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This topic has moved here: Subject: For all loyal Seventh Columnists and Bungie-ites
  • Subject: For all loyal Seventh Columnists and Bungie-ites
Subject: For all loyal Seventh Columnists and Bungie-ites

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."
-Omar Khayyám-

This is the definitive guide to becoming a successful Bungie follower and mind slave. This guide is easily comprehensive and fun in order to become Bungie's mindslave and have a part in the glorious takeover of the third planet in the Sol solar system called Earth by Bungie.

Keep in mind, nubile mindslave, there are seven steps to becoming a successful mindslave so please follow each one according to how the steps are written. Thank you and good luck!

Step 1) Honor Bungie through mind and body. This may be confusing to some so let me expound on this step: Where ever you go, what ever you do, Bungie is right there waiting for you. You must always have Bungie on your mind at all times to become a true mindslave of Bungie's.

Step 2) Always keep in mind Bungie is good. Anything the employees, from this intellectual fountain of glory, say or do must hold the highest of regards in your mind and body.

Step 3) You no longer have a soul, you gave it to Bungie giftwrapped for them to become their mindslave.

Step 4) Follow Bungie's rules for they will save your life at least once.

Step 5) Fuel your growing obsession of Bungie and anything Bungie related by visiting Bungie.net everyday, buying merch from the store, and where ever you go, wear at least one article of Bungie clothing.

Step 6 )Invite your friends to Bungie events and goad them to joining the Seventh Column then start their paths on to becoming Bungie's mindslaves.

Step 7) The most important rule, not just because it is the seventh rule either. Prepare for the coming journey, do not join other game companies or it will be heresy. For the heretics, the weight of their heresy will stay their feet and they shall be left behind. LONG LIVE BUNGIE!

These are the rules that will forever govern your life from now till the day maggots writhe themselves through your decomposing corpse. Bungie is your past, Bungie is your present, Bungie is your future. Open your mind to the collective, and witness perfection!

[Edited on 10.03.2011 3:24 PM PDT]

  • 10.03.2011 3:17 PM PDT

In a time long past, the armies of the dark came again to the lands of men. Their leaders became known as the fallen lords, and their terrible sorcery was without equal in the west.
In 30 years they reduced the civilized nations into carrion and ash. Until the free city of Madrigal alone defined them. An army gathered there, and a desperate battle was joined against the fallen
Heros were born in the fire and bloodshed of the wars which followed and their names and deeds will never be forgotten

I like Bungie but yeah...

>_>

  • 10.03.2011 3:18 PM PDT
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Posted by: spartain ken 15
I like Bungie but yeah...

>_>

  • 10.03.2011 3:19 PM PDT

Half Man.
Half Horse.
Half Machine.
All "Jerk Who's Really Bad at Math."

PS
No, I do not want to join your clan/group.

Posted by: Tookurdignity
Step 1) Honor Bungie through mind and body.

So are you suggesting I should get the Bungie logo tattooed on my ass? That seems rather unpleasant in a variety of ways.

How about I show my loyalty to Bungie by continuing to visit Bnet daily? That seems less painful and less troublesome.

  • 10.03.2011 3:22 PM PDT

I don't just want to be a mind-slave. I think I'm management material.

  • 10.03.2011 3:33 PM PDT

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."
-Omar Khayyám-

Posted by: Big Daddv2
I don't just want to be a mind-slave. I think I'm management material.


Well there is only one step for you then: Make sure to forget how to do anything your employees have to do and yell at them when they don't deliver.

  • 10.03.2011 3:36 PM PDT

"That's about all that can be said for plots, which anyway are just one thing after another, a what and a what and a what.

Now try how and why."

Do we really think bungie has to stoop down to using mind control? It's likely that Bungie would rather be supported by a community of people who are able to think for themselves. They're not valve you know...

  • 10.03.2011 3:36 PM PDT


Posted by: Tookurdignity
Posted by: Big Daddv2
I don't just want to be a mind-slave. I think I'm management material.


Well there is only one step for you then: Make sure to forget how to do anything your employees have to do and yell at them when they don't deliver.

Done and done.

  • 10.03.2011 3:37 PM PDT

"The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it."
-Omar Khayyám-

Posted by: Big Daddv2

Posted by: Tookurdignity
Posted by: Big Daddv2
I don't just want to be a mind-slave. I think I'm management material.


Well there is only one step for you then: Make sure to forget how to do anything your employees have to do and yell at them when they don't deliver.

Done and done.


Good, welcome to the management team. Coffee is made daily around 6AM EST, lounge is down the hall on the right, Breaks are however long 30 minutes is, and when yelling at your employee your voice must exceed 70 decibels.

  • 10.03.2011 3:41 PM PDT

When I grow up I want to be bitter and spiteful.

"i liked the reality where everything was on fire better"
-legato on remedial chaos theory

Posted by: spartain ken 15
I like Bungie but yeah...

>_>
Heresy!

  • 10.03.2011 3:56 PM PDT

Cammalamm is the best.

External Links-
>My Photobucket page
>My Twitter account

"For all loyal Seventh Columnists and Bungie-ites"

if this post is ment for loyal mambers then why would we need something like this.

  • 10.03.2011 4:14 PM PDT

Rock Chalk Real Talk
Minnesotan, currently going to school at KU.


@Geegs30

Thank you for this!

*thread saved*

  • 10.03.2011 4:16 PM PDT
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Posted by: Tookurdignity
Posted by: Big Daddv2

Posted by: Tookurdignity
Posted by: Big Daddv2
I don't just want to be a mind-slave. I think I'm management material.


Well there is only one step for you then: Make sure to forget how to do anything your employees have to do and yell at them when they don't deliver.

Done and done.


Good, welcome to the management team. Coffee is made daily around 6AM EST, lounge is down the hall on the right, Breaks are however long 30 minutes is, and when yelling at your employee your voice must exceed 70 decibels.

What if other people have the same qualifications? Are they just left on the sideline for the Management Team to laugh at?

  • 10.03.2011 4:23 PM PDT
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  • Exalted Legendary Member
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You guys take this stuff too seriously.

  • 10.03.2011 4:33 PM PDT