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Subject: Halo: The True Path [FANFIC]

There seems to be a large amount of 'fanfic's circulating around this forum recently, so I feared I picked the wrong time to write.

I'll post my fanfic anyway, see if it receives attention, then see where to go with this.

Summary

Twenty years after the conclusion of Halo, and the quest of the Master Chief to destroy the flood, a new era erupts. The Sangheili have paid their reparations and recolonization of the 'glassed' planets begin.

But they are not the only races who have benefited from the end of the Pyrrhic 'Great War'. The Jiralhanae have once again risen to power, through means unknown. And they have Sangheilios in their sights.

They begin to attack Ancora, the Sangheili's 'Reach', a heavily populated and industrial world.

Even special strike teams of Sangheili cannot turn the tide of the sudden war. This leaves the Imperial Admiral with a shameful, but necessary choice. One that has less odds of happening than winning on their own, but he has to try.

He has to ask the Humans for help.


[Edited on 09.08.2011 1:36 PM PDT]

  • 09.08.2011 1:35 PM PDT

Prologue

August 2571

Aboard the Super-Carrier 'Valiant Guardian'

Eidos Epsilon System (Human Designation)




"Greetings SPARTANs, have a seat"

The four members of the newly re-instated Red Team milled into the purple room. They sat a rectangular table, where there were large chairs furnished with green. The SPARTANs shifted uncomfortably in their seats, they were clearly designed for Sangheili.

As the SPARTANs gazed around the room, there was a sense of uncertainty in the atmosphere, a real aura of dread. It wasn't helped by the fact half of the lights were turned off.

There were many consoles with bright flashing holograms, containing writings in an alien language. Their gaze came to rest on a large chair in the centre on the room, floating a few inches above the metal floor lit indigo by lights.

A heavily armoured figure sat in the chair. The main source of light for the surprisingly desolate control room originated from behind the chair. The SPARTANs saw the figure as a dark silhouette, with shadings of light purple around the edges. The armour it wore gave off blue sparks of energy that streaked across the chest plate every so often.

"I hope you are aware of our situation." The creature stood up and paced around the room. As it neared one of the consoles, it lightly touched one of the holograms, causing it to shine brighter.

The SPARTANs' collective focus was still on the alien.

They were able to make out dark brown skin under a golden faceplate. Instead of a mouth, there were four mandibles protruding from an ellipsoid-shaped head. The insides of these mandibles were dark pink and lined with sharp, carnivorous teeth.

Its finger swayed to the side, dragging the hologram with it. The creature then proceeded to read the contents of the file concealed behind it. A look of exasperation flickered across its face before it regained its composure.

It turned around and looked at the SPARTANs.

"We are losing." The creature turned its head away from the SPARTANs, forcing itself to look away from their slightly shocked and confused faces.

A Sangheili, and one in a rather high position of power, just admitted it were losing. The SPARTANs were not used to hearing this incredibly honour-bound species even think about failure, never mind confessing in front of Humans.

'That bad?' thought Joshua-029, leader of Red Team.

"They would never admit it, the ones fighting on the battlefields, but their foolishness blinds them."

The alien used a small step to safely sit back down on the floating chair.

"But I have been in many situations where the order to retreat was too much for the young ones under my command. They always stayed to fight, claimed they could hold the enemy at bay. They were looking for glory. And what good is glory and honour to a dead body?"

The SPARTANs just stared at the creature. Joshua was unsure whether their culture harboured rhetorical questions. He assumed they did as the creature began talking again, although in a different tone.

"I, Imperial Admiral of the Sangheili, know that my comrades need allies if we are to protect this planet and its innocents." The Sangheili raised its arm and pointed at the SPARTANs with a stubby finger. The finger was much larger than its Human counterpart, and seemed to be covered in thicker, darker skin than the alien's face.

"You are Legends among the Humans, and Demons among the Covenant. Your media claims a single SPARTAN is an even match for a whole legion of Covenant." It paused before adding,
"I can see why, because I personally fought alongside the best of your kind during the final days of the Covenant"

The Sangheili stood up once more, but this time looking much more pitiful. Its head hanged low, and its limbs were loose. Its left hand only contained three of the usual four fingers. This Sangheili had definitely had its fair share of combat.

"Now the damned Brutes seek nothing but revenge." It looked into Joshua's eyes, searching for some sign of helpfulness.

"They attack our colonies with renowned vigour, decimating our troops. I know we have wronged you in the past, but we were blinded by the traitorous Prophets. And as you Humans say, two wrongs do not make a right. I sincerely hope you will think about this."

The door opened with a small whooshing noise. Everyone in the room turned to see a heavily built man in a black suit. Two silver emblems were emblazoned on his shoulder: the naval insignia of Captain and the iconic eye inside a pyramid that stood for ONI. Heavy wrinkles of fatigue lined his forehead; his eyes were dark in colour and had lost their twinkle during what must have been many years of active duty.

"What do we get out of it?" His voice was deep and gruff, and sounded as if it was hardly used.

'Glass cup to door?' thought Colin-G-180 to himself, a small smile upon his lips.

"Whatever you need" Answered the Elite, looking at the man through weary eyes.

"Anything?"

"Yes, but..."

The Captain turned towards the SPARTANs. Effectively stopping the Sangheili who thought he might finally gain something out of this.

Andrew Wilson scratched the back of his neck, apparently deep in his thinking.

"I'll have to talk to the brass about lettin' you four go for a couple of days, and as for your end of the bargain Mr Imperial Admiral," He pronounced the words 'imperial admiral' slowly, almost spitting the words out forcefully "I think I know what they'll be wantin'."

"I shall be awaiting your reply." The Elite looked on as the five humans found their feet and left the large room. The Imperial Admiral was once again left alone, to wallow in his own despair.

'If they help us get back Ancora, the councillors might pardon me' He thought, 'Or, they need not find out.'

  • 09.08.2011 1:57 PM PDT

Thank God for CAVX's unicode thingamajig.

  • 09.08.2011 1:59 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

Seems pretty interesting so far.

Just a word of advice, though, Elites only have two fingers on each hand.

[Edited on 09.08.2011 4:42 PM PDT]

  • 09.08.2011 4:41 PM PDT

Good length. Good summary. Few grammatical and canon errors. Now... Time to read the prologue.


Oh... right, About the Spartan IIs. There was 33 of them 'still alive' and the other survivors went into rehab. They were... 'least crippled.'

I checked the list on 'halo-nation'. Which is basically a Halo Dictionary. Or something along that line.

