Off Topic: The Flood
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Subject: The Government is out to get me.
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Last summer, I looked up "Nuclear Missiles" and "Weapons-Grade Plutonium" on Ebay. I didn't find anything, but the next day a black van with no markings on the side parked in front of my house. I heard them drive up, so I peeked out the window, not letting them see me. Two men in black suits and sunglasses got out of the van, walked up to my door, and rang the bell. I waited for a couple of seconds, and they rang again. After they were sure no one was home, they left. They never came back, but I don't know if I have a wire tap hooked up to my phone or not. Who knows, they could be reading this post right now.

And no, I am not crazy, and yes, this really happened.

  • 09.12.2004 10:51 PM PDT
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Yes, because as we all know, real life agents really dress up like agents.

*rolls his eyes*

  • 09.12.2004 10:52 PM PDT
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Confucas say you never know who may be watching or who you may thingk is watching

in other words [yell]you shouldent have been searching for nukes on ebay[/yell]

  • 09.12.2004 10:56 PM PDT
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ahhh yes the great confucas...or is it confushis? idk...w/e

  • 09.12.2004 11:02 PM PDT
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did you ever consider the fact that they weren't government officials, but merely salesmen selling black suits and or Matrix propaganda?

  • 09.12.2004 11:08 PM PDT
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*taps ear piece* "I think he suspects something..."
*unholsters gun*

Tristan ;-)

  • 09.13.2004 3:32 AM PDT

bah

Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Yes, because as we all know, real life agents really dress up like agents.

*rolls his eyes*
I would tend to concur. They were agents of the Matrix trying to kill you.

  • 09.13.2004 5:52 AM PDT
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This is a very stereotypical look at Government agents... Black van, black suit, scary looking.
I'm having a very difficult time believing it.

  • 09.13.2004 7:44 AM PDT
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yea if the government thoght you were looking to buy nukes they would send in the specal forces.

  • 09.13.2004 11:35 AM PDT
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maybe they were just after your cache of child porn0graphy. you sick bastard.

  • 09.13.2004 11:44 AM PDT
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You too huh? Well I guess we will have to form a band of Government hunted kids and rid the world of all people in black suits who walk to your door after you search for missiles on Ebay. *Takes out paintball gun*.

Secret C.I.A. office somewhere:

"Crap I knew they would find a way to fight back, I mean really, our suits are too cool to get paint on."

"What should we do sir?"

"Nuke 'em"

[Edited on 9/13/2004 11:53:19 AM]

  • 09.13.2004 11:52 AM PDT
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Posted by: Money Marine
You too huh? Well I guess we will have to form a band of Government hunted kids and rid the world of all people in black suits who walk to your door after you search for missiles on Ebay. *Takes out paintball gun*.

Secret C.I.A. office somewhere:

"Crap I knew they would find a way to fight back, I mean really, our suits are too cool to get paint on."

"What should we do sir?"

"Nuke 'em"


"Sir! It seems the US military is planning on nuking our base sir! What should we do kid!?"

"prepare for operation 'Paint Bomb!'"

  • 09.13.2004 11:57 AM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Satanic leprechauns are out to get me.

  • 09.13.2004 12:19 PM PDT
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oh yea well i have rabid monkeys after me so ha

oh shizle here they come *Kendo runs away screeming*

[Edited on 9/13/2004 12:22:51 PM]

  • 09.13.2004 12:21 PM PDT
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Posted by: BadKarma
maybe they were just after your cache of child porn0graphy. you sick bastard.


Dude, I'm 13 and in Middle School. So technically, thinking a girl at my school was hot would make me a -blam!-. And if you have fantasies about stashes of child -blam!- than you should have Government Agents coming after you.



[Edited on 9/13/2004 10:44:27 PM]

  • 09.13.2004 10:43 PM PDT
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I see this thread getting locked. Largely cause many times I post, and BANG! the thread gets locked...

  • 09.13.2004 11:03 PM PDT
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if i was the government, i wouldnt think that someone who is a REAL threat to national security would try and buy nukes on the internet.... wat kind of terrorist organisation would do that...

  • 09.14.2004 12:08 AM PDT
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Posted by: Captain Fleas
Dude, I'm 13 and in Middle School. So technically, thinking a girl at my school was hot would make me a -blam!-.

careful what you admit to, you sick little monkey. they could be reading this very thread...

  • 09.14.2004 5:50 AM PDT
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Posted by: Recon Number 54
Now maybe the black helicopters will go to your place and stop circling MY house!


I had that problem too, but then I installed my automatic laserguided missile defence system. Just after, there were hundreds of helicopters around, but now they have stopped coming. Now it's just that "little" problem with the tank parked on my driveway.

  • 09.14.2004 6:43 AM PDT
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If they were really government agents, you'd be too dead to make a thread about it. They were probably just militant Jehovah's witnesses or something.

  • 09.14.2004 7:37 AM PDT
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Yeah...I know.

  • 09.14.2004 1:58 PM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

ill look these up on ebay...next time im at my friends house

  • 09.14.2004 1:59 PM PDT
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Nostradamus was after me. But he had a heart attack when I gave him the hose.

  • 09.14.2004 2:13 PM PDT

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