- Centauratron
- |
- Exalted Heroic Member
Half Man.
Half Horse.
Half Machine.
All "Jerk Who's Really Bad at Math."
PS
No, I do not want to join your clan/group.
How Exactly the membership ranks work
Ever seen them do the lottery on television, with the little balls? Yeah, it's like that; all of our names are inscribed on little ping pong balls and are randomly drawn to receive a new rank (which is also determined randomly).
I hear Stosh in in charge of this process so if you have any complaints, you know who to blame.
how Moderators are truly chosen
Bungie has their own version of the infamous Ninja Warrior course that hopefuls must run through. Those who make it to the end then have to battle each other to the death in true ninja fashion, and the last man standing will be allowed to join the ranks of the Forum Ninjas.
Master forum ninjas, of course, were grandmaster ninja assassins in a former life. This has been verified by many intensive sessions with psychics, professional dream analyzers, psychologists, a Ouijia board, and a magic 8 ball.
and what happens when they are chosen
Chosen to compete? Oh, they're all giddy at first until they see the obstacle course and then start to feel ill.
When they finally defeat all other challengers to claim their place in the ranks of Forum Ninjas? They have to get branded, like cattle, with various Bungie insignia. It's very painful.
And what about the Bungie webcam pictures? I feel like every time I check in on them, I'm teased like the fat kid on the playground.
Working as intended.
Or maybe how the Employees got their titles here on B.Net? Why is Stosh, Stosh? etc.
Why are you you? Why am I me?
Better question is 'why does Stosh hate toast?'
My theory has to do with Powdered Toast Man and band camp, but I'd rather not mention it all here in case I'm right and bring back horrible, painful memories that might drive Stosh mad and make him go on a psychotic rampage through the studios.
Hell, we'd never find out what Destiny really is then, would we?
And why exactly, does Bungie want to take over the world?
Why wouldn't they? It's there...so ripe, so fragile, so utterly in need of a ruthless iron fist clamped around it so tightly that the oceans drip out into space and hot molten goo is forced onto the surface to bake and boil the general populace alive, forcing the survivors to offer up beautiful, scantily-clad women as tribute to the fist...wait, what was I saying again?
Oh yeah.
Everyone wants to rule the world.
Or destroy it.
Be glad Bungie falls into the former category rather than the latter.
[Edited on 08.31.2011 10:03 PM PDT]