All of the spartans were dead.Except for... Blue Team. Red Team. And MC.

And those... Spartans Threes. From Gamma Company.

[Edited on 09.08.2011 6:59 PM PDT]

  • 09.08.2011 6:54 PM PDT

No u


Posted by: The Anti Troller
Good length. Good summary. Few grammatical and canon errors. Now... Time to read the prologue.


Oh... right, About the Spartan IIs. There was 33 of them 'still alive' and the other survivors went into rehab. They were... 'least crippled.'

I checked the list on 'halo-nation'. Which is basically a Halo Dictionary. Or something along that line.

All of the spartans were dead.Except for... Blue Team. Red Team. And MC.

And those... Spartans Threes. From Gamma Company.


I thought you were an Anti troller you bastard. Go troll somewhere else and let the the man make his fan fic. Besides, what if these Spartans were crippled and were fixed up like black team?

OT: Good story OP. Keep it up.

  • 09.08.2011 7:13 PM PDT


Posted by: OfTheBloodguard
Seems pretty interesting so far.

Just a word of advice, though, Elites only have two fingers on each hand.


Really? I'm sure I've seen them with two fingers and two 'thumbs'.

Yep (click here)

[Edited on 09.09.2011 12:24 AM PDT]

  • 09.09.2011 12:14 AM PDT


Posted by: The Anti Troller
Good length. Good summary. Few grammatical and canon errors. Now... Time to read the prologue.


Oh... right, About the Spartan IIs. There was 33 of them 'still alive' and the other survivors went into rehab. They were... 'least crippled.'

I checked the list on 'halo-nation'. Which is basically a Halo Dictionary. Or something along that line.

All of the spartans were dead.Except for... Blue Team. Red Team. And MC.

And those... Spartans Threes. From Gamma Company.



There is one SPARTAN II and three SPARTAN IIIs.

For the SPARTAN II, some were actually MIA. And yes, the SPARTAN III's are from Gamma Company.

More will be revealed in time.

[Edited on 09.09.2011 12:19 AM PDT]

  • 09.09.2011 12:18 AM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!


Posted by: sqarkplugz

Posted by: OfTheBloodguard
Seems pretty interesting so far.

Just a word of advice, though, Elites only have two fingers on each hand.


Really? I'm sure I've seen them with two fingers and two 'thumbs'.

Yep (click here)
*looks at Halopedia*

Well, it would seem you're right. I feel silly now...

[Edited on 09.09.2011 3:26 AM PDT]

  • 09.09.2011 3:25 AM PDT

Shameless plug for my blog:

Check it!

For the most part, I enjoyed it and I think it is a great idea for a fanfic, the alliance between the two species really needs to be explored further.

A few small issues I had though

The four members of the newly re-instated Red Team milled into the purple room. They sat a rectangular table, where there were large chairs furnished with green. The SPARTANs shifted uncomfortably in their seats, they were clearly designed for Sangheili.

As the SPARTANs gazed around the room, there was a sense of uncertainty in the atmosphere, a real aura of dread. It wasn't helped by the fact half of the lights were turned off.


The way the SPARTANs are depicted here feels wrong; 'milling', 'gazed' 'shifted uncomfortably'. SPARTANs are always wired to attention and I think especially in this circumstance, if they don't know what to expect they should already be going through every circumstance in their heads. More stoic, military movements and reactions would fit better here.

Also, your writing is very casual, this may just be your style and may fit the fiction perfectly, not sure yet; but using the terms 'a real aura of dread' and 'the fact that half the lights were turned off' sounds more like casual dialogue than descriptive writing. It conflicts with your other decriptive parts though, so watch that.

Apart from those small things, mainly in the first paragraph, I enjoyed it and I hope to see more very soon!

Posted by: sqarkplugz
Thank God for CAVX's unicode thingamajig.


Also, this is the truest sentence ever written. When I wrote mine up and remembered this annoying problem I had to search the internetz to find the converter...saved my little story from 'cbf' disease.

  • 09.09.2011 7:34 AM PDT

Thanks for the review Sparbiter, unfortunately I have always written like this.

I'm trying to keep this story light, but sometimes I can't help divulging into over-describing things. If that does occur, please let me know.

Or maybe you like lots of descriptive writing, and would prefer me to concentrate on that aspect more closely.

Anyway onto the next chapter. Please bear in mind that this was written up to chapter 6, over four months ago. Left for dead, then resuscitated as I got bored over the summer. I won't always be able to update so soon.

  • 09.09.2011 9:58 AM PDT

Entry


August 2571

Hanger Bay of the Corvette 'Constant Integrity'

Slipspace



"Well I think they deserve what they get"

The four SPARTANs of Red Team had adorned their full MLONIR VII armour, and were performing routine checks on the suits' internal systems.

""Why are you so inconsiderate sometimes? Think about all the pain we suffered, do you want another species to go through it as well" Lora G-284 was the sniper of the group. She was one of the more sympathetic members of the team.

The SPARTANs had been ordered to kit up and await briefing, but their ONI handler Captain Wilson was on a different ship.

"When the species in question are the ones responsible for our pains...then I think so yeah"

Lora spun around and stared at Colin. He pretended he couldn't see her and carried on walking straight ahead. Before she could reply to Colin's remark, Captain Wilson radioed in to them.

"Red Team?" The Captain's steely voice came through their in-helmet speakers.

"Yes, sir" hailed Joshua in response. The rest of the team stopped and listened closely, this was as close to intelligence they would be getting.

"I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the super-carrier and I can't make my way down to the hanger where your Corvette is, but the mission parameters haven't changed. However, someone else will brief you, from Earth"

A bout of murmuring broke through the SPARTAN IIIs. Joshua held up a hand to his more, eccentric teammates. They immediately stopped.

"SPARTANs, Lord Hood here. I shall provide your mission briefing personally, through hologram." He coughed quietly; he was old and was starting to show signs of tiredness more often than usual. He was expected to step down and retire any time now.

Lora quickly took out her datapad and held it out for the entire team to see. Rear Admiral Hood appeared as a miniature representation. He was wearing his white dress uniform, slightly tinted blue by the hologram. He looked quite uncomfortable and his grey hair was thinning out. He clasped his hands behind his back and began to talk, his authoritative tone untainted by age.

"As you should all know, the Elites have been having some little trouble with the Brutes, once again might I add. It started off as small raids on their furthermost colonies, but now they have targeted a main hub world, one with certain importance."

