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Subject: Site Update Rumors!

@Helveck

Just an Average Joe...

Quite recently I have been entrusted with top secret intelligence in regards to Bungie.net site updates that will be arriving at an unspecified date and an unspecified time somewhere in the unforeseeable future. 

My source is one hundreds percent real and completely unreliable. I've known him for quite some time and in confident he would not mislead me in any way shape or form, yet he's completely untrustworthy. So that being said, have confidence in my words and believe what you're about to read, because I can almost uncertainly assure you, it is all true and will soon become a reality. 

 1. Major overhaul of site appearance: 

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize there is going to be a serious visual overhaul of the site. Color schemes are sure to change, and my source informs me the colors may become lighter overall, possibly silver and grayish or silver and red, to sort of symbolize Bungie's overall conservativeness, and to reflect the feel and tone of their future endeavors, such as world domination. 

 2. 3D Features: 

3D has become huge in the movie industry over the past few years, and so word is that Bungie has recognized the redundancy for such an incredible feature that they're bringing it right to your very own computer. 

Thankfully, they're not including a "3D Off" feature, so you'll be able to enjoy 3D user interface all the time. That is, of course if you mail them the $317.99 fee for the state of the art 3D glasses that are required to enjoy the full 3D experience and awesomeness of drop down menus popping out of your screen before your very eyes!

Refusal to purchase equipment may result in an otherwise undesirable experience here on Bungie.net, and the blurry visuals without the glasses are sure to give you a splitting headache if you remain on the site long enough. Or you'll go blind. So invest!

 3. Custom Avatars: 

Apparently they may or may not be making there way into the next site update. But out of all the things that are coming, I wouldn't count on this. 

 4. Moderator Roulette: 

Bungie knows it had a very talented and responsible bunch of Community members at their disposal. So, with that being said it appears they have finally decided to put us to use. 

The rumor appears to be that every 24 hours, the "Bungie Roulette" system will promote 1 standard member to Moderator with complete control of the site with the exception if banning Achronos. You can ban as many people as like otherwise, lock as many threads as you wish and the affects of your reign of terror can only be reversed if or when the system decides to chose you again. 

 5. Community Forum Changes: 

With this massive update, it appears the Community forum and it's full potential had been realized... As such, it's next step towards growing into so something better is it's complete and utter destruction. 

But! Yes there is a "but", so as you are not to worry. The function of the Community Forum has been replaced by a quiet little corner on Bungie.net that requires you visit the "Ether Forum". This forum has no topics, and awaits your original and clever submission of a unique topic. Once you've taken the time to write out your pointless and repetitive thread that was once destined for the Community Forum, the ether forum takes your magnificent creation and turns it into nothingness. A void. Where it belongs... Crazy, right? Remember these aren't even my rumors. So if you're upset take it up with the Web Team. 

 6. Dragons: 

Apparently Dragons have made the cut for this upcoming version of the site. Their integration includes incinerating everything in your neighborhood, or reaching out from your computer, biting you and shaking you violently as you flail helplessly and are eventually released at high speeds like an acrobatic champion sailing gracefully through the air. 

I bet you 3D glasses will work really great with this, feature. 

7. The 'ol Switcharoo

When members post in a thread, a gold septagon will now be attached the the thread. When employees post it locks the thread to prevent quoting. 

8. B.net Achievements: 

Finally! They're here! At least hopefully  they make the cut, or the rumor is true. 

Some of the Achievements were shared with me an include,

"Don't forget to go outside!" - achieved by posting to intrepid or fabled status. 

"You are superior to fellow members an all mankind." - Achieve Mythic member status. 

"Goody Two Shoes." - Achieve Exalted Status. 

I'd share more, but I'd hate to spoil all the fun. 

9. B.net Chat:

Okay, I made this last one up. 

Anyway, the future is looking pretty bright for this place. I honestly can't wait to see the fresh new look and features coming our way. What do you guys think?

  • 04.13.2012 4:53 PM PDT

haha thats funny your funny

  • 04.13.2012 4:57 PM PDT

HFCS verb \hiff-cix\
1 a: The act of using the Unleash Ninjas button, and performing a moderation act.

