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  • Subject: Haunted, A Halo Story (Epilogue coming soon!)
Subject: Haunted, A Halo Story (Epilogue coming soon!)

Posted by: OfTheBloodguard
A wonderful way to end the story, mate. Thanks for posting it here, it was a great read.


Glad you enjoyed it! As I have said, it was really fun to write. Oh, and I mentioned possibly adapting this into an original story as a sort of writing exercise.
Well, I have begun the arduous task of doing just that, and so far have about twenty minutes of writing into it. Since I have finished Haunted, as a sort of bonus, I am planning to post those twenty minutes worth of writing a little later tonight.
Oh, and my apologies in advance if the writing seems rushed or hackneyed. As I said, it is literally twenty minutes, with no revisions or corrections (may the gods of grammar have mercy on my soul:).
If nothing else, this next update will provide a sufficient distraction from the arduous task of writing something so... long.

  • 11.27.2011 9:09 PM PDT

And here it is, my thus far untitled project's beginning. When writing Haunted, I fell in love with the characters I wrote, particularly Mendoza, Sturgis and Cruz. I hope to expand upon the crew's personalities and relationships with this project.
Enjoy this sneak peek into my brain ;)

  • 11.27.2011 9:42 PM PDT
Subject: Haunted, A Halo Story (COMPLETE!)

Chapter One

It was supposed to be a simple mission, thought Mendoza ruefully to himself. Seconds ago, a blast of invisible energy tore through the air, mere centimeters above his head, the smell of searing iodine etched into his senses.
Never would the day come that he would forget that smell, not after today.
They huddled in the small rift, six suited figures straining against the burning sunlight and oppressive gravitational pull of this world. And they were pinned, hard.
"Sir, where the hell is he?!" shouted a broad figure beside him. It was the pilot's voice, Mendoza knew. In a transport he was a master of his craft; an artisan in every sense of the word. Here, however, in this blistering rift, the smoldering hulk of their craft looming miles away, he was completely out of his element.
He's never even fired a pistol, for Christsakes, thought Mendoza silently. Aloud, he replied, "Your guess is as damned good as mine, Dooley. But if that fool isn't dead, I am sure as hell going to kill his wise-ass when I see him."
Mendoza spat. He sent Sturgis to reconnoiter the enemy's position the better part of an hour ago. Why he had sent Sturgis; chose him specifically out of the five capable figures huddled before him, he hadn't the faintest idea.
Well, that wasn't true, not exactly. The truth was Sturgis was pissing him off and Mendoza couldn't wait to get him the hell out of the trench, even for a minute.
But this wasn't a minute, and grating as he was, Mendoza didn't like the thought of any of his soldiers in harm's way. He shook his head. He should have known. For 'Sturg to volunteer for anything was a damned red flag. And it wasn't until he had left that Cruz noticed the block of plastique missing from his satchel.
"Damned idiot," said Cruz from somewhere behind Dooley's bulk. "Whatever the hell he's up to, it 'aint recon."
Mendoza peered over the rift, straining his eyes against the harsh sunlight. "And whatever he's up to, it sure the hell isn't productive."
"Never know, Sir. Wars have been won and lost over crazy -blam!-s before."
Mendoza didn't have to look to find where the voice came from. It was Smart, a small waif of a girl barely out of her teens. She was Dooley's co-pilot, and as far as flying went, she was damned near as good as him. Mendoza found her, squatting beside Cruz, her mouth twisted into a vicious grin.
She knows 'Sturg as well as any of us, Mendoza knew.
"I'm willing to guess that more wars have been lost that way..."
"Aw, come on, Corp. I'm sure he's performing acts of unrivaled heroism."
As if in answer to her quip, an bone-shattering explosion rocked the earth beneath them, coupled with something... else. Beneath the earth-shaking blast and the sudden hail of gun fire that followed, another sound could be heard, faint at first but approaching the rift, fast. All six figures pressed their ears, straining to hear the sound over the renewed hail of gun and laser-fire.
Mendoza threw his head up, bullets be damned. He knew that sound. Surrounded by the harks and cries of battle, it was as alien as the sun above them, but nevertheless, there it was, clear as day. Laughter.
By the time Mendoza pinpointed it's source, it was too late. He looked up just in time to see the wiry form of a suited figure sprinting toward him at full pelt. Before he could so much as move his feet the figure dove into the trench, successfully taking each one of the six huddled figures to the ground in the process.
And all the while, that hysterical laughing.