"I know that the Elites should have had no problem dealing with the Brutes, but they can't even hold them back. Something's seriously wrong. We believe that whoever is leading them has certainly done their homework. We are going to drop you behind the lines, and hopefully without them knowing your arrival, you are going to locate and eradicate the Brute Supreme Commander. Understood?"

"Yes sir," The SPARTANs answered in unison.

"You will be joined by a small strike team of Elite Commandoes; if all goes well, this could be the start of a powerful alliance with the Elites. You are the last surviving members of the best Humanity has to offer. Try to avoid engagements and be as covert as possible"

"I'm sorry I couldn't arrive in person, but we're going to have to prepare for the inevitable too. Good luck."

And with that, the hologram link cut off. Another bout of murmuring erupted between the SPARTAN IIIs.

Joshua caught some harsh words about 'stupid Elites' and 'don't need their help', before a Sangheili wearing the dark blue, distinctive helmet of flight armour addressed them from about twenty yards away.

"Demons! This way!" It sounded like it was growling rather than talking.

Joshua turned around and signaled for his team to follow it, sighing to himself.

Then he turned his own datapad on.

"Are they out of earshot?"

"Yes sir, what was it that you wanted to talk about?"

Hood allowed himself to smirk.

"I doubted you would miss my hand signal."

Joshua nodded his acknowledgement. Hood continued. "I'll cut to the chase Captain. You must have been wondering why you have something as precious as an smart AI on your presence. It is ONI's doing, not mine. But they would never do anything that isn't deemed necessary."

Hood crossed his arms across his chest. "Since you can't really hide something like an AI, you're gonna have to lie to your team."

He relaxed, perhaps the most difficult part of the explaining had passed. "You are to tell them that it is a basic AI, that will act as your technician, helping you to access locked areas in your search and destroy. It will serve this assignment. But here is the part you can't reveal to anyone, especially the Elites."

He leaned in closer to Joshua, almost to the edge. His voice dropped to a whisper. "During your mission, the AI will locate and point out any terminals that connect directly to the Sangheili Info-net. If you can, get to the terminal and let the AI do her work. However, the mission is still first priority and you must not let this obstruct your primary objectives."

Joshua nodded once.

"Is that clear Captain?"

Joshua moved the datapad to his other hand then swiftly saluted.

"Yes sir!"

The aging admiral returned the gesture. "Good. I wish you well, Hood out."

Joshua put his datapad back into its holder and jogged to rejoin his team.

He wasn't entirely satisfied with the team he had been given, they seemed to be specially selected and separated from the rest of their kin.

A select group of three individuals. He smiled to himself, they were essentially Grey Team, version 2.

He hadn't had the chance to work with them previously, but he was sure they were as capable as any SPARTAN. Now he was expected to lie to them.

Joshua was brought back to the present by noticing the subtly disguised limp of the Elite pilot. Even still, it walked faster than his sauntering SPARTAN III's and he caught up easily.

He looked around, there wasn't much activity in this hanger; four or five minor Elites were overlooking groups of Huragok engineers who were repairing some vehicles. Joshua presumed it was a repair bay.

They all turned to stare, rather rudely, as the SPARTANs walked past, obviously bored with their presumably tedious tasks.

They would probably be busier after a battle.

They reached the Phantom just as the Elite pilot entered and turned its engines on. The green Phantom rose into the air by at least ten meters. The initial shriek of the ignition turned into a gentle hum as the gravity lift glowed bright purple, ushering the SPARTANs inside.

They all stepped into the lift, one after the other.

Joshua noted the utterly unique feeling of weightlessness whilst travelling upwards, as he was pulled into the Phantom's troop bay. It was empty except for three Elites sitting down on the port side of the dropship.

They turned their heads towards the SPARTANs, and one of them nodded at Joshua.

Joshua nodded back at the Elite. It was wearing sleek, jet-black armour, the telltale sign of a spec-ops commando. It was nothing unusual, it was...average. The Elite on the left however, was a full head taller than its brethren.

The Elite on the right was weird too. Its chest width was considerably larger, and its limbs seemed very muscular. He would be a considerable match for any Brute. It wore the fully enclosed 'assault' variant helmet and looked at him through two slits of green light.

Those Elites must be joining them on their search for the Supreme Commander of the Jiralhanae.

He motioned for the team to sit down while he made his way to the cockpit.

There he saw the pilot sat down at the driver's seat, pressing some symbols that popped up every so often. SPARTANs and ODSTs (and later Marine regulars) received extra training that allowed them to effectively fly and drive Covenant vehicles.

Joshua was pretty certain that he could drive that Phantom in an emergency, but he had no idea what all of the symbols meant.

The pilot noticed the SPARTAN looking over its shoulder and chuckled. Or rather tried to. It only succeeded in making a sound close to clearing its throat while clicking its bottom two mandibles.

"I am only performing pre-flight checks Demon, there is no need to be worried" It continued to press the holographic buttons, before turning its head towards Joshua.

"All of the cloaking systems are in perfect working order, the Brutes, as you say, will not know what hit them."

"Speaking of the Brutes, where exactly are we headed?" Joshua couldn't resist asking, intel was low on this mission.

"Ancora is our one of our more industrial worlds. The factories down there create most of the weapons, armour and technology issued to the front lines"

There was a small, but noticeable shift in acceleration. Joshua felt like he was going to throw up, inside his helmet too. Wouldn't be pretty.

"We have exited slipspace. The Constant Integrity will exit the Guardian, and pass over a high orbit around the dark of the planet. We are to pick up supplies then head to possible hideouts."

Joshua nodded and left the cockpit. He joined his SPARTANs, seated on a small bench on the opposite side of the Elites.

[Edited on 09.09.2011 1:47 PM PDT]

  • 09.09.2011 11:00 AM PDT

Most of the journey was pretty uneventful, to the extent that the most exciting part of the flight was the tall elite coughing.

Joshua was then, predictably, startled when a deep voice crackled through speakers allocated in the corners of the troop bay.

"Fifteen seconds until we land on Ancora", the pilot announced over the comm.

Joshua wondered what he meant, because Phantoms didn't actually land during drops or extractions. He was surprised at the answer.

The starboard doors opened to reveal they were actually inside some sort of large air-pad. There were at least a dozen spotless Spirit dropships lined up towards the back. Most likely for the base's evacuation purposes.

The part that intrigued him the most was that two more lightly armoured Sangheili climbed aboard, carrying some large crates. They dropped one on the middle of the floor and two near the feet of Red Team. Then they exited almost as quickly as they entered.

