed to be a timeless foe; an eternal enemy. Besides if you kill it will the equivalent of medication, there is no grand final battle to be had. Cortana going rampant and attacking them I just dislike because it too closely mirrors Mendicant's story - we've already seen it). After you do this, post the story in the Gallery where it belongs. You probably won't get many replies, but the ones you do will most likely be worth it (also don't bump your story like a needy child if you don't get a reply within 10 minutes)

As for the petty little argument you and Grey were having...

Rebellions have happened numerous times within the Covenant. You have Tartarus overthrowing his uncle to gain leadership of the Brutes in Contact Harvest, the Heretics in Halo 2, finally the Elites themselves in Halo 3. The Covenant, throughout it's existence was an organization ready to implode (it was based on conquering and a caste system), and the OP's reasoning behind the uprising on the ship (desire for power) is a sufficient enough explanation.

  • 07.02.2011 11:26 PM PDT
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Posted by: DecepticonCobra

We are all going to get banned aren't we?

I never heard him mention the heretics until now, he was talking about halo 2, which was more of the brutes trying to wipe them out than them personally rebelling.

  • 07.02.2011 11:28 PM PDT

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