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This topic has moved here: Subject: 12,000 Deaths At Your Hands (Reach Machinima)
  • Subject: 12,000 Deaths At Your Hands (Reach Machinima)
Subject: 12,000 Deaths At Your Hands (Reach Machinima)

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A survivor of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear power plant disaster reflects upon his life and his tragic losses in a bitter letter directed to the Soviet Union's government.

12,000 Deaths is the first machinima made by the Bungie group Writers' Corner. Known issues include the narration being too soft at the beginning, along with some instances of the mic being too close to the mouth. But still, try to enjoy and remember that this is my first attempt (dating back to more than half a year ago). :)

12,000 Deaths At Your Hands

  • 12.05.2011 8:42 PM PDT

Hmm, coming from a fellow machinima producer it's not bad for your first attempt. The narration is one of the big issue that need to be cleaned up. The cinematography was good, along with the soundtrack. Very moving. I like how your first try also is not a Halo cannon rip off, like I usually see.

Very nice Op, perhaps we should talk sometime about machinima and stuff. Keep it up!

  • 12.05.2011 8:53 PM PDT

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I wish that the shots were all still shots without any characters seen. The dialouge is fantastic but the voice acting itself was poor. But nice job for your first try, though!

  • 12.06.2011 12:28 PM PDT

"Life to you stepson and everlasting glory. " Thifes World.

Shout out to Ramen my old Writers Corner Bro!.* Bro fists Ramen.* Looks good i will check it out. Nothing is perfect the first try. Trust me i know this from experince. Everything is a learning process. After Watching it i found it good other than some minor video issues. A few audio problems that made it hard to hear at the begining and end but over all it was good.

P.S. Shout out to Writers Corner. Have a good X-mas.

[Edited on 12.06.2011 12:43 PM PST]

  • 12.06.2011 12:33 PM PDT

Love to write? Need a piece critiqued? Visit Writers' Corner.

Posted by: Noob Eater1053
Hmm, coming from a fellow machinima producer it's not bad for your first attempt. The narration is one of the big issue that need to be cleaned up. The cinematography was good, along with the soundtrack. Very moving. I like how your first try also is not a Halo cannon rip off, like I usually see.

Very nice Op, perhaps we should talk sometime about machinima and stuff. Keep it up!

Thanks! People have said that narration is the biggest issue. Volume I can fix with some tinkering on Audacity, but the reason why I chose that particular voice style is because I interpreted the piece as having a narrator who's lost so much that he simply is numb to it all, therefore having a, more or less, monotone voice. I suppose it was a bad idea in retrospect, though.

Posted by: blade246
I wish that the shots were all still shots without any characters seen. The dialouge is fantastic but the voice acting itself was poor. But nice job for your first try, though!

Maybe still shots without any characters would've been better for this kind of story. See my above comment for the voice acting aspect, and thanks for watching!

Posted by: commander tempu
Shout out to Ramen my old Writers Corner Bro!.* Bro fists Ramen.* Looks good i will check it out. Nothing is perfect the first try. Trust me i know this from experince. Everything is a learning process. After Watching it i found it good other than some minor video issues. A few audio problems that made it hard to hear at the begining and end but over all it was good.

P.S. Shout out to Writers Corner. Have a good X-mas.

Thanks, tempu! I wish you a good Christmas as well. :)

  • 12.06.2011 1:49 PM PDT
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Hey, I've seen this Machinima a long time ago. Why post it again?

  • 12.06.2011 5:37 PM PDT

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Wow my map was in this...hooray!

No idea how that got there, I guess it has spread more than I thought.

Everything was good except the narration. The music was an awesome song but it was too quiet.

  • 12.06.2011 5:44 PM PDT

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Posted by: Onyx81
Hey, I've seen this Machinima a long time ago. Why post it again?

Shhh...

;)

Posted by: Arbiter 617
Wow my map was in this...hooray!

No idea how that got there, I guess it has spread more than I thought.

Everything was good except the narration. The music was an awesome song but it was too quiet.

It's a very nice map for city settings. Plenty of buildings to enter and walk around in, not to mention the sewer underneath.

And you've gotta love Lost. :D

  • 12.06.2011 6:59 PM PDT

a Fellow Ukrainian..hmmm Kiev brotha..in regards to the film..id have to agree with Arby..but i have this urge to hate this...its one thing to do a documentary about something..its another to make a machinima of it..which i see as a disrespectful mockery of a great tragedy...and you really should use numbers of people who died 1-2 from the event...not those that died about..20-25 years from then on...to many factors to count

[Edited on 12.06.2011 9:31 PM PST]

  • 12.06.2011 9:30 PM PDT

Love to write? Need a piece critiqued? Visit Writers' Corner.

Posted by: Ghost Bn
a Fellow Ukrainian..hmmm Kiev brotha..in regards to the film..id have to agree with Arby..but i have this urge to hate this...its one thing to do a documentary about something..its another to make a machinima of it..which i see as a disrespectful mockery of a great tragedy...and you really should use numbers of people who died 1-2 from the event...not those that died about..20-25 years from then on...to many factors to count

Thanks for watching, first off. :)

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you in that the machinima attempts to disrespect the Chernobyl incident, or that it mocks it. I don't see any indication in the video that any sort of disrespect was made towards the incident, and I don't think any others saw any signs of it either. Now, if it was, say, a comedy machinima about the same subject matter, I'd agree with you in saying that it could be considered disrespectful. But as it is right now, it's not disrespectful at all.

Your point about the timespan is relevant. I suppose the author of the original story on which the machinima was based off of wanted to instill a false sense of hope in the narrator in that his family might've made it unharmed through the aftermath of the incident. A longer timespan between the incident and the death accomplishes that goal better than a 1-2 year timespan would, not to mention that it stays realistic.

  • 12.06.2011 10:35 PM PDT