The Phantom rose into the air, and the doors slowly started to shut.

The crates were a dark shamrock green, with gray symbols imprinted on the topmost side. Unusual for Elite hardware, there were hinges on the corners of the written side, implying that it could be opened. The broad Elite stood up and dragged one over towards his superior.

The SPARTANs just stared at the crates while the Elites opened theirs. It was filled to the brim with an assortment of weapons and gadgets.

The Elite that had nodded to Joshua before speaking up, "They are for you. We thought that Human weapons might not be sufficient."

"Huh. As I recall, we managed to kick your collective asses with them just fine." Colin stated bluntly.

Joshua coughed at Colin.

Picking up on the hint, he stood up and crouched beside one of the crates.

"But err..thanks all the same."

The Elites didn't react violently as Joshua had expected, but the one who had spoke merely nodded again, slightly more solemnly this time.

Colin lifted the top off slightly. He saw lines of plasma power cells and three Plasma Rifles. He threw the cover over and picked up three power cells, placing them on a magnetic plate on his thigh. Then he traded his M7 sub-machine gun for one of the Plasma Rifles. Pleased with the barter, he sat back down on the bench.

The tall elite laughed, a low rumble that heaved its chest.

Joshua then searched through the second crate.

He replaced some of his fragmentation grenades for some of the more useful plasma grenades, attaching them carefully to his thigh. But he stuck to his M6G Magnum and BR55 Battle Rifle.

He had first picked one up near the end of the 'Battle of Earth', and decided the three-burst rifle was the best all-round weapon he had ever used, even surpassing his favour of the M392 Designated Marksman Rifle.

He had then requisitioned for one afterwards, and it had been his primary weapon since.

Vidar G-287 picked up Colin's M7, he then placed it on his left thigh, opposite the one already one his right. But they were only his secondary weapons. His primary was also a Battle Rifle that was holstered on his back.

Lora however, did not exchange anything. She was happy with her modified 99D-S2 Anti-Material Sniper Rifle and her M6 Magnum. Besides, the only weapons left were some Plasma Pistols and a Needle Rifle.

Why use something else, when you have the ideal weapons? Ones that you have trained with for the entirety of your life?

The rest of the SPARTANs joined Lora on the small ledge that served as a bench.

Then the Phantom's engines went silent.

They had entered Brute controlled air-space.

[Edited on 09.09.2011 1:24 PM PDT]

  • 09.09.2011 11:01 AM PDT

^^^^Was the last chapter even read?

Anyway...

2: Touchdown

August 2571
Ancora
Approaching Lake Razelm


The Phantom flew for a further six minutes. Using active camouflage, especially on such a large moving object, did have its drawbacks. They had travelled at a considerably slower speed since they entered Brute airspace.

The insertion was as uneventful as they had hoped.

Using the gravity lift would need most of the power to be rerouted, so that wasn't an option. The Phantom hovered at around twenty-five feet, and it occupants had to jump through the troop bay doors.

To an outsider, it would look as if they had just appeared out of nowhere.

As soon as four SPARTANs and the three Elites hit the floor, the pilot wished them well and took off.

Joshua walked over to the Elites, catching the eye of the tall one. It nudged its superior who was inserting a fresh canister of ammunition into his Type-51 Carbine. The Elite looked up slightly to face Joshua.

"Orders?" Joshua said simply.

"We have traced communication data to two possible places where the Brute Supreme Commander could be. There is a small, disused mining facility north of our location, we shall be searching there."

It pointed towards some forestation that covered the base of a mountain.

The Elite nodded at the three SPARTANs behind Joshua. "You and the rest of your team shall head towards the outskirts of Kant, near the west side of Lake Razelm. There are some research labs and a small village that have recently been evacuated. Brutes are apparently asking for commands from both locations."

Joshua nodded.

"We will drop contact. As soon as either team sees significant Brute presence, or if their locations are clear, they are to inform the other." It attached its weapon onto its back and stooped to pick up a plasma pistol.

"Vath Th'som, our pilot, will hail us when he has arrived for extraction. We will receive at least four hours."

"Thanks for the information...err..."

"I am N'tho Sraom, Special Operations Officer of the Combined Fleet of Retribution"

"Joshua. SPARTAN zero-two-nine."

"I wish you well, or as the Humans say, good hunting."

N'tho nodded and turned around to face his comrades, both of whom were finished with all their pre-combat checks. He spoke something in his own language, and to his response the three Elites vanished into thin air, apparently activating their active camouflage.

"Elites seem to be fond of human idioms."Joshua thought, and smiled to himself.

Then he too turned around and walked over to his team, who were also finished with their checks.

He relayed the information to his fellow SPARTANs.

"The village is fourteen klicks in that direction. We have four hours until extraction, get movin'."


****************


N'tho Sraom and his team hiked uphill carefully through the sparse trees surrounding the base of a solitary mountain. The inhabitants of the nearby village of Kant had named it Valvur, which translated neatly into Bastion.

The name was apt, for without the mountain, the village wouldn't exist.

Valvur overlooked the lake and the village, and at a convenient point on the horizon. During the summer, the mornings were sheltered from the intense heat of sun by Valvur. During the spring and heart of the growing season, the mountain provided water. The large glacier on its peak was the source for the river that the villagers had dammed.

If the Sangheili living in Kant were some sort of ancient tribal species, who knew nothing about the Forerunners, they would have probably worshipped the mountain.
Suddenly, the gentle incline ended and there was a sheer rock face.

"Landslide" thought N'tho.

The entrance to the mine was on the nearly perpendicular point where the rock face and hill met. It was blocked by two grey doors that opened horizontally. Each door was twice the height of N'tho and over five times as wide.

N'tho signalled his two comrades to pull the doors open, before realising he was invisible. He activated the team radio. He walked over to the doors.

"Help me pull the doors open, I doubt they can withstand our might"
He and the wide Sangheili forcefully pried the doors open, while another took point.
"Del, search inside"

N'tho saw the air in front of him briefly quiver as the tall Sangheili made his way into the dark complex.

The miners who used to live in Kant had found a large deposit of raw metals within Valvur. The mountain's supply soon ran out as the small colony world grew into the important commercial hub it was today. The miners had long since abandoned the facility and moved on.

It would be easily defensible from the inside if it was indeed full of Brutes. The plentiful smooth ramps and sharp corners could be used as effective chokepoints. They would have no chance if the Brutes were well equipped. But if they remained unseen however, maybe they could turn it into a clean assassination mission.

