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BC1096
One does not choose a destiny, his destiny is bestowed, shaped and formed, from the soul.
This thread will be the periodically place pieces of it so I can get feedback.
The thread before featured a very rough showing of the book and as like most people said it resembled a script, I did this so it's easier to read and because I am not so good at the whole blank said "quote" idea and I feel as if it is boring so until I get to that I'm really writing the content and them refining it as I go
So here's a back ground of the story
It follows the story of a group of kids, teenagers, and adults as they survive
the invasion. The setting is not original but the perspective in which the story is told in is refreshing and is open to interpretation. It's written in 3rd person
The characters that have significance are:Andrew, Noah, Alex (was known as John before change) Christian, Michael and Wallace
Andrew is seemed as the leader of the group and one who acts on the principle of others lives are more important then mine. He worked on a farm and is 17 years old
Noah is a city kid who was friends with Andrew through school. He is also 17 years old and was a musician
Alex is a 23 year old Marine who through the events of the story ends up with them.
Christian is 15 years old. He has had a trouble past and is the somewhat coward of the group.
Finally Michael and Wallace are 17 year old brothers. They both made a living by fighting in underground clubs in the city. Their parents died in a house fire on earth and were brought to reach to live with their uncle.
There traits and backgrounds have an effect on how the story progresses in ways both drastic and minimal. The story takes place during the invasion of reach and a few days before. All characters In the story are dynamic characters. Because of the circumstances things will happen that are random in nature because it is war and nothing is predictable.
I am currently on page 58 of the story and I will post the story piece by piece on this thread.
Today there is no excerpt because it's late and this was to set the thread up for me later so save this thread and check in everyone once in a while
.
Chapter 1
"Origin"
"You hear the call and run to it
Only to find out it's all ruined
Fighting for ones chance
May end up in the death dance
From brave to fear to brave again
Our fire will burn forever with no end"
Mr. Collins: Andrew tell me what you learned from this poem.
( the classroom was silent )
Noah: Mr.Collins I think he's sleeping...
( suppressed laughs circle the classroom )
Mr.Collins: Andrew!
( Andrew awakes as if he had been shocked by electricity)
Andrew: Yes! What! What was the question?
Mr.Collins: I'm tired of you falling asleep and letting your grades slip! I mean do you even care anymore!
Andrew: To be honest Mr.Collins, I'm a farm boy who's only job oppurtinity is on a farm. Now unlike my 4.1 GPA friend Noah over there, I have no drive to progress here in any way.
( once again silence overcame the class )
Mr.Collins: Then why the hell are you here? Why the hell are you waisting my time?
Andrew: Frankly, I just asked myself that same question.
( Andrew stood up and proceeded to leave the classroom )
( several hours later at a diner )
Michael: What do you mean he just left class!?
Wallace: If Michael left I would go with him. Because he's my brother and Andrew is the closest thing you have to one.
Noah: Ya but I would get in trouble and not only that I had to meet with this girl. Plus I called him and told him to meet us here.
Wallace: how long ago?
Noah: bout 5 or 6 minutes.
( the buzzer of the door opening to the dinner sounded and Andrew walked in with a smirk)
Michael: What do we have here. Well if it isn't the man himself, the man who stood up and walked out after embarrassing his teacher. You never cease to amaze me.
( Andrew laughed and took a seat next to Noah, who looked surprised)
Andrew: Haha. Shut the hell up. Noah whats wrong with you?
Noah: you actually showed up, you dont need to help at home
Andrew: Not today and did you guys hear some ships dissappeared near here.
Wallace: you mean in the ocean or space? Because that happens quite often.
Andrew: In space and true weve got a pirate problem here on reach. But this ones different.
Noah: In what way?
Andrew: Apparently they can't find the ship. And as we know pirates usually take stuff, shoot up the place and leave. But the ship is gone entirely and there's traces of plasma from the only piece of the ship they found.
Noah: so pirates use plasma guns now? Are you smoking?
Wallace: ya I don't believe that at all.
Andrew: hey you never know people are getting edgy with the UNSC and all the rebels. Noah hows your music coming along?
( Wallace and Michael look surprised )
Michael: you play music?
Wallace: When the he'll did that happen?
( Noah looks embarrassed )
Noah: ya a little, and it's coming out alright. Andrew you should've heard the poem Mr.Collins read today in class.
Andrew: I'm sorry, i was to busy sleeping. But, sure what was it
( Noah goes through his coat pocket and pulls out a crumbled piece of paper and reads it out loud )
Noah:You hear the call and run to it. Only to find out it's all ruined. Fighting for ones chance. May end up in the death dance. From brave to fear to brave again. Our fire will burn forever with no end
( Andrew looks at Michael and Wallace and laughs)
Andrew: that barely even rhymed.
Noah: it's a free verse poem. It doesn't have to rhyme. It's cool cause it's cryptic
Andrew: it's not at all. You hear someone call for help, you go to save them and their dead, you then go fight for someone else and may die doing so, you start confident then get scared then overcome it. And that passion will never go away.
Noah: Why don't you actually try in school.
Andrew: Because it doesn't matter to me. I'm ganna be a farmer all my life, you will be a lawyer or stock broker, Michael and Wallace will get into that big fighting league back on earth, because they have never lost a fight at the club. You guys have futures but I dont.
Andrew: Where is Christian?
Noah: no clue.
Wallace and Michael: same.
Andrew: Lets find him. Hes probably in the park or his garage.
(After an hour of looking they find him on a hill looking at the beautiful midnight moon reach has)
Andrew: Christian?
Christian: Yes?
Andrew: where have you been? Weve been looking for you for a while?
Christian: I've been trying to forget about something
Wallace: May I ask what that is?
Michael: It's fine if you don't tell us but were here for you, your the young one and we don't want you to get screwed mentally at 15.
Christian: sit down.
(they all sat down facing the moon)
Christian: Did you guys hear about the ship that went missing out there?
( they nodded their heads )
Christian: well my dad was on it, and he's...
( Christian begins to get watery eyes)
Andrew: It's fine we got it. I'm sorry bro. Were here for you. In fact I'll call may dad and tell him that I'm ganna stay with you tonight. You guys should to.
( once again they nodded their heads and once again they stared at the moon )
( they spent the night trying to get the thought of his father's death out of his mind )
Chapter 2
" The Fire starter"
(the next day Andrew woke up to see Michael and Noah awake eating breakfast)
Andrew: Wallace and Christian?
Noah: Sleeping.
Andrew: Any news on the ship?
Michael: they found more parts all with the same plasma burns. They ruled out pirates.
Andrew: It's not like it's the covenant or anything, we took care of them at Harvest.
Noah: ya, I would hope so
(a few hours later while walking in the city)
Wallace: Mike, I miss mom and dad.
Michael: Me too, but me and you can handle our lives, we've been doing it for 5 years already. And it helps us relate to Christian.
Wallace: your right I never..
( Andrew came running at them with Noah trailing behind with Christian )
Andrew: Guys! A UNSC frigate went missing yesterday!
( Andrew bends over trying to calm himself)
Wallace: Alright it's getting sketchy on the way hear we saw people buying food from the markets like crazy. The cops are going crazy, and we saw a couple UNSC Pelicans flying around.
Michael: It's like a doomsday, like in that movie when the guy tells the future and then the world ends like a week later.
Wallace: except this is real, I mean I doubt it's anything big and plus who would mess with the UNSC
Andrew: The rebels.
Michael: Looks like their passing the torch and are ready to light a fire, like in the Olympics.
Andrew: the only question is, Who's the fire starter?
[Edited on 01.18.2012 4:28 PM PST]