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Subject: My Halo YouTube Series, can I have feedback?

Hi guys, I'm starting an amateur Halo YouTube series and I just wanted to get some publicity.

Part 1 is really bad, I'm going to warn you now. The later ones are much better according to some people who have seen them already.

You can check out the trailer here.

Thanks guys. =)

Part 1 of 4

Part 2 of 4

Part 3 of 4

Part 4 of 4

[Edited on 08.04.2011 2:42 PM PDT]

  • 07.20.2011 11:18 AM PDT
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1. elites cant have human guns
2. why does everyone stand around and hold the trigger and not really fight
3.ummm yeah about that

  • 07.20.2011 11:34 AM PDT
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I accidently used the wrong Xbox Live Gamertag on this, oh well :P
My real gamertag is jcgerrard8, if you want to play with me then send me a message :)

Part one is terrible.....

Have you seen Arby N Chief? Some of the battle scenes in it are pretty sick......

My advice is to learn from your mistakes and watch some other Machinima's and.

  • 07.20.2011 11:37 AM PDT

Arby N Chief is made with action figures, so I don't see how it could compare that with a machinima...?

Anyways, thanks for the feedback. :)

  • 07.20.2011 12:02 PM PDT

"Find where the liar hides, so that I may place my boot between his gums!" - Rtas 'Vadum

Posted by: dudeman7883
1. elites cant have human guns

They can. An Elite used one in the novel The Flood, and Thel 'Vadamee recommended it just before Halo 2.

[Edited on 07.20.2011 12:11 PM PDT]

  • 07.20.2011 12:11 PM PDT
  • gamertag: Fin
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"but you already knew that, I mean, how couldn't you?

Only when no Human brick is left atop another, shall we be satisfied with your destruction.

Hmm, you might want to put this in the Gallery instead of the universe forum, that said I took a wee look.

First off, I know making machinima is HARD, and takes a lot of practice to get right. I don't want to come off as harsh, but I'm going to be honest.

This is supposed to be a humour machinema yeah? Good humour is pretty hard to do, roosterteeth have popularised it, but they are very very good at what they do.

Your main issues are as follows:

Script: No offense, but the current one isn't great, any machinema is trying to tell a story (funny, serious, or completely off-the-wall). You have to make sure you have a good script going in, if your scrip isn't good all the best voice acting, and the most impressive camerawork/effects/acting/epic music in the world won't make it interesting.

Music: Don't overuse it, unless you are making a music video, the music should be background, and not detract from what's going on. Long sequences with just music (eg the flying bit) ruin any form of narrative flow and to be honest just end up feeling like filler there to pad the time out.

Oh Christmas Tree... Umm, doesn't work, I guess it's supposed to be there for humour, but it just comes off as weird(er) and all the spartans waiting for santa.... yeah, doesn't really work I'm afraid.

Slo mo + music: This should be used *very* rarely and only last a short time, you'd need to work on making the slo-mo look smoother as well, but that comes down to practice so isn't a flaw per se.

Action/battle sequence: Action must flow this is your main problem in this area, having people standing still shooting for a couple of minutes ends up being a bit boring, you don't want to bore your audience! Keep things moving.

Avatar control/voice acting: Needs work, this will get better with practice, try getting different people to voice the different characters as well. Mostly this is just something that you will get better at with practice, try to keep your characters doing something, not just standing rooted to the spot.


All in all, could be better, but I've seen worse.
You need to practice your character control, voice acting, and camerawork a bit more, but that just takes time.
Try not to overuse editing, music, or long drawn out sequences, and do a bit of a rewrite on your script.

  • 07.20.2011 12:32 PM PDT

Hmm, you might want to put this in the Gallery instead of the universe forum, that said I took a wee look.

Yeah, I probably should have done that. Sorry.

Thanks for the feedback though. :)

  • 07.20.2011 4:38 PM PDT

Ok, seeing as this is the first time I've really reviewed a machinima since m.com took down the forums, I'm going to be brutaly honest...