"The...irst floor...clear" Del's voice came crackling through the comm. He must have ventured deep, for the voice flickered with static.

"Move up, remain silent" N'tho and the broad-shouldered Sangheili by the name of Ison, moved into the mine with weapons at the ready. The room was indeed empty.

It was a huge room that was large as the hanger on the Valiant Guardian. It was completely bare except for the various pillars that supported the room. The grey, rocky walls were covered in a thick green moss that thinned out the further it progressed into the dark. The floor was laden with an uneven layer of dust. The lights were off and the entrance provided little light, so the Sangheili switched to their thermographic vision.

"The only source of heat comes from that terminal"

N'tho turned to see a white figure point towards another. The other was Del, and his head was down, focused only on what the terminal had to offer. The terminal was a slightly lighter blue than the background, but it was getting brighter as Del powered it up.

"These doors are locked from the inside. The override is somewhat encrypted, but it will take me no time"

"That means someone must be inside" said Ison; his smooth, deep voice still unnerving N'tho. Even after four years of service together.

N'tho heard Del mutter something about 'Human expressions' and 'Sherlock's faeces', before he announced he had finished.

A pair of large doors opened beside Del with a sharp grinding noise. They seemed to be identical to the doors that led outside.

Del took cover behind the rusting metal that was the terminal, as an incredible blinding light shone through the gap, forcing the other Sangheili to hide behind the pillars and avert their eyes.

N'tho glanced at his motion sensor and saw two red dots get closer towards his friend.

"Del! Move, it is a Brute trap!" he shouted into the midst, his impaired vision slowly recovering. He turned off his heat vision, the light was overwhelming.

He heard the distinct sound of Spiker Rifle fire as he got to his feet. Stepping out from the pillar, he vaguely saw two figures clad in reflective silver drag the unmistakable body of Del into the depths of the mine. Del's body was limp.

He growled and charged into the next room, shooting at the Brutes. The Brutes were not surprised to see him, and returned fire with almost flawless accuracy. His shields failed under the sudden strain and N'tho ducked backed outside, recovering behind a doorframe. The doors began to close as Ison appeared. He was only able to let loose a few rounds of plasma before the doors finally came together, locking with a dull thump.

N'tho quickly checked Del's team bio signal, it was almost flat-lined. He detected the weak thump of one heart, the other had stopped.

"Open this door now! We don't have much time!"

Ison ran over to the terminal while N'tho tried to force the large doors open. He roared with effort, until his arms began to ache. Whilst the same length and height, these doors were at least three times as thick as the main ones outside. Even Sangheili, with their double set of pectoral muscles, couldn't force these doors open.

"The encryption is back up again! I do not have the necessary equipment to break through. It remains with Del."

N'tho took out a plasma grenade and carefully examined the door. There were no exposed hinges or anything that might suggest a structural weakness. He stood back and placed a plasma grenade on the crevice where the two doors met. He activated it and stepped back to a safe distance.

Few seconds later, the grenade detonated, sending a wave of heat and small amounts of molten metal into the room. The metal bounced off the Sangheili's shields harmlessly, but there was nothing more than a 5 inch crater on the doors.

N'tho shook his head and let his shoulders fall; this was obviously a heavy blast door, designed to contain explosions. The raw materials excavated were probably volatile or highly flammable. He looked sideways at Ison.

The prominent swordfighter, and close combat specialist of the team, remained as impassive as ever. Ison's eyes sparkled briefly, he had an idea.

"We should contact the Demons, ask for assistance. They have an Oracle."

"Yes," said N'tho "Yes, their construct should be able to open the doors."

N'tho turned around and headed outside, where the reception was a lot better. He wasn't in the mood to talk directly, so he sent a short message.

'Brutes took one of my warriors. Need AI assistance. Please make haste!'

[Edited on 09.12.2011 3:26 PM PDT]

  • 09.12.2011 3:23 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

Posted by: sqarkplugz
^^^^Was the last chapter even read?
Don't worry, it was. As was your second one.

  • 09.12.2011 11:27 PM PDT

Shameless plug for my blog:

Check it!

Interesting chapter. Your action sequences are quite well written, but I think some character development is in order. Write some brief backstory for your characters either as you introduce them or during the chapter, so that we can feel for them when something happens to them; as with Del. I wasn't sure who he was and had to double check when he was captured.

Also, the Covenant didn't think of AIs as 'Oracles', that is what they called 343 Guilty Spark and Mendicant Bias, the Covenant use AIs as well remember.

  • 09.13.2011 3:27 PM PDT

The only salesman that sells Assassinations.

I recommend checking out GROUP Im in. It's dedicated to all FanFic. We post, read, and talk all about our stories. If you're interested I'll post a link

  • 09.13.2011 4:09 PM PDT

Yes, character development isn't my best point. But I try.

I remember that the Covenant were forbidden from using AI, since they learnt of Mendicant Bias's treachery.

And in the book 'Contact Harvest', I'm sure the Covenant luminary marks Sif and Mack as oracles, though it wasn't explained in the book.

This is why all the Covenant races, past and present, call smart AIs 'oracles'.

However, my assumptions could be completely wrong.


[Edited on 09.15.2011 12:39 PM PDT]

  • 09.14.2011 9:22 AM PDT

ha ha nasa

Give me the link and I'll check it out.

[Edited on 09.14.2011 9:25 AM PDT]

  • 09.14.2011 9:23 AM PDT

3: Rescue

August 2571
Ancora
Lake Razelm


Red Team crested a hill, and finally caught sight of Lake Razelm.

The river from Mt Valvur rolled around the mountain and weaved through countless spurs, before ending up in the lake. It looked like a partially unravelled ball of blue yarn. Between the lake and the SPARTANs was a dusty plateau, with a rocky mesa jutting out of the ground at uneven angles, and several canyons etched into the ground.

"Damn, it didn't look this far from inside the Phantom." Colin grunted, barely able to make out the glittering turquoise waters of the distant lake. He craned his neck and saw that the lake stretched for on for miles on either side. The left side went past the horizon, the right side was the river that went to the mountain. As his eyes scanned the lake, he saw some blocks of what appeared to be houses.

"You didn't say that we're going to a village, did you sir?" he asked Joshua, already dreading the answer.

"I did, why?"

"Cos it's on the other side of the lake."

"Then we'll go around, it's a lake isn't it?"

"Not really..."

"What? Why isn't...." Joshua trailed off as he too saw that the lake stretched on for miles on either side. Much more of an extremely wide river than a typical lake. "No wonder they went to the mine."