[Edited on 11.27.2011 9:52 PM PST]

  • 11.27.2011 9:51 PM PDT

Ok, that's the first of a few updates to cover the story's beginning. I'll try to post them all tonight if I can muster the will.

  • 11.27.2011 9:53 PM PDT

"Get the hell off of me!" bellowed Dooley from beneath the sprawled form of the runner.
As one, the six soldiers threw the suited figure into the opposite wall of the trench.
He landed with a resounding thud, followed by a chorus of curses and grunts.
Mendoza moved toward the figure, taking care not to expose his head above the rim of the trench as he recalled the acrid, metallic smell of the Chemical Oxygen Iodine Lasers, or COILs; solid-state lasers commonly used in these region's mining operations.
"Sturgis! What in the hell is the matter with you?!" Bellowed Mendoza, taking Sturgis' helmet off in one angry swipe of his fist.
Sturgis rolled onto his hands and knees, his face resolving into what passed for a serious expression.
"Sir. I got the job done, just like you asked."
With an effort, Mendoza allowed Sturgis to finish, despite the traces of that smug--blam!- smile he could clearly see hiding behind Sturgis' thin facade.
"Don't have much in the way of weapons, but they sure as hell outnumber our forces. Probably three to one, by my count."
Mendoza huffed. "Damn it to hell. Did you see a way into their base? A weakness?"
He studied Sturgis, saw that damned grin on his face. "Did you see any damned thing at all?!"
"They ain't dumb sir. They're using the canyon walls to close 'em in tight. Only weak point is a wall on the site's east side."
Mendoza sighed audibly. "And by weak, you mean...?"
Sturgis threw his hands up in a 'What do you want from me[i]?' gesture.
"Good old fashioned concrete from the looks of it. Probably reinforced too."
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, 'Sturg! What in the hell good does that do us?!"
Sturgis held a hand aloft. "Not a whole hell of a lot. You [i]did
ask me what I saw. We got canyon and we got a section that isn't canyon. I deemed that the weak point."
Sturgis scratched the back of his neck, a tick the crew knew all too well.
"What the hell did you do with my C-4, you bastard?" Piped in Cruz.
Sturgis snorted, that dumb grin returning with a renewed force. "You and your goddamn ordinance. It's sick, you know." He turned to Mendoza content to let Cruz stew for a minute.
"Anyway, I put it to good use."
Mendoza looked Sturgis in the eye. "Did you get us a way in?"
"Yeah, I... Well no. The opposite, really."
"The opp...? Why did I pick you?!" Mendoza screamed, belting Sturgis' lanky form. "What in hell did you do, exactly?"
"Well," said Sturgis tentatively, "There was a weak point. A grate just next to the canyon wall..."
"And you blew it open?" replied Dooley, a hopeful expression lightening his dour features.
Sturgis smiled. "Didn't have to. Damn fools left it open. So anyway, I decided to check it out. Lead right to their operation. Well, to their quarters at least."
He looked at Mendoza, hastening his story at the sight of his CO's growing impatience. "They got that whole area buttoned up tight. Whatever the hell they found, the don't want anyone else to know it's there. Only place I could get to were their quarters."
"And?" Asked the co-pilot, never one to indulge Sturgis in his drawn out tales.
"Wasn't much to see." Reading the disappointment on the faces surrounding him, he threw his hands aloft. "What'd you expect? They're living quarters.
"So anyway, I was about to leave, and I saw it." He paused, attempting to create a dramatic affect. What he got was a cuff to the ear, so he continued, slightly dispirited. "Their latrine. Cleanest damned latrine I ever saw."