Story: There was really nothing of intrest here, a bunch of people fight, go somewhere for the holidays, wish for weapons, get them, the end.
This holds no intrest, most comedies don't have strong stories, but even this was week.

Voice acting: Get voice actors, never voice act without audio manipulation for more then 3 charecters, unless you are a good voice actor (which I'm sorry to say, from that, your not). Look around online, you should be able to find forums with people intrested quite quickly.

Body acting: I can't really comment here, seeing as this was just a silly video, you can't really expect to find good body acting. Try to seperate things more between local and online, lowering your weapons for talking sessions, this is essentialy halo machinima 101.

Music: I heard alot of copyrighted music in there, see if you can find someone who is willing to do custom scores for you, i advise heavily against using copy righted music from personal experiance. (plus years of experiance in the machinima comunity)

cinematography: use static shots rather them moving shots, moving shots make it seem messy in anything but a chaotic enviroment, and even then, everything needs to be chosen well, slow pans being the most movement normaly.

What worked and what didn't: The christmas tree didn't work well, that went on for far too long, perhapse having 'oh christmas tree' in the background whilse the charecters talked would of worked better.
I didn't get a feel for any of the charecters, they just seemed like random ideots.
Over all, everything seemed very last minuet choice, from what happens, to whats said, to the camera.

I'll give this a 2/10 think things through more, take your time, make it something that people would want to watch, not find painful watching.

On a side note, shorten your trailers length in the future, 4 minuets is lengthy, aim for 2:30 minuets max ish, only the best trailers can keep you intrested for a length of time, but even then, shortening helps alot more. For inspiration, look at things such as the Halo Legacy trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLEfPYcDiG8&feature=relmfu

  • 07.20.2011 4:40 PM PDT
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Posted by: Adam429
Arby N Chief is made with action figures, so I don't see how it could compare that with a machinima...?

Anyways, thanks for the feedback. :)

You've obviously never even watched it then. 75% of the episodes is when they're playing in-game.

  • 07.20.2011 5:17 PM PDT

Cammalamm is the best.

External Links-
>My Photobucket page
>My Twitter account

sorry butt its pretty bad.

go whatch a how to make a good video.
not to be mean.

  • 07.20.2011 5:29 PM PDT

"I'm afraid of the man I'll become if I lay my life down for the people I don't even care for"

First of all I think this should be in the gallery forum....

And sorry man, I know it's difficult to make these things but it kinda sucks....

EDIT: I watched part one, I don't mean to be mean but I kind a did vomit my organs. Voice acting was horrible, you need a new mike, and the slow motion hornet landing. REALLY?

[Edited on 07.20.2011 5:45 PM PDT]

  • 07.20.2011 5:43 PM PDT

Thanks for the feedback guys. One question though, this is a 4 part series and Part 2 is pretty much ready to be uploaded. How long should I wait in-between videos to upload the next part?

  • 07.21.2011 8:36 AM PDT
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I accidently used the wrong Xbox Live Gamertag on this, oh well :P
My real gamertag is jcgerrard8, if you want to play with me then send me a message :)


Posted by: Adam429
Arby N Chief is made with action figures, so I don't see how it could compare that with a machinima...?

Anyways, thanks for the feedback. :)


Not entirely, there are scenes where we can see them playing the xbox and some fight scenes are aweosome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9256Mvc46s&feature=relate d

watch from 6:00 and 10:36, then you will see what I am talking about.

[Edited on 07.21.2011 2:21 PM PDT]

  • 07.21.2011 2:14 PM PDT
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"Time was your ally human. But now it has abandoned you. The Forerunners....have returned. And this tomb... is now yours". - The Didact


Posted by: jcgerrard8

Posted by: Adam429
Arby N Chief is made with action figures, so I don't see how it could compare that with a machinima...?

Anyways, thanks for the feedback. :)


Not entirely, there are scenes where we can see them playing the xbox and some fight scenes are aweosome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9256Mvc46s&feature=relate d

watch from 6:00 and 10:36, then you will see what I am talking about.


