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  • Subject: the battle of two master chiefs and also a dog
Subject: the battle of two master chiefs and also a dog
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!

warning: the following content may contain trace amounts of words, be careful.

CHAPTER 1: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR AR-2000!

after the events of halo 3, master chief decided to stop sleeping and bring this bad boy he calls a ship home. upon returning none of the humans recognized him but they did freeze him in a cyrogenic chamber in the museum of historical figures and bobbleheads.

fastforward 200 years

mister chef has emerged from the cyrogenic thing and has discovered that much of earth was covered in nothing. it seems that only 1/3 of the earth existed, with the other 2/3 dicking around because it had obviously been shot by the sangeehicans. mastarbate chief figured out the circle of life (via song) and told cortana to enter sub space mode alpha protocol 2000 BC. they were then thrust into space and crash landed onto the sangeehican native planet. he then picked up his trust super soaker and armor lock and got down to business


but all was not right. this was not the sangeehican planet. this was the planet of the apes. menstrual cycle chief blasted his way thru 9 exciting levels of amazement and frolicking and discovered that he actually was on the planet of the sangeehicans the whole time, but the elites had sex with sea otters forming retarded buttmonkeys.

its now up to mustard chief to make things right. chapter 2 caming soon.

  • 10.12.2011 10:52 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!

man i worked so hard on this where did i go wrong

  • 10.13.2011 3:18 PM PDT

Are these manditory?

I thought it was good

  • 10.13.2011 4:25 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!

that means a lot to me ;')

  • 10.14.2011 2:38 PM PDT

On a related note, ******'s mom has really nice boobs, and it doesn't take much booze or encouragement to get her to let the puppies out of the pen...if you know what I mean...

That was... odd... but creative!

  • 10.14.2011 5:26 PM PDT
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13.72 billion years in the making.

On December 1st, 2012, I met Neil deGrasse Tyson. I shook the man's hand, and even made him laugh. Not much else to do with my life now.


Posted by: Gondile
man i worked so hard on this where did i go wrong


This is less than eight paragraphs.

You didn't work hard.

[Edited on 10.14.2011 7:57 PM PDT]

  • 10.14.2011 7:57 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!


Posted by: WinyPit82

Posted by: Gondile
man i worked so hard on this where did i go wrong


This is less than eight paragraphs.

You didn't work hard.

goddammit

ok ok, ill post chapter 2 and put 8 paragraphs

  • 10.14.2011 11:56 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!

CHAPTER 2: THE SECRET OF THE PAPER MACHO MEN

master chief recognized danger when he saw it. at the end of his 9 awesome levels he realized that he did not recieve the achievements for completing them so he went back and did it again. but when he did, he discovered the terminals of the justice league

the terminals expressed the horror that superman and robin had to go through in order to save the world from a dangerous brontosaurus, and in the end, superman was killed. miniture chief was shocked to hear that his childhood friend had joined the dead

law of conservation of mass chief attempted a system override on the terminals to see who accessed it inb4 him and found that a sangheecan had used it. he sprayed a bottle of dog in a can and picked up the trail. at the end of the trail he found a dark secret that none should know

after finding the dark secret that none should know minister chief realized that all along he wanted to be a cowboy, but he knew he could not realize this desire unless he controlled the sangeheecan population. he got his gear and backpack full o' goodies and left

after controlling the population the apes/sangheeicans elected mirror chief as their prime presidential dictator king. he refused. they made him their prime presidential dictator king instead. all was good but magistrate chief could not control the desire he held to be a cowboy. he had to give a sheep-speech sorry i meant speech- he had to give a speech to the sangheecans... he knew this was the time.

jennifer lopez spent all night writing and rehearsing this glorious speech. unfortunately, he slept in and his butler the butler did not wake him up for the speeching. he was devastated and got his own slot in behind the blow. he had taken up alcoholism and smoking green.

mug chief got a DUI and was sent to jail. things werent looking good for our green-as-a-pickle hero. he sat and thought and had a revelation. alah zeus christ appeared to him and told him to follow him, as he would show him the true spirit of christmas

alah zeus christ showed him poor tiny tim. chief's heart was going to burst, he was so sad. our hero then witnessed himself in the future... he were killed in action!! poor chief cried himself to sleep... only to wake up. but he was no longer master chief... he was master chief.

he yelled out to the guards, "what day is it?" the police guard told him it was christmas day. migraine chief went on a large rampage of various phrases describing the lunchables he was going to buy for tiny tim's family and how he felt renewed. the pole-eece decided the chief was mentally unstable. they sent him to an asylum.



2 be cont1nued!!

  • 10.15.2011 12:08 AM PDT

Games I like:,
Half-Minute Hero
MBU
Portal
Halo 3 is the best Halo ever
Maps I like: Turf, Avalanche, Pylon, Sandbox, Breakpoint and many more.

Its good, but this is mostly what I read:

"l0l t1s 1s s0 1337 an8 m1s73r ch13f 1s aw3sum"

  • 10.15.2011 12:50 AM PDT

Today iiiiis.... [insert day]

if you're looking at this, you should join Forever Forgers

why? because i'm a member.

go master bation chief!

  • 10.15.2011 12:09 PM PDT

The tide is turning, brothers! Let us take our kingdom back!

Guys, I'm disappointed in you. This is by far the greatest story on the planet, surely such talent will not be around for many, many years after this man departs. Give this man the praise he deserves.

  • 10.15.2011 9:51 PM PDT

Games I like:,
Half-Minute Hero
MBU
Portal
Halo 3 is the best Halo ever
Maps I like: Turf, Avalanche, Pylon, Sandbox, Breakpoint and many more.

Actually, fully reading it, this story is pretty funny.

  • 10.15.2011 11:35 PM PDT

No u


Posted by: OfTheBloodguard
Guys, I'm disappoint. This is by far the greatest story on the planet, surely such talent will not be around for many, many years after this man departs. Give this man the praise he deserves.


Fix'd first sentence. You're welcome.

Anyways this man is right. Give him a cookie!

  • 10.16.2011 3:26 PM PDT
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Dolphins, man. Dolphins. They are gonna take over the world, and kill us all, man! THEY'LL KILL US ALL! Oh no, they will start with Gondile. Haha, hell if they are gettin' me! No way man, I'll kill 'em. I'll kill them all!!!

chapstick 3: the marshmellow raindrop bubblegum forest


master chief awoke with a start as his room was as cold as microsoft's business. when he woke he had one thing on his mind.... the brain.

McChief thought long and hard and long about how the brain functions. he then thought, why stop ther?? he began to wonder all about the cocyx, when he realized he misspelled coccyx.

mother chief then had a vision while thinking about phaluses. he was talked to by none other than betty white. but she was from the fute- future. she was from the future.

betty related to our hero a story of how the nation that was once great had decided that great was not good enuf. the country..... opted out. thats a smooth way of saying it committed an heroism. thats a meme saying it killed itself. thats a relative term saying the country had engaged in an act that ended its existence and caused existence failure.

miss chief could not handle the presure. he then... opted out. that's a way of saying he broke out of the asylum and became batman and beat up bad guys and finally escaped!!

stay tuned for chap 4!!

[Edited on 10.17.2011 11:21 AM PDT]

  • 10.17.2011 11:19 AM PDT