Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Battle for the forums, Episode 2 Up
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Subject: Battle for the forums, Episode 2 Up

(Note: all usernames are not actual people, and if they are they are impersonated...poorly. Think that thing you see before every southpark episode.)

(Note2: Anything said by 'Narrator' is simply available because dialogue could not describe the scope of what is actually happening.)

Narrator: It was a normal day at the bungie.net forums. Everything was going smoothly and soundly. Only discussions took place...

Episode 1: A Call to Arms


Weresnail: Perhaps its time.
Sawnose: No, its too soon. It can’t be time yet.
WS: But we’ve waited so long. I’ve been bored as hell waiting already.
SN: I know, but seriously, its not time yet. Just wait it out.
WS: If I wait any longer, I’m going to go all Wayne Brady style on those poor souls.
Disembodied Soul: Someone called?
SN: Jesus, every time anyone says anything to the effect of disembodiment or soul and you show up. Don’t you have some poor defensless child to make fun of?
DS: No, I stopped doing that cause your mom asked me to last night.
WS: Haha, pwnt.
SN: Oh shut up. No, we weren’t talking to you Soul, now beat it.
DS: *Sigh* What else is new…
SN: You’d think that since he’s the emotional support he’d have some backbone.
WS: I don’t think he physically has a backbone.
SN: Not after what you did to him last time.
WS: Hey, come on now. I told you things wouldn’t be safe if he used that rubber chicken with butter and cornchips the way he was…

Frankie: I’m bored.
Sketchfactor: Why don’t you do the world a favor and actually do something.
F: I’ve been doing your mom favors all last night.
SF: Seriously, I know you’re her slave, she tells me about it all the time how she made you shave your head. Get over it.
F: Wait, I never, I mean, she didn’t, I—
Shishka: Geez you guys are loud. Don’t either of you have work to do?
SF: I’m just trying to get his lazy ass out of my office so I can do some. You ever tried working with him in here?
S: You ever tried working with the Webmaster in your room?
F: Ahh, good times.
S & SF: STFU
F: Ooo…
SF: Anyways, if you can get his arse out of here and working, I’d be glad to finish this stuff up. Heck, I don’t even know why he’s allowed in here.
S: Technically, he’s on the payroll.
SF: Only technically?
S: Everyone else we had up for the job was more annoying, and he does stuff every once and a while. Plus its in his contract, so technically, we have to pay him.
SF: Shame…

Marty the Elder: I don’t even know why I use computers…they’re absolutely useless!
Evil Otto: Well, if you took the time to learn how to use them—
MtE: They’re satan machines! Satan machines, I tell you!
EO: What are we going to do with you…

Ninja On Fire: Damn, I have to fix another bug in the playlists.
AGDTinMan: Well, if you didn’t make the bug in the first place…
NOF: If you want to help, you can go kiss Jason’s ass.
AGD: How will that help?
NOF: You’ll be out of my way and I’ll be able to fix up this crap.
Mehve: What’s wrong with you? No insult? You left me hanging there!
NOF: I leave you hanging every time. You’re not worth it.
AGD: ROFLLMAO!
NOF: Just go, both of you. I’ve got at least 3 pages of user material to go through after I finish.
AGD: But that’ll only take like 10 minutes.
NOF: Not after I finish fixing up the bug. By then there’ll probably be another 5 pages complaining about it.
M: Looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you. Like that big hunk of woman I took out of your mom last night.
NOF: That doesn’t even make sense.
AGD: I thought it was funny.
NOF: When I start caring what you think, I’ll give you a call.

Kuniklo: Hello, anyone around?
K: Hello…?
Achronos: All’s well in bnet…I think I’ll take the day off.