And their recent fight in the new season against that Hacker clan

@OP

Just use the feedback given to you in this thread and you will be fine.I don't know if this is your first one but people learn from their mistakes and improve.

Good luck with your future videos!

  • 07.21.2011 2:22 PM PDT

Vengeance only leads to an ongoing cycle of hatred.


Posted by: Adam429
Arby N Chief is made with action figures, so I don't see how it could compare that with a machinima...?


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  • 07.21.2011 11:03 PM PDT

Stupid ass washing machine...

I've left a comment on your Youtube as Joethepo123. Hope you find it useful.

Posted by: Adam429
Thanks for the feedback guys. One question though, this is a 4 part series and Part 2 is pretty much ready to be uploaded. How long should I wait in-between videos to upload the next part?


Erm... don't. Just, don't upload the next one. As you can see here, we're all pretty much unanimous that part one was godawful, but we've given you some great tips. The best thing to do with them is scrap this series, and spend a good month or two, maybe longer, working on an interesting script, creating or hiring musical talent, hiring actors and practicing your editing.

Just please don't upload the next one.

[Edited on 07.21.2011 11:27 PM PDT]

  • 07.21.2011 11:27 PM PDT

Sorry but I could not stand that

  • 07.22.2011 2:00 AM PDT

Part 2 is up. Link.

  • 07.24.2011 1:07 PM PDT

You want to see a good Machinima series? Wait, BRILLIANT Machinima Series? Watch:

The Forgotten Spartans by Darknal. It has gone up to Episode 9 so far, and it's probably the best Halo 3 Machinimas I've ever seen.

This isn't a Machinima under the genre of humour, but maybe you could improvise from Darknal. Watch 'em!

Edit: Also, sorry, I don't mean to be offensive, but I couldn't stand Episode 1 of your series, but this is where you learn from your mistakes, so consider what we say to you and there should be improvements.

[Edited on 07.24.2011 2:27 PM PDT]

  • 07.24.2011 2:24 PM PDT

Edit: Also, sorry, I don't mean to be offensive, but I couldn't stand Episode 1 of your series, but this is where you learn from your mistakes, so consider what we say to you and there should be improvements.

Parts 2, 3, and 4 are much better than the first part.

  • 07.25.2011 9:40 AM PDT

A few things:

The camera work is hard to withstand. Panning endlessly got tiring, and still shots just were obvious and hard to look at. Never--and I mean never--do still shots. They can ruin a viewer's attention as soon as they see it, especially if there is an action to suggest the still shot is supposed to be, well, not still, like having dialogue.

The dialogue in these videos could've been a lot better if more effort was put into the voice acting. It's surprising, really, how a few words can have two totally different impacts on the listener if one is just saying the words in different accents, and one is actually applying the character, behavior, and emotion where needed. Along with this, there is a huge problem with breathing into the mic. Unless your purposefully wanting to talk into the listener's ear (which you never want to do, mind you), it just doesn't sound natural. My suggestions: Consider getting a new studio microphone to record with, or try not talking directly or so close into your current microphone.

- Side note: I did not even realize this was supposed to be a comedy. I was under the impression during the viewing of the videos that it was supposed to have a serious tone with odd plot twists. Only after reading comments here did I notice.

Next, the video quality. Yea, I know, a good capture card is expensive, so I don't want to drive that point too hard. However, it seems you are using more than one capture method for your videos. At times I see images are somewhat clearer than other, and then your still shots are just blurry. I'm not for sure what capture method you use, but the video method is the obvious superior method. Along with this, don't use that video editor software you're using, which seems like it's Window Movie Maker. It's terrible, and superior software is not that expensive to obtain. Sony Vegas is only $70 from what I understand, however I use Adobe Premier CS5.

