- BouncedMr happy
- |
- Fabled Legendary Member
Yes, I AM just that awesome.
A drug dealer, a priest, and a computer game programmer walked into a bar one day. The bartender looked at the drug dealer and said "You drug-dealing worm! You prey on the weak and keep the people down by giving them drugs to distract them from the everyday horror of their pitiful existences! I have more respect for the deformed rat that subsists in the county morgue by eating chemical-laden autopsy remains than I do for you!" And with that, he stamped his 300 lb. bulk down upon the drug dealer's gold inlaid suede platform shoe.
The drug dealer shouted "You radge @#$%! I don't gotta listen to this bucket o -blam!-e," and ran out.
The bartender then turned to the priest and said "You preaching dog! You prey on the weak and keep the people down by giving them religion to distract them from the everyday horror of their pitiful existences! I have more respect for the ascaris worm slowly working its way through my lung than for I do for you!" And with that, he stamped his 300 lb. bulk down upon the priest's shiny black patton leather shoe.
The priest screamed "May the Lord forgive you! You'll burn with the other sinners in the hands of your angry God!" and ran out.
Then the programmer said "Save it, I know what you're about to say. I'm a game-programming rodent. I prey on the weak and keep the people down by giving them computer games to distract them from the everyday horror of their pitiful existences. You have more respect for the dog that eats the buckets of guts thrown out in the gutter by Moo and Oink the butchers than you do for me. I'm on my way out. Just don't step on my gleaming white running shoes."
But the bartender grinned, slowly shook his head, and roughly pulled the programmer to his chest. He whispered into the programmer's ear, and the programmer frantically pulled free and ran for the door.
The patrons were bemused by the programmer's sudden terror, but they understood when green chunks of the exploding bartender's synthetic flesh ripped through their bodies, killing every last one of them. And just as the orgy of gruesome death ensued, they each heard the bartender repeat in a bloodcurdling scream his final words to the programmer:
"frog blast THE VENT CORE!"
It originated from this. True story, bro.
In all seriousness, it originated from the assimilated B.O.B's from the Marathon series who, upon walking up to them, would explode, I believe shouting that phrase.
[Edited on 12.28.2011 6:41 AM PST]