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  • Subject: And now for something completely different...
Subject: And now for something completely different...

Perpetual Ninja in training.

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe."

DMH

Los Paranoias

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to move the coffee truck in ten seconds!" The Cream Team gathered their strength, and pushed the coffee truck across the street, wasting not a moment more while taking fire from the Vagarious Vegan Squad's soy beam lasers. "This coffee needs to get to high command," the leader screamed, "or else they might lose the alliance from Stimulant Sovereignty!" The Cream Team knew what was at stake. The weight of all Foodlings rested on their curds.

  • 05.14.2012 3:37 PM PDT

"We live in a special time; the only time where we can observationally verify that we live in a very special time" - Lawrence Krauss.

I was a finalist :P

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to circumvent the female immune system and begin fertilisation protocols"

With that, they formed up; standard 1,000,000 by 1,000,000 formation; this was nothing, the last group consisted of twice as many sperm, and the one before ten times as much. It would be a long treck up the fallopian tube for this unit, and there'd only be about 100 remaining by the time they reached the target. It was there, however, where the cooperation tactics changed to a sperms version of the hunger games; all in order to claim that eggy prize.

  • 05.14.2012 3:41 PM PDT
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Rev.6-8 And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ________________________..."

open fire"

We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin' on
down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

Yeah they ran thrugh the briars and they ran through the brambles and they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go. They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch'em down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

  • 05.14.2012 3:41 PM PDT

These are not the informations you are looking for. Unless you're looking for my informations.

Check us out. Registration is not open, so please contact me or another member of the site if you would like to consider joining.

Posted by: DeeJ
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. All available units, prepare to fire when ready! Their honour precarious, their liberty provisional, lasting only until the discovery of their crime; their position unstable, like that of the poet who one day was feasted at every table, applauded in every theatre in London, and on the next was driven from every lodging, unable to find a pillow upon which to lay his head, turning the mill like Samson and saying like him: "The two sexes shall die, each in a place apart!"; excluded even, save on the days of general disaster when the majority rally round the victim as the Jews rallied round Dreyfus, from the sympathy at times from the society of their fellows, in whom they inspire only disgust at seeing themselves as they are, portrayed in a mirror which, ceasing to flatter them, accentuates every blemish that they have refused to observe in themselves, and makes them understand that what they have been calling their love (a thing to which, playing upon the word, they have by association annexed all that poetry, painting, music, chivalry, asceticism have contrived to add to love) springs not from an ideal of beauty which they have chosen but from an incurable malady; like the Jews again (save some who will associate only with others of their race and have always on their lips ritual words and consecrated pleasantries), shunning one another, seeking out those who are most directly their opposite, who do not desire their company, pardoning their rebuffs, moved to ecstasy by their condescension; but also brought into the company of their own kind by the ostracism that strikes them, the opprobrium under which they have fallen, having finally been invested, by a persecution similar to that of Israel, with the physical and moral characteristics of a race, sometimes beautiful, often hideous, finding (in spite of all the mockery with which he who, more closely blended with, better assimilated to the opposing race, is relatively, in appearance, the least inverted, heaps upon him who has remained more so) a relief in frequenting the society of their kind, and even some corroboration of their own life, so much so that, while steadfastly denying that they are a race (the name of which is the vilest of insults), those who succeed in concealing the fact that they belong to it they readily unmask, with a view less to injuring them, