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  • Subject: And now for something completely different...
Subject: And now for something completely different...

Rock Chalk Real Talk
Minnesotan, currently going to school at KU.


@Geegs30

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to enga-" The Captain's words morphed violently into screams as a beam of energy ripped through his abdomen. Gabe witnessed the rest of the rookies exchange looks of pure terror, and a small smirk slid across he face. "Screw the sims, and screw the Captain," he thought. "It's about time I got to roast some real buggers."

  • 05.14.2012 1:38 PM PDT

Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien.
Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar.
tenn' Ambar-metta!


Posted by: DeeJ

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to engage! Be advised multiple tangos on sight."

Team leader gets a new visual. "Three hundred infantry at 6 hundred meters, closing in our lines due north. Recommned hold position until primary tangos are down, then close on their front lines as fast as you can."


[Edited on 05.14.2012 1:40 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 1:39 PM PDT

Si hoc legere scis, nimis eruditionis habes

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to..."

The team leader never managed to finish his command, as a bullet entered his skull and put a swift end to his life. He would not be able to see his brave soldiers, who were outgunned, outmanned, and outmatched in nearly every way, repel the oncoming enemy forces and ultimately win themselves the war. He would never be able to see his name inscribed into the recordings of history as he who led his troops to victory against insurmountable odds time and time again. Alas, a tragedy such as this is commonplace in war, which has no mercy on any and all who are caught in its malicious current, and he will be remembered.

  • 05.14.2012 1:42 PM PDT

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space." -Johnny Cash

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to launch operation TOAST." barked General Ling Ling. The battle against the evil being known as Stosh was beginning, and everyone within Bungie Studious was preparing their toast guns when the unthinkable happened; Stosh launched a surprise attack. Like the evil being that Stosh was, he made Sage's beard fall off by just looking at it. Unfortunately for Stosh, Sage's beard is secretly self aware, so it jumped on Stosh and tied him up. To punish Stosh for his rebellious actions, he was forced to forever interact with the Bungie Community under the new identity of DeeJ.

  • 05.14.2012 1:44 PM PDT

@Helveck

Just an Average Joe...

We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to adorn yourself dresses and wigs!". Upon the horizon Commander DeeJ could see the angry mob a few short miles away, but the clock was ticking furiously, and he feared in mere minutes that the Bungie building would lie in ruins.

Urk screamed over to DeeJ while JonnyOThan zipped up Urks dress, "DeeJ, you mind explaining why the hell we're putting on dresses and lady wigs?!"

DeeJ screamed back, "Because they're angry about the darkness and they want in to know all out secrets! Everyone knows nerds are afraid of girls and if we're all girls then they won't come within a mile of this place and we'll be safe for a little while longer!"

  • 05.14.2012 1:46 PM PDT

Spread the love...

Posted by: DeeJ
I will be giving you a glimpse at life in our studio with a story about something we are doing to herald the return of sunny skies in the Pacific Northwest
I assume this is our prompt. If not, well too bad.




My Submission:

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to fire the cannonballs!"

Everyone lined up against the pool and got into position, their skins crawling with anticipation of the cool water. Seattle was a rainy mess most of the year, but the couple months when the Sun shined made it arguably one of the most beautiful cities in the country.

"Cannonballs, fire!"

One by one all the Bungie employees jumped into the pool and, upon contact with the refreshing water, filled their faces with smiles of absolute happiness.

  • 05.14.2012 1:59 PM PDT

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to fall back!"
As we heard this command the remaining members of my platoon started to slowly fall back while carrying as many wounded as we could. Just this morning I was having breakfast with my best friend Candler and now he dead... NO HE WAS SLAUGHTERED! Slaughtered by those damn bastards that think they can do anything they want and get away with it! Well they're wrong because I'm going to come at them with all I've got and make sure they pay for what they've done.

