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I'll probably still be too poor to attend this year.
I do actually want to go though. None of you actually know what I look like, and I'd never fess up. The IRL trolling opportunities are worth it alone.
Every time Yoozel set his drink down, I'd steal the cup/glass/bottle. After the 3rd "Where'd my drink go" I wouldn't be able to stop laughing. I'd put pre-set mousetraps in TU's bed, bag, shoes, everything. I'd punch Qbee in the chin, and run away saying "lolnorway". I'd dye Urk's beard white when he passed out. I'd steal and break Foman's miniature model Banshee (that I assume HE carries around with him) and in its place leave a note about how he sucks with it anyway. I'd punch Qbee in the chin once again, and run away yelling "89 89 89 89 89".
Then I'd look at game displays or whatever it is regular people do at PAX. Then I'd get bored, kidnap The Slayer and make him read fairy tales to me while I go to sleep.