Lastly, music. If there's one thing I can't stand about what people do with music in videos, it's either 1) cutting a song in the middle to replace it with a completely different song, or 2) Using songs from various bands at different times during the song just as filler, especially if the music doesn't fit the aesthetics of the scene. Consistantly, you totally wrecked any mood you may have been wanting to set with a scene by just adding some song that you probably enjoy hearing from your iTunes, or Window Media Player, or whatever, but never the less, it absolutely wrecked the scene more often than not. It got old just to see Spartans and Elites firing at each other for 3 minutes while some random song played in the background.

Take note that most of those songs you used is technically infringing upon copyright, in which if any recording company stumbled upon your video and notice that you used their music without their permission (lets be honest, who ever gets permission?), then they have every right to claim copyright on your video, and ultimately get it removed. All of your effort, would be for absolutely nothing.

Oh wait, I lied, this is the last thing. The acting, or as the term used for acting in a Machinima would be "puppeteering", is basically nonexistent with the exception of firing a weapon, strafing, occasionally dying, and occasionally driving a vehicle. Nothing exactly stunning. It kind of goes without saying that it'd be more interesting to watch if the Spartans and Elites did more.

Here's a quick list of things that can be done to help even further, but don't require much explanation:
* Don't clutter scenes with vehicles or weapons just because you may use them at some point. It makes sets look odd when an Elite runs away because he is outnumbered...when two tanks are just sitting there on his way out.
* You may have had a character explain it, but seeing that Elephant flying through the air minutes after it exploded just didn't seem right.
* Don't drag on scenes with slow-mo. It loses its dramatic effect after about 5 to 10 seconds.
* Don't have a scene be dictated by the length of a song unless you actually have content to fill that scene with other than just looping 3 to 4 shots over and over again. Remember, it is okay to fade out the music if you need to, just don't cut it abruptly unless it fits
* Get more voice actors. I'm sure some of your friends want to help. If they don't, use audio editing software (like Audacity, which is free) to manipulate your voice to not sound like your own.


Really, I don't think that you're not trying, otherwise I would have not put so much effort into typing this up. You certainly seem like you want to do this, which is really the first and most important thing any director needs: a passion. Now you just need to add some more effort into it. Remember, your video doesn't have to be 10 minutes long to be good. Trim off the fat, make combat scenes shorter and to the point, turn off the constant slow-mo, and don't just loop scenes if you don't have to. Your videos would probably be much more enjoyable if they were on average half as long as they are.

If you want to look into getting new hardware, I'd like to point out what I use to create the Machinimas that I am involved in.

For video recording purposes, I use the Happauge HD PVR external capture device, which works on both Mac and PC, and allows 1080i component capture. It works wonderfully for quality, and even records in a native h.264 format; one of the best formats to upload to Youtube and use on video software applications. This capture card runs at around $200 on Amazon though, so it requires some savings and dedication.

For audio, I use the Blue Yeti studio mic. It allows bidirectional recording, which means two voices from two sides of the mic can be recorded and played back on the proper left or right of the speaker spectrum. On top of this, it has a different options for different situations, from close range speech to long range stereo instrument recording. Though I never use the instrument part, vocals sound quite fantastic and clear. I got this pic for $150 during an Amazon sale, but it appears to be running for $230 currently on Amazon. Still though, if you feel like going the extra mile...

If you want to see this gear in action, here's the latest Machinima I am involved in, Boundless. It's the second episode, and the first we use the Yeti in. The footage looks fantastic in 1080i.

Anyways, I hope you take at least some of this advice into consideration, and I bid you good luck!

[Edited on 07.25.2011 10:56 AM PDT]

  • 07.25.2011 10:51 AM PDT

Thanks for all the detailed feedback, once again. Part 3 is up, now on Reach! Link!

Thank you all once again! :)

[Edited on 07.28.2011 7:55 PM PDT]

  • 07.28.2011 5:52 PM PDT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0IgpP4a7wg

Part 3 had to be re-uploaded because the video wasn't working for some people. Enjoy!

  • 07.28.2011 7:56 PM PDT

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