- Tookurdignity
- |
- Noble Member
"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."
-Omar Khayyám-
This is the definitive guide to becoming a successful Bungie follower and mind slave. This guide is easily comprehensive and fun in order to become Bungie's mindslave and have a part in the glorious takeover of the third planet in the Sol solar system called Earth by Bungie.
Keep in mind, nubile mindslave, there are seven steps to becoming a successful mindslave so please follow each one according to how the steps are written. Thank you and good luck!
Step 1) Honor Bungie through mind and body. This may be confusing to some so let me expound on this step: Where ever you go, what ever you do, Bungie is right there waiting for you. You must always have Bungie on your mind at all times to become a true mindslave of Bungie's.
Step 2) Always keep in mind Bungie is good. Anything the employees, from this intellectual fountain of glory, say or do must hold the highest of regards in your mind and body.
Step 3) You no longer have a soul, you gave it to Bungie giftwrapped for them to become their mindslave.
Step 4) Follow Bungie's rules for they will save your life at least once.
Step 5) Fuel your growing obsession of Bungie and anything Bungie related by visiting Bungie.net everyday, buying merch from the store, and where ever you go, wear at least one article of Bungie clothing.
Step 6 )Invite your friends to Bungie events and goad them to joining the Seventh Column then start their paths on to becoming Bungie's mindslaves.
Step 7) The most important rule, not just because it is the seventh rule either. Prepare for the coming journey, do not join other game companies or it will be heresy. For the heretics, the weight of their heresy will stay their feet and they shall be left behind. LONG LIVE BUNGIE!
These are the rules that will forever govern your life from now till the day maggots writhe themselves through your decomposing corpse. Bungie is your past, Bungie is your present, Bungie is your future. Open your mind to the collective, and witness perfection!
[Edited on 10.03.2011 3:24 PM PDT]