This is probably a joke. I'm not paying $317.99

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT

Jack of all trades, master of none.

Okay, I made this last one up.

Just that one?

[Edited on 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT]

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT

Posted by: WolfmanMaverick
You people have just sent my sides into orbit. A bunch of MLG try hards sucking the dick of some supposed pro half the thread hasn't even heard of. Classic.

I think all of that waterboarding has deprived your brain of oxygen. How goes it feel to be down on my level? Love the list.

KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BUD!

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT

"There's daggers in men's smiles." - Donalbain, Macbeth, Act II, scene iii

Ban Roulette:

BANBANBAN

*24 hours later*

I'm banned, what the hell. I didn't even do anything wrong.

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT
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  • Veteran Member

Posted by: Helveck
When members post in a thread, a gold septagon will now be attached the the thread. When employees post it locks the thread to prevent quoting.
This made me lol.

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT

Who the hell do you think I am?

Hmmm... Seems legit.

  • 04.13.2012 4:58 PM PDT


Posted by: MightyMarcher01
This is probably a joke. I'm not paying $317.99
Mythic members always make serious posts though.

  • 04.13.2012 5:01 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

10/10.

  • 04.13.2012 5:03 PM PDT

Number 7 is a must.

  • 04.13.2012 5:05 PM PDT

In a time long past, the armies of the dark came again to the lands of men. Their leaders became known as the fallen lords, and their terrible sorcery was without equal in the west.
In 30 years they reduced the civilized nations into carrion and ash. Until the free city of Madrigal alone defined them. An army gathered there, and a desperate battle was joined against the fallen
Heros were born in the fire and bloodshed of the wars which followed and their names and deeds will never be forgotten

Dragons?

  • 04.13.2012 5:05 PM PDT

I told you you weren't supposed to tell anyone!

  • 04.13.2012 5:16 PM PDT

"I'm uncomfortable."
-True Underdog
Young Grasshopper of The Year: ChorrizoTapatio 2012

A little bit of sausage, a little bit of hot sauce, a whole lot of awesome. Have a question? Ask me!
Chapter


Posted by: Helveck
My source is one hundreds percent real and completely unreliable


and completely unreliable

unreliable

I think we can trust this source. I can't wait for the update!



  • 04.13.2012 5:22 PM PDT
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  • Fabled Mythic Member

R.I.P. DeathPimp. Never Ending Respect.

"Posted by: Kickimanjaro
I'm trying to become an '04, but it's not working too well."

When's the last time you made a serious thread?

  • 04.13.2012 5:22 PM PDT
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Positive vibes.

Well, there's no arguing with that...

;)

Posted by: Helveck
My source is one hundreds percent real and completely unreliable.

  • 04.13.2012 5:23 PM PDT

Lol, I found that second paragraph funny, the I stopped reading.

  • 04.13.2012 5:23 PM PDT

When, where, and why is this update arriving?

  • 04.13.2012 5:24 PM PDT

Rock Chalk Real Talk
Minnesotan, currently going to school at KU.


@Geegs30

I hear Mythic members are getting rewarded for their good behavior with an exclusive forum open only to them.

  • 04.13.2012 5:40 PM PDT

Join The Spartan I Project today!
SIP is here to help you achieve a 1,000 Gamer Score and Unlock all of the Armor Permutations.

Thumbs up!

  • 04.13.2012 5:41 PM PDT

Key

I don't trust your source at all.

Why would Bungie add Dragons and not change the color scheme to purple? It doesn't make sense.

  • 04.13.2012 5:47 PM PDT

You only die once, better make it count.

Goody two shoes?

That hurt... deep.

  • 04.13.2012 5:49 PM PDT

The Song Of Nephilim

Xenoblade <3

When the time comes. Give it a few.

  • 04.13.2012 5:58 PM PDT
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Do not waste your tears, I was not born to watch the world grow dim. Life is not measured in years, but by the deeds of men.

Posted by: goldhawk
We should know better, because we are better.


Posted by: Helveck
 6. Dragons: 

MFW

  • 04.13.2012 6:02 PM PDT

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