"Well, I ain't swimming today" He shook his head, there had to be another way.

"Red One! Scout out ahead; find another way across the lake. Use your camo, stay hidden and watch out for Brutes."

"I have done this before you know," Lora replied. Her armour shimmered, before she was enveloped with transparency.

"Not here you haven't" Joshua briefly flicked on his thermographic camera, and saw footprints that glowed white against the red rock.

This was the Covenant's active camouflage's only flaw. They would be perfectly invisible to the naked eye, but would light up a thermal imaging camera like a firework.

Human had active camouflage that carried all the heat of the user, and released it into the ground. From a distance, even thermal imaging cameras couldn't make out the user. The irony was that humans had reverse-engineered the technology from captured Elite Combat Harnesses. And then when the official treaty was made between the two species, and technology shared, the Elites also updated their systems with the idea.

Joshua approached Vidar, who seemed particularly content with his new armament.

During the Phantom journey, he had asked the Elites if he could 'borrow' a Type-42 Directed Energy Weapon. He had seen its elongated barrel protruding from their crate, seemingly unwanted by them.

Desiring no need for such a weapon on a stealth mission, the Elites had wholeheartedly agreed.
The Type 42 Plasma Cannon was less powerful than the more recent Type 52s that were attached to the Phantom, but it was a lot more compact and didn't hinder mobility as much. The weapon was a dark shade of green, as most Sangheili ordinance, and was essentially a much larger version of their fundamental weapon, the plasma rifle.

Vidar now possessed four weapons; including his dual M7 Sub-machine guns stuck to the outside of his thighs, and the battle rifle on his back. Joshua assumed the plasma cannon was to be dropped in an overwhelming situation.

Vidar caught Joshua staring at plasma cannon, and laughed hoarsely.

Weeks ago, Joshua first thought that the SPARTAN had tuned his helmets speakers to deliver that harsh voice, but no.

His voice had always sounded like that, as if he had a constant sore throat. Vidar's thyroid augmentations had had some side-effect, and probably caused some permanent damage to his larynx. He seldom talked, never mind laughed.

Joshua guessed it must have been his lucky day, before Colin spotted something and instinctively levelled his plasma rifle.

"Multiple contacts up ahead. Four Minors, one Ultra"

Joshua briskly jogged forward, stopping before Colin. Then he saw the Brutes. They were walking nonchalantly towards the lake; great hairy paws flying up and down, trying to make a point. They were obviously in a deep discussion.

Joshua immediately contacted Lora, astounded at how she had missed the patrol.

"Lora?" He waited for a reply as Vidar caught up, setting his plasma cannon down and resting his hands upon his hips. "Red One, please respond."

"This is Red One responding. Red Leader?"

"We have five contacts below the ridge. You see 'em?"

"Negative. I'm already at the lake."

"What..." He choked on his sentence and coughed. "Already? Hmm... Make your way back, as soon as the first Brute falls, you are to engage"

A quick series of shots, guerrilla warfare type, should take out the Brutes. He activated TEAMCOM.

"Colin? You engage directly, aim to disrupt their formation. Vidar? You and I will find higher ground and provide suppressing fire. Lora will flank and finish."

"Copy that, sir" the three replies came simultaneously.

Joshua ran up the hill overlooking the small valley that provided a direct line of fire on the unsuspecting Brutes below. He saw Vidar heft the plasma cannon and trace his steps, he would be much more suited to the role. But where he had to expose his whole body to fire, Joshua only had to reveal his BR over the edge.

Colin ran straight at the pack of meandering Brutes, making a beeline for the rear guard. When he was around fifty meters away, he slowed down and reached for a plasma grenade. He lifted his arm and waited.

"On my mark," Joshua went prone, his crosshair landed upon a Brute's ugly, bald head. He was mere milliseconds away from pressing the trigger when a sharp beep coursed through his armour.

"I have received a message from the Sangheili, it is on the E-band" a calm, female voice told him. "Shall I present it on screen?"

The voice belonged to Hysi, the AI assigned to Red Team. Hysi was a sixth-generation 'smart AI'. She sounded Scandinavian and her accent deepened when using more processing power. In times of nearly zero activity - such as now - she sounded eerily calm.

"Go on"

His mission objectives were replaced by the message: 'Brutes took one of my warriors. Need AI assistance. Please make haste!'

Hysi's miniature figure in the corner of Joshua's HUD put its hands on its hips. "I like it when I'm wanted"

Caught between a frown and a laugh, shook his head and opened TEAMCOM.

"Mark", he had to deal with these Brutes first.

He saw the plasma grenade fly upwards, aimed at the centre of the patrol. Just before it landed, he squeezed the trigger.

The Brute jerked its head to the side from the blow, and its shields flared. The rest of the Brutes reacted with a growl and spotted Colin. With impeccable timing, the grenade exploded, draining the shields of three Brutes. Joshua shot his target again, and caught without shields, the anti-material bullets pierced clean through its skull.

Two loud cracks rang out, and the other two Brutes dropped. The Ultra turned around to face the new threat and sprayed plasma wildly in Lora's direction.

Joshua looked up to see Lora's camo flicker as she caught some shots to her chest. She ducked, and the curvature of the valley blocked the rest of the plasma.

Its plasma rifle overheated, and the Ultra rolled behind a boulder. In doing so, it unknowingly presented its back to Vidar, who unleashed a hail of plasma. The plasma quickly caused its shields to fail, and Joshua shot it once in the head. It fell without a sound. The remaining Brute went berserk and threw its Spiker Rifle at Colin, then charged at him.

Lora shot it twice in quick succession. However, the impact of the first shot forced the Brute's head down, and the second shot sailed overhead.

Colin stepped back to avoid a massive fist. Then he took a step to the side and shoved his plasma rifle into the bewildered alien's face, destroying it's already damaged shields. As the Brute reeled back, the SPARTAN melted its face off with a few rounds of plasma. The Brute fell onto its back, missing half a head.

Joshua stood up and observed the carnage.

"Colin and Lora, tidy up this area. There are probably more patrols and this mess'll blow our cover." He pressed something on his gauntlet's mini datapad. "And Hysi? Give everyone the message."

"Done"

He glanced at Vidar in time to see him shake his head.

"How did they get caught? I thought they were invisible."

Joshua shrugged. "That's all I got"
________________________________________



[Edited on 09.21.2011 3:34 PM PDT]

  • 09.21.2011 3:32 PM PDT

The SPARTANs doubled timed it back to the mine, weaving in and out of trees.

