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This topic has moved here: Subject: Sins of a Spartan Short Story
  • Subject: Sins of a Spartan Short Story
Subject: Sins of a Spartan Short Story

This is the short story inspired by the Fan Fiction Video I made.

So here it is:

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0BwMTvgGXRiT6aDltVURPTU1TSUds TkhYS2Y0ODJyUQ

Unfortunately B.net won't allow hyperlinking for https so you'll have to copy/paste.

Leave your opinion, comments below.

This Story ties into the Valkyrie Rising Fan Fic that we've been making for Gamma Company, but this story was initially inspired by a Fan Fiction trailer video I made and such.

  • 04.03.2012 8:52 PM PDT

Big, big read! I haven't finished it yet, but all good so far :D

  • 04.03.2012 11:42 PM PDT

I read it...it was quite sad. You could feel the city in tatters, and when the girl died...dear lord.

Excellent writing, all 32 pages of it.

  • 04.04.2012 4:57 PM PDT

Thank you S p h 1 n X O 7 & Spartan1995324 for your input and such, this was alot of fun to write although I needed to listen to NIN alot to get the setting and feeling of the story to be depressing and such like that.

But it was worth the 5+ days of writing and 2 weeks of thinking and editing. But I had to cut out a fair amount of stuff in the end.

  • 04.04.2012 5:09 PM PDT

It's painful butchering away pages because of problems. But naturally I feel cleaner after it, anyway, haha. Gonna dig right back in, so excuse me!

  • 04.04.2012 10:12 PM PDT
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I liked it but I didn't like that the Spartans would cry when the girl died, etc. It just made them feel well in simpler terms "not spartan." But overall it was a good read.

  • 04.04.2012 11:33 PM PDT


Posted by: krnlcheese
I liked it but I didn't like that the Spartans would cry when the girl died, etc. It just made them feel well in simpler terms "not spartan." But overall it was a good read.

This story was meant to show a more human side of the Spartans and through it the emotions that come with it. even though they are super-soldiers forged for war, they still are human.

That's why I did that because most stories don't have the emotional aspect of that and make them be too cliche, as in emotionless behemoths gunning down the enemies and taking losses without even flinching.

Too many have forgotten they are still human.

So that's why.

  • 04.05.2012 2:04 PM PDT
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Number 622

Sounds interesting enough. Deffinetly look forward to reading it, BlackHalos

  • 04.05.2012 7:07 PM PDT

Thank you Semipro

[Edited on 04.16.2012 2:50 PM PDT]

  • 04.07.2012 12:22 AM PDT