[Edited on 11.27.2011 10:03 PM PST]

  • 11.27.2011 10:02 PM PDT

"Cruz shook his head. "You used my damned C-4 to blow up a goddamn toilet?!" Despite himself, Cruz' lips were beginning to show the ghost of a smile.
Sturgis laughed. "No. I used your C-4 to blow up four toilets. That's all of them," he added, his wide eyes welling with pride.
A chorus of grins answered Sturgis' story. All looked both angry and amused at once. All, that is, except Mendoza. He seemed pretty much the former.
"And why the hell don't we have a way in?" Mendoza scowled.
"Sir, they saw me running from their quarters like a bat out of hell. They chased me. Only place I could go was out the grate. I lost 'em by those miners," he said, indicating the four towering hulks of machinery visible over the rim of the trench, "but they're sure as hell welding that grate shut by now."
Mendoza sat down on the floor of the dry rift, massaging his temples in frustration.
"So just that we're clear, you kept us in the bottom of this hole for the better part of an hour so that you could close our only gap in the enemy's defenses and blow up a damned toilet."
Mendoza glowered at Sturgis. "That about sum it up?"
"Four, sir."
Try as they might to stop it, a chorus of stifled laughter erupted from the squad.
"What?!" Mendoza fairly bellowed. "You can't be serious right now..."
"Sir," chimed Powell, a muscular Swede. "We've established that 'Sturg is an -blam!-. What we need is a plan." He looked at Mendoza, his eyes glittering with the wrath of an angry god. "And killing 'Sturg is just going to leave us a man down," he added, patting Sturgis affectionately on the shoulder.

  • 11.27.2011 10:12 PM PDT

That section ends at a weird spot, simply because I didn't feel like posting the entire body of what I had written. I feel that this gives you a pretty good impression of the story's overall feel. I hope to tell the story leading up to Haunted, and change Haunted somewhat as well.
As you can probably tell from the short sections I have posted, I was telling the truth when I said I love Mendoza, Cruz and Sturgis :)

  • 11.27.2011 10:28 PM PDT
Subject: Haunted, A Halo Story (With a special surprise!)

only the best game ever.
~Sur Squishy
XBL: D a r k s t a r
PSN: darkstarrr
Minecraft: The_Dark_Star

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Nice work, the story is solid and you must have put a lot of time into writing this. Did you write this and then type it, or did you just simply type into a thread?

If you could get a Machinima production going and get a good production cast, (director, editor, producer, ect.) this could possibly be created into a Machinima with you as the writer and/or the director!

  • 11.28.2011 1:02 PM PDT


Posted by: blade246
Nice work, the story is solid and you must have put a lot of time into writing this. Did you write this and then type it, or did you just simply type into a thread?

If you could get a Machinima production going and get a good production cast, (director, editor, producer, ect.) this could possibly be created into a Machinima with you as the writer and/or the director!


Thank you! I write in word and then copy/past to the forums. Actually, I have already been approached about a machinima, and am very excited about the prospect! I think it would be cool to be involved in something like that :)

[Edited on 11.28.2011 5:19 PM PST]

  • 11.28.2011 5:19 PM PDT

only the best game ever.
~Sur Squishy
XBL: D a r k s t a r
PSN: darkstarrr
Minecraft: The_Dark_Star

Forum Rules | Terms of Use | Code of Conduct

Posted by: A Fat Bell End
Thank you! I write in word and then copy/past to the forums. Actually, I have already been approached about a machinima, and am very excited about the prospect! I think it would be cool to be involved in something like that :)

This is certainly Machinima material and I have directed several short films, (besides Halo) and I would love to try creating this into a Machinima. It is just the time issue that many people have trouble with, as well as a good working cast that can cooperate.

If you want to get your own Machinima production started, I would start with watching this video and all of the ones that follow. I would recomend writing some notes on all five parts and reference this on any question that you need. This is what a lot of current Machinimators refer to when trying to start a Machinima.

If you need a cast, just contact me and I can help you this! ;-)

  • 11.30.2011 4:59 PM PDT

I think it would be great to see this as a machinima. If you want to make it into one, I would be honored! I really don't know how much help I would be to it, as I have zero experience with machinimas (really, the word Luddite comes to mind), but I would be happy to help you as much as I can :)

  • 11.30.2011 8:24 PM PDT

Oh my lord... I just read the ending of my story here on b.net and noticed something disturbing. The last sentence of the story (Which, in my opinion, is the single most important part in any written story) contains a sensor. Bungie "blammed" my word... It is frustrating that I cannot even say what the proper word is :O
Let's see of this works:

And as she watched him, neck craned upward, his wide eyes BR1MM1NG with starlight, she knew the answer to her question.