Colin was by far the fastest of the four and was already talking to the Elites when Joshua came up to the door.

"We're here, what happened?" He asked. Colin turned to face Joshua and walked up to him.

"They say they were ambushed by two Brutes when they tried to go inside. The Brutes shot and took one of the Elites. One of his hearts has experienced an SCA, and he is unconscious." He pointed to a terminal embedded in the ground. "They needed something to bypass the firewalls on the security terminal, so they called us."

Joshua walked over to the terminal and observed it.

"Hysi?"

"Yes sir?"

"There aren't any ports, can you find any wireless connections?"

"Yes, permission to go aboard?"

"Open the door. And you might want to leave a sub-routine in the system to open further doors and to check surveillance."

"On it."

The doors opened, and the Joshua saw the Elites crouch down and take point. The adjacent room was actually a corridor, and it was empty. Purple blood left a trail from the terminal into the depths of the corridor.

"All surveillance systems were disabled. I can't see anything. The encryption used here was far more complex than the usual Brute tech. Something...seems wrong"

"Like what?" Joshua saw the two Elites follow the blood trail. Colin turned around and pointed at himself, then the Elites. Joshua shook his head.

"As soon as I break through a firewall; another, more complicated one immediately pops ups. It's like I'm being tested."

He saw Colin visibly wilt. "Another AI?"

"Probably not, but I can't make direct contact." Hysi's Scandinavian brogue was deepening significantly. "It seems pretty powerful"

"Get out of there, now"

"Not as powerful as me though"

"Now!"

Joshua shivered as the brief freezing effect took place when Hysi reluctantly returned to his armour. She resided in the gel/crystal layers between his underlay and the metal plates, helping to quicken his already incredible reflexes.

"I could have easily beaten a first generation Brute AI. You've got to let me try."

"No, I can't afford to lose you. Perhaps once the mission is over I'll le..."

"Your choice" She interrupted, "But if it were up to me, I'd want it over and done with"

Joshua didn't want to spend time arguing with an AI when one of his allies was literally bleeding out. They needed Hysi in this mission.

Joshua called his team forward, they needed to talk.

[Edited on 09.21.2011 3:34 PM PDT]

  • 09.21.2011 3:33 PM PDT

Pushed off the page by irrelevant posts.

tut-tut-tut...

4: 'Feelings'

August 2571

Ancora

Abandoned Mining Facility



Hysi was in a bad mood.

All AIs loved the 'feeling' of absorbing information. Barely six months old, Hysi had revelled at the possibility of getting terabytes of previously unknown data.

There were vast amounts of data mere millimetres from her grasp, if only she could have gotten past the firewalls. Now she was inside Joshua's armour with nothing to do. He had said to her that he needed to have a short talk with his team.

'Short?!' she had thought, a few minutes for humans was an agonisingly long time for AIs.

She quickly grew bored and decided to do something. She reached into her core memory and replayed the video of her first meeting with Admiral Hansen. It was in the HIGHCOM facility located underneath the mega-city of Sydney, where she was created.

It was a semi-circular room with no visible windows or doors. The walls consisted of ivory coloured diamond tiles that interlocked, forming the illusion of a stripy pattern. It was completely bare except for the pictures that hung, strewn across the wall in a random way.

There was a dark wooden table on the far side, it was crescent shaped. In the centre of the room was a silver hologram pedestal, Hysi automatically created her figure on it.

She had chosen a slender figure with wavy golden hair, in which a purple hair-band kept her fringe at bay. She wore a basic T-shirt imprinted with the ONI insignia, and blue denim jeans. She saw the Admiral in his neatly pressed uniform and quickly regretted her casual appearance.

"Hysi, UNSC Artificial Intelligence serial number HYS 0997-1."

"Admiral Hansen" She saluted weakly.

"I shall get straight to the point. There is a lot for me to do today." He walked to the back of the table.

"As the first member of your generation, you have been given a choice of two missions." He picked up some papers from his desk. "Either One: You can assist the leading Cruiser in the shakedown run of our brand new Battle Group. Or Two: Aid SPARTAN Red Team in their effort to push back the Brutes on the Sangheili fronts."

The first choice immediately appeared bland to Hysi. Checking ship schematics were too easy.

Working with the legendary 'Bastions of Humanity' however...

"I think I'll take option two sir"

"Thought you might. But don't underestimate Battle Group Phenomena. They are the utmost in technology humans have ever created. And to such an extent that I will be commanding them personally. But you have made your decision, SPARTANs it is."


Now though, she wasn't so sure it was a good idea. She thought Joshua was being overprotective and generally not giving her enough to do. And she still had the small gnawing feeling in the back of her 'mind', she wanted to find out what Admiral Hansen had said by "utmost in technology".

She had always thought that smart AIs were at the peak of Humanity's technology tree. A frigate with higher technology must have been quite the asset. But a whole Battle Group?

She was brought out of her thoughts by the feeling of Joshua setting off into the corridor.

"I thought you said you had nothing to do."

Hysi was amazed he had noticed the minuscule difference in reaction time. She had forgot to leave a sub-routine to carry his nervous impulses to the armour, she felt ashamed.

"I was bored, so I dug into my memory. It's your fault for not giving me anything to do"

"Well you have a job now"

"Which is?"

"I need you to keep a lookout on the infra-red range, see if anything is hiding behind doors. And keep an ear out for any transmissions. I've told the team to keep radio silence, who knows what the other AI can do"

"Oooh, that'll keep me occupied!" she said in the most sarcastic tone she could manage.
The remark earned her a chuckle from Joshua, before even he became nervous of what lied ahead.

They trekked into the heart of the beast.


********


N'tho had not waited for the Humans. He had begun to venture into the mine before the doors even opened properly. Ison was at his side before he requested him. He felt proud; his comrade would follow him to the depths of the underworld before questioning him.

He grunted. It certainly felt like that in here.

The corridor gently widened and sloped downwards. He could have easily driven a Wraith tank down the corridor, with plenty of space to fit two Ghosts on either side. Near the very end, the blood trail shifted towards the left, and led into a door. N'tho signalled for Ison to take point in front, while he prepared to kick the door down. A heavy hand rested on his left shoulder.

His training kicked in and he swivelled on his right heel. He prepared to punch his attacker in the face, before coming face to face with one of the SPARTANs. He relaxed and his fist fell to his side. He clicked his mandibles in confusion.

"What?"