Recon 54: Hey Stosh.
Stosh: Sup recon.
R54: Just got back from the office, thought I’d be able to check in but my back went out.
ST: Getting old? Lol
R54: You just wait…
ST: Your mom told me the exact same thing last night.
R54: I know. She came over to my house and said you were stalking her. That’s why she didn’t come back, or didn’t you notice? I guess your eyesight must be going, especially since my father was still there.
ST: Dude…
R54: You asked for it. Watch bnet for me?
ST: Yeah, whatever…

GameJunkieJim: Dude, I need to buy another system.
VII Toast: You’ve got every system ever made…ever. What more do you want?
GJJ: I don’t know man, but I feel like its crack! I need more! More more more more more more more more more—
Impurity: You need a hand here…
7T: Dude, just let it go. He’ll be here for hours. Just let him get it out of his system.
I: But that’s like the fifth time this week.
7T: I know…but as you can see the Wii isn’t out, and he’s got everything else except for the PS3.
I: Umm…I don’t know that I feel comfortable talking to you like that.
7T: ?
I: Talking about your Wii…
7T: I meant the Nintendo Wii.
I: Oh.
The Great Pretender: AWKWARD!
7T & I: STFU
TGP: Just kidding guys. Hey, have either of you seen Maka, Anton or Goweb?
7T: Nope.
I: Haven’t seen them or Chris either, but I know where NOS and Dmbfan are.
TGP: Yeah?
I: In your mom.
7T: Nice one!
TGP: …
I: But seriously, they’re both in their own groups…not really doing anything, but they’re there.
TGP: Thanks…I think.
I: Yeah, get out of here son! Run Biatch!

Skiptrace: It’s time…
WS: Who said that?
SN: ?
WS: Didn’t you here that?
SN: No, your mom was making too much noise.
WS: I’m serious!
SN: No, I didn’t hear that.
ST: It’s time…
SN: Wait, I heard that.
WS: What the hell is that?
SN: I don’t know, but I know there’s no way anyone but us could get in here.
WS: You mean it’s…like an omen?
SN: No, I mean that nobody but us can get in here.
WS: I think its an omen.
SN: For what?
WS: For us to do what we need to do! Drr…
SN: I don’t know, I think we should wait a little longer…
WS: Dude, when was the last time something like this happened?
SN: Umm…never, I guess.
WS: Then we’re doing it!
SN: One sec, let me make sure that we’re clear first.
WS: Fine…so?
SN: I don’t believe it.
WS: What?
SN: Achronos isn’t here. Say’s he took the day off.
WS: So what, that’s nothing new.
SN: Yeah, but Recon is gone, Yoozel and the Webmaster are pissing and drinking beer at the same time, Ninja on Fire and the rest of the online team are working, Marty is arguing over how computers are evil with Otto, Frankie is drawing Mister chief’s on Sketch’s back, and Kuniklo fell asleep at his desk because he was so bored. On top of all that, Shishka isn’t around and Stosh is offline.
WS: That means there are only a few mod’s to stand in our way.
SN: Not even. Gamejunkie is spazing out. Only Toast and Impurity are still around.
WS: I was right. But no time to argue, we move now!
SN: Fore once, I agree with you. Those two fools know nothing of what we’re going to do with them…

Stay tuned for episode 2!

[Edited on 5/1/2006]

  • 04.30.2006 11:06 AM PDT
Subject: Bungie.net: The battle for the forums
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Cool

  • 05.02.2006 1:20 PM PDT

"It's like a cake filled with pies." -Pete "Mango" Parsons

Seventh Column Contests

I'm pop-ular! Heh, amazing yet again Sir!

  • 05.02.2006 6:03 PM PDT

Gamertag: Zealoustitan
Flood Military
OGame Overlords
lilshorty6478 fan club
Posted by: HansGruber
There once was a boy named Cass
His balls were made out of brass
In stormy weather
His balls clinked together
And sparks flew out of his ass

I see you still got the touch sir b. Sorry I havnt been in that other thread for a while.

[Edited on 5/2/2006]

  • 05.02.2006 6:33 PM PDT

It's been awhile, but i'll be revamping this story within the next few days. Yes, only 2 chapters have been posted so far, and my computer crashed and i lost all the info i had on it, but i do have the info up here

*points to head*

So in a few days.

  • 06.25.2006 4:07 PM PDT

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