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  • Subject: Laser Wars: 1.5
Subject: Laser Wars: 1.5

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Here, Laser Wars fans, is where you go to get back to your roots. All this recent Laser Wars nonsense is excatly that- Nonsense. Laser Wars having a storyline is like saying you can brethe naked in space. Cant happen. Here is where we start it out like it was in the first. Laser guns, one character, totally random. Im getting sick of it. It needs to stop.

[Edited on 9/15/2004 12:23:23 PM]

  • 09.15.2004 12:23 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink cautiously looks around the dumpster hes hiding behind and shoots at the next person who posts.

  • 09.15.2004 12:23 PM PDT
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focused7 who is wearing his magic llama suit that protects him from all shots slaps pink around with a wet trout

  • 09.15.2004 12:26 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink... gets slapped with a wet trout. But the only thing that can beat a wet trout is... thats right... a wet noodle! Pink proceeds to strangle Focused with his deadly wet noodle.

  • 09.15.2004 12:32 PM PDT
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focused7 gasp for breath... clutching his throat trying to breath. all of a sudden it occurs to him... he is hungry. eat your way out focused7 that is the only way. the only thought that comes to his oxygen deprived brain. in 3 huge bites he is through the noodle. still his stomach craves more. the hunger is not filled. his teeth slowly sink into pink's leg.

  • 09.15.2004 12:35 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

AHHHHH! Pink screams in agony. Now all the kids would call him stumpy! He hopped out using his right leg, his left dangling by a few tendons still connected. He rips the chewed part off, now only having one and a half legs, and throws it at focused crushing his skull instantly. For some weird ass reason though, focused is still alive.

  • 09.15.2004 12:38 PM PDT
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All of a sudden, Lifeforce, the Lord and Master, Raises his mighty hand, (using his psychic powers) lifts focused off the ground. Focused, unable to do anything to retaliate, is slammed repeatedly into the ground.

  • 09.15.2004 12:38 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Dude. Getting back to our roots. That means lasers and insanley stupid stuff only.

  • 09.15.2004 12:44 PM PDT
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ahhh, but focused got to use a trout... : (

  • 09.15.2004 12:45 PM PDT
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focused7 pulls out his insanley stupid laser powered trout and in a last ditch effort hurls it at lifeforce servering his head from his body.

[Edited on 9/15/2004 12:47:55 PM]

  • 09.15.2004 12:47 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink catches lifeforces head as it begins to fall to the ground. He beams focused in the spleen, rendering him spleenless.

  • 09.15.2004 12:54 PM PDT
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focused7 apologized for chopping off lifeforces head muttering that he only meant to take off his arm. taking lifeforces head from pink he startes to stitch it back onto lifeforce. upon completion he realizes that he has put it on backwards!!!

[Edited on 9/15/2004 1:06:32 PM]

  • 09.15.2004 1:06 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink finds focused spleen on the ground. "You might want this..." He said, awkwardly tossing focused his dirt and sand covered spleen.

  • 09.15.2004 1:08 PM PDT
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focused7 licks the dust and dirt off the spleen and promptly inserts back into the gaping hole in his side. then turning on pink he once again slaps him with the wet trout.

  • 09.15.2004 1:09 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink, between slaps, put his platapus call up to his lips and blew into it. The platapus call - the platapus being the trouts natural predator - scared the trout right out of its skin. The skin then got wrapped around focus' head, covering his nose and mouth, effectivally suffocating him.

[Edited on 9/15/2004 1:14:27 PM]

  • 09.15.2004 1:13 PM PDT
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spartan 133 uses his mystical powers to destroy pink.

  • 09.15.2004 1:21 PM PDT
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Posted by: Spartan 133 aka
spartan 133 uses his mystical powers to destroy pink.


focused7 hails the hero spartan 133 aka and rejoices at pinks demise and the end of this laser war.

THE END!!

  • 09.15.2004 1:23 PM PDT
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Lifeforce, with his newly stitched on arm and head, runs toward pink and kicks his leg. Pink falls fast to the ground. Lifeforce then repeatedly kicks Pink in the head, until his face no longer looks like a face. Because spartan didn't kill him... with his mystical powers... because I said so... because I didn't know he had killed him yet... nevermind.

[Edited on 9/15/2004 1:25:23 PM]

  • 09.15.2004 1:24 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Pink suddenly is dead. He flies back to earth as a ghost and haunts focused

  • 09.15.2004 1:25 PM PDT
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Lifeforce laughs as Pink chases after focused (pink is a ghost)

  • 09.15.2004 1:26 PM PDT
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almighty spartan 133 goes all ghostbusters style and hunts down pink

  • 09.15.2004 1:27 PM PDT
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focused7 calmly walks to his pantry and gets his can of magical ghost be gone. pink is now banished to the deepest fathoms of hell where there is no possible escape in any form or fashion and there he is daily smacked around by wet trouts.

  • 09.15.2004 1:28 PM PDT
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Lifeforce continues laughing while focused is being chased by pink, being chased by spartan 133. Lifeforce watches as the 3 chase eachother for awhile.

  • 09.15.2004 1:28 PM PDT
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spartan 133 throws a rock at lifeforce and continues chasing pink

  • 09.15.2004 1:29 PM PDT
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The rock that spartan 133 threw at lifeforce bounces off stupidheads head and hits pink in the nuts

  • 09.15.2004 1:31 PM PDT