[Edited on 11.30.2011 9:02 PM PST]

  • 11.30.2011 9:01 PM PDT

Oh, the last few updates are not part of Haunted. It is the beginning of an adaptation I am doing. I am turning Haunted into an original, full length novel, minus all Halo content.

  • 12.03.2011 10:23 AM PDT

Hey, I am attempting to make a PDF of this story... Which I have never before done. Any suggestions on how to get the fonts I want or on how to upload the halo logo? I really know nothing about any of this so I feel a little lost :(

  • 12.04.2011 11:55 AM PDT

only the best game ever.
~Sur Squishy
XBL: D a r k s t a r
PSN: darkstarrr
Minecraft: The_Dark_Star

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Posted by: A Fat Bell End
Hey, I am attempting to make a PDF of this story... Which I have never before done. Any suggestions on how to get the fonts I want or on how to upload the halo logo? I really know nothing about any of this so I feel a little lost :(

If you can explain to me what a 'PDF' is, I may be able to help you.

  • 12.04.2011 1:06 PM PDT

Oh, it is a document displayed with adobe reader. It is kind of a way to create a digital book... of sorts :) Lots of fan fics are made into PDF's for download

  • 12.04.2011 2:28 PM PDT

I've only ever made one PDF myself (it was pretty awful) for my first fan fiction, and I just converted the .odt document directly into a PDF and slapped on a poorly designed book cover.

Since then AssaultCommand has done them for me, because he's a legend. But if you're fine with it just being a basic PDF, download OpenOffice and hit the 'convert' button.

I do it a lot with my writing in progress so I can throw it on an e-reader and go over it away from the PC.

  • 12.04.2011 2:37 PM PDT

Ah, I actually just downloaded openoffice a couple days ago (and am loving it). I was thinking of just converting it as is, but I really want to do more. Actually in one of your fan fics, AssaultCommand had some fonts that looked startlingly similar to the Halo novels'.

Really, it is probably beyond my talents to procure additional fonts or even to make a "crappy" book cover, but I will try. thanks for the advice!

  • 12.04.2011 8:10 PM PDT

I'll save it then read later.

  • 12.05.2011 6:19 PM PDT

Excellent! Hope you enjoy it :)

  • 12.05.2011 7:15 PM PDT

Alright. I am mulling over the possibility of writing another fan fiction. (I have no ideas for the plot, but I am thinking of bringing Mendoza, Cruz and Sturgis back from Haunted. It would be a prequel of sorts.)

My question is this: Would you guys be interested in reading a story with these characters returning, or would you prefer to have a new set of characters? Moreover, would you be interested in seeing another story from me altogether, based on what you have read with my first Fan Fiction, Haunted?

Thanks in advance for the feedback!

  • 12.10.2011 4:17 PM PDT

only the best game ever.
~Sur Squishy
XBL: D a r k s t a r
PSN: darkstarrr
Minecraft: The_Dark_Star

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Ayee, I see that you got your Veteran! Anyways, is Haunted now completed or should we expect to see more in the future?

  • 12.10.2011 6:05 PM PDT

Haunted is now complete... Though I could see another story occurring after Haunted takes place (yes, a sequel) and a series of stories leading up to the events of Haunted (Chronicling how Mendoza's squad formed, and what they did to piss the UNSC off enough to stick them together and give them those prior assignments that would be the focus of those individual prequel stories).

As far as the prequels, I would try to keep them pretty short (within ten pages).

As far as the sequel... It seems odd to have a sequel after all of the... well after the story ends the way it does. Doesn't it? Well, I will just say that the Hive's Ancilla was the hand guided the Hive in it's actions against Sigma Station and the Covenant cruiser. And the Hive, if you recall, was never destroyed. Nor was the Ancilla therein.
I definitely have ideas for both prequels and a sequel, but to answer your question, yes, the story Haunted is officially over :)

[Edited on 12.10.2011 6:22 PM PST]

  • 12.10.2011 6:21 PM PDT

REACH 2 ACHIEVE.
Pink but deadly

I feel so bad!! I haven't read your story in a long time!!!! I don't know what page I'm on now!!!!!!!!!!

  • 12.21.2011 2:30 PM PDT