"Do you know what's though that door?"

"My dying friend" N'tho shook off the SPARTANs hand and turned back to face the door.

"What if it's another trap? I mean think about it. They wouldn't just let the blood lead us to them, it must have a purpose"

"Then what do you suggest?" N'tho twisted his head to look at the SPARTAN, having eyes in the side of your head was useful sometimes. "Time is not on our side here"

"Wait until the Captain gets here, Hysi could help"

"Whom?"

"Hysi, the AI?"

"Ah... But what could your construct see that we cannot?"

"Heavy lead doors. Our cameras aren't powerful enough"

Joshua arrived in time to see Lora and N'tho having a talk. He walked up to the Sangheili Spec-ops Officer and told him that Hysi could vaguely interpret two figures in the room. One upright, one slumped against the far wall.

"Sire. I shall go inside, use my sword. Make short work of the Brutes who dared to harm our brother!" Ison unsheathed his sword and activated it. Two prongs of blinding light bathed the corridor in a blue hue. As his vision settled, Joshua could see varying shades of blue plasma ripple through the sword. He had to admit, it was by far the most elegant weapon he had laid his eyes on.

"Very well, but be wary. The Brutes have somehow developed brains"

Ison nodded once and began to cut the hinges off the door. N'tho stood there watching, even with two swords by his side.

Joshua understood.

He knew that Sangheili customs said that 'once unsheathed, a weapon demanded blood'. N'tho wasn't the one attacking.

It took a whole 15 seconds before Ison finished. He stood back and kicked the door. The door fell awkwardly on its corners and flipped around twice. Ison brought his sword to bear and ran inside. Joshua and N'tho followed while the rest of the SPARTANs took up defensive positions outside.

The room was barely large enough for two M808B Scorpion Tanks.

Joshua flicked on his flashlight. On the far wall, a Sangheili blinked in reflex to the sudden harsh light. Joshua saw N'tho run over and tend to his wounds. He turned around to see that Ison had disappeared. His sword was on the ground, slowly melting through the floor.

"Hey? You there?"

A Sangheili body limped forward and dropped at Joshua's feet, missing a hand. Another figure emerged from the dark. It had the unmistakable gorilla-like profile of a Jiralhanae. It wore incredibly ornate sliver armour, with intricate carvings and symbols. It wore no helmet; Joshua could see the bald head and glaring teeth that drove the marines to give them the nickname 'Baby Kong'.

  • 09.28.2011 2:26 PM PDT

He dived forward into a roll, picking up the sword on the way. The molten floor took his shields down to almost half. He swung at the Brute.

The sword went clean through the Brute's right shoulder and its armoured arm dropped on the floor with a clang. The Brute roared in pain and threw a punch in the SPARTANs direction with its free hand. Joshua blocked the impact with his arms, but the powerful blow still took his shields out and he flew backwards into a wall.

The Brute ran forward and lifted him up by the neck, before attempting to choke him. With no right hand to punch with, it kneed him in the stomach. The armour took most of the damage, but it still hurt like hell.

He saw the Brute prepare for another kick, before its legs gave out. As soon as Joshua was released from its grip, he punched it in the face. It reeled back and opened up its chest for a few barrages of AM rounds from Joshua's Battle Rifle.

The Brute fell on its back, and closed its eyes. There wasn't as much blood as he had expected, he thought it had bled out. He walked over and prodded it with his feet.

When Joshua had dismembered its arm, the wound had been immediately cauterised. But the sword's extreme heat near the Brute's shoulder had caused its neck arteries to explode. It was a miracle that the Brute had had him in a choke and nearly kicked his ribs in.

He walked back over to N'tho.

"Your friend's wounded badly" He pointed to the floor where the Sangheili knelt in a pool of his own blood.

For them, losing blood was like losing honour.

"That's makes two" N'tho slowly got up. "Del's body has taken too much trauma. He will not survive without immediate medical attention."

Del looked up at his Officer and fellow Sangheili. He coughed up lots of purple blood.

"Please...please...spare me my torture" The wounded alien motioned weakly at his plasma pistol on the floor.

The Special Operations Officer looked crestfallen as he picked up the pistol, and aimed it at his friend's bruised head.

"Are you certain? We have plenty of medical facilities in..."

"Yes...please, I...I beg of you"

N'tho closed his eyes and pulled the trigger, a pulse of green plasma hit Del in the forehead region. The Sangheili's fingers relaxed and he slumped against the wall. N'tho crouched down and placed his large hand over Del's head, quietly muttering some words. He then shut Del's eyelids and stood up.

N'tho walked outside, followed by the Joshua and Ison. The SPARTAN IIIs finally relaxed, and walked up to their leader. N'tho spoke up.

"The Brutes have spilt the blood of two of my closest comrades," His voice took on a deeper, sombre tone. It was laced with silent fury. "and killed, one."

"His torture will not be in vain!" He lifted his head high. "Come. Let us end this now!"

The SPARTANs and the Sangheili pressed further into the mine. Ison followed half-heartedly, wielding his sword in his unfamiliar, right hand.

Lora tapped Colin on the back. "Colin?"

"What?"

"You ever get the feeling that we're being watched?"

"Not really? Why"

"I don't know, just a feeling"


****


Back in the first room, a shimmering footprint appeared in the dust beside the SPARTANs'. The shimmer faded, then a fully armoured Brute uncloaked. This Brute wore black armour and had an ornate headrest. Its face was completely sealed against the elements, with two fiery orange lights were his eyes should be. The armour's interlocking plates had a light orange trim of pure energy, almost an outline. The Brute held up its hand and closed it into a fist. Almost simultaneously, a dozen more figures uncloaked behind it.

He brought his arm down and put his wrist to where his mouth would be.

"Supreme Commander, Your welcome party has failed. Permission to attack?"

A deep voice resonated through his in-helmet speakers. "Permission...granted."

  • 09.28.2011 2:28 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

Very awesome so far.

  • 09.29.2011 3:08 AM PDT


Posted by: OfTheBloodguard
Very awesome so far.


Honestly?

Because in my opinion this seems to be so bad, compared to my later chapters.

I want to go back and change the first five, but apart from minor changes, if I do anything else it'll get FUBAR.

So, bare with these atrocious chapters until around 6 and 7. Thats when actual awesomeness kicks in.

(Then when I get further, I'll look back on 6 and 7, and think they are so, so, -blam!-)

[Edited on 09.29.2011 2:04 PM PDT]

  • 09.29.2011 2:02 PM PDT

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