  • 05.14.2012 2:00 PM PDT
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Five exclamations marks are a good signifier of an insane mind. As is trying to hide from Death in an airtight room. Silly wizard.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to do something!" Before they could, Chuck Nortis blew through their lines, followed closely by Arnold Scwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Jet Li, Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, and many more celebrities who will be appearing in Expendables 2. What followed was the most mind blowing display of awesomeness that my keyboard melts trying to find words to describe it in sufficient detail. It can never be said that they did not create the most crazy awesome movie of all time, but that is all that can be said because the keyboard is almost gone now and smoke is starting to come from my CPU and I don't think my computer will last much longe-

  • 05.14.2012 2:08 PM PDT

Have you seen my mind anywhere? I seem to have lost it...

0x0 x0x 0x0 000 000 x0x 000
x0x 0x0 0x0 0xx 000 0x0 000
x0x x0x x00 0xx 0x0 x0x 0x0

I have seen you future

We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to fall back, artillery I need final protective fire 200 meters north of my position!"

"Sir, is this all really necessary?" asked number two.

"DeeJ, we cannot let those fans stroke my beard ONE MORE TIME!" screamed a terrified team leader urk.

  • 05.14.2012 2:20 PM PDT

Questions lead to learning, learning leads to kowledge, knowledge leads to understanding, understanding leads to peace.



"I would kill to get a killionaire... 10 times... digitally."

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ________________________..."

engage marked targets!" As the man leaped over the embankment, a shell, whizzing through the air, exploded at his feet, sending him flying through the air.

...

He awoke hours later, only to be treated to a cold desolate landscape, blasted apart by artillery and turret fire. Looking around, he found himself to be the only living thing within sight; his team lay at his feet, their lives shattered in their prime.

A sudden wave of distress descended upon him, but their was no time to mourn; He had to carry on ... for them.



I might have had to fudge the rules of grammar to fit that into five sentences (counting the one DeeJ started), but what can I say, I was inspired. As for the dismal tone, I was feeling rather melancholy today.

  • 05.14.2012 2:30 PM PDT

Jack of all trades, master of none.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to engage hostiles!" As the leader peaked out from the half destroyed wall he was using as cover, and aimed down the sights of his high-powered anti-infantry machinne gun, he almost dropped it in sheer shock and surprise from the sight before his eyes. As the lumbering beast, for there was no other word to describe such an obimnation of nature, came from the dark gloom of the deep cave ahead, he could not help but marvel at what he could barely comprehend before him. It must have been 10ft tall; a massive quadrupedal, greyish-purple dog-like creature with huge, sharp canines dripping with what could only be blood, and wearing thick metallic armoured plating. The leader knew he had to move his squad, or watch them all viciously slaughtered beneath this alien creature.

Don't be too harsh. I've never done creative writing outside of school before, but it seemed worthh having a go. You never know...

I emboldened the provided text, so you can see when my 4 sentences start.

[Edited on 05.15.2012 7:56 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 2:31 PM PDT

What's up with all the -blam!-ing negativity?
Stop it.

Member of KOTOR

Keer-Meet
God of Destruction

4 Sentences?
Posted by:

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to slap Deej in face for only letting the story be 4 sentences long." "Really, commander?" "Yes, it's just ludicrous; he should be punished." "Okay..." *Slaps Deej*


[Edited on 05.14.2012 2:55 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 2:35 PM PDT

Snakie Purple.

"Hamdog, Hamdog, Hamdog, Hamdog"-Hamdog.

Twatter

""We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, form ranks and prepare to defend!" The TACMAP on his HUD flashed its blue luminescence on his hard and haggard facial features as it began to transmit the relevant data to his armour.

Various shapes and colours representing different fireteams came to life as they began to reposition into a more defensible formation. Teams Echo, Alpha, and Lima were already in position on the ridge to the west, guns fixed on the encroaching enemy force, while Delta, Gamma, and Kilo teams broke into a sprint on the south-eastern ridge, hurrying to prepare for the coming onslaught. The Commander sighed before checking his rifle and looking to the men of his squad around him, their faces were determined, eyes forward and weapons raised, but he could clearly see fear in their eyes, and truth be told, he was truly scared before the darkness of the abyss for the first time in his long life..."

Best I could come up with in about 10 minutes. Didn't want to do pseudo Sci-Fi but it's where my brain was. At least it got my brain out its writer's block and I can get back to work.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 2:42 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 2:41 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Intrepid Mythic Member

For Carnage, Apply Within.

I have returned from the Untamed Lands. MOAP is dead.

.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 3:14 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 2:47 PM PDT
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"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. " All available units, prepare to... Um... Prepare to...... " DeeJ what's my line?"

"Not good Johnjohns2, not good at all." DeeJ said mockingly. "You have messed up your line, and thus have lost my amusement in being the first person to attempt to "act" their way into getting a glimpse inside Bungie. You may leave now."

Johnjohns2 is then forcefully bounced from the premisis by Jerome.

DeeJ has one again saved the day.

  • 05.14.2012 2:51 PM PDT

My main xbox gamertag is Jrman16753
Do you like intelligent debating? Join secular sevens.
Do you love space and astormony join space explorers.
My name is Jordan, I like video games, books, films, history, science, politics, geography and religion.
Never stop learning and always question.
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
Sapere aude

I will pass although I might do it later, great way to mix things up.

  • 05.14.2012 2:55 PM PDT

If this is the state of my art, then I secede.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader.
"All available units, prepare to ________________________

  • 05.14.2012 3:00 PM PDT

Have an addicition? Join Gamers Anon



Posted by: urk
Then there are the people who poop in the mash potatoes. Those people get launched out on their asses.

I play by my own rules.

  • 05.14.2012 3:01 PM PDT

You are all constructs of my solipsist mind.

inb4 three page long run on sentences

  • 05.14.2012 3:04 PM PDT

Snakie Purple.

"Hamdog, Hamdog, Hamdog, Hamdog"-Hamdog.

Twatter


Posted by: EL
.

Well that made this thread all shades of awkward.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 3:17 PM PDT by x Foman123 x]

  • 05.14.2012 3:07 PM PDT
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Well spank my balls and call me Santa, it's Easter already!


Posted by: EL
.


Someones going to cry when they read the OP :L

[Edited on 05.14.2012 3:18 PM PDT by x Foman123 x]

  • 05.14.2012 3:14 PM PDT

"There's daggers in men's smiles." - Donalbain, Macbeth, Act II, scene iii

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to Frogblast the Ventcore!"
"Hold your fire, Red Team!" The voice of the opposing team leader boomed through the simulation room like a disheartening clap of roaring thunder. "Your forces outnumber us 11 to 7, but we both know who will end up eating the path!"
The seven members of Blue Team emerged from cover with the elegance and intimidation of a rampaging herd of stallions, and the Red Team knew that the fight was on. This was it. This was war.

  • 05.14.2012 3:19 PM PDT
  • gamertag: Keir F
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"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to rendevous in Aisle 7!" his words hammered down upon the microphone clenched in his glistening marble hands - the shrieking, swirling mass of men below him flowing towards the offending Aisle, "Oh yes, how sweet it shall be to exact revenge upon that meddlesome child once and for all - the audacity of him, thinking he can vomit upon MY floor and not feel the glorious mop of justice?"
Emitting a disgruntled sigh, expressing all that can be said about a night manager of a store gone mad with power, the other man in the room turned to the Team Leader, "DeeJ, get some sleep, stop playing so much Halo and find yourself a proper job."
The team leader paused momentarily, his haughty poise broken, "But where else in the world could I lord over an army of devoted monkeys who follow my every word? Where else can my obsessive love of Halo be translated into something more than just my every waking moment? Where else..."
The other man had since left the room, this happened a lot to DeeJ - until he took a glance on the Bnet Careers page...

  • 05.14.2012 3:26 PM PDT


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to open the door, get on the floor, so everyone can do the dinosaur."

  • 05.14.2012 3:34 PM PDT
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And now for something completely different...

  • 05.14.2012 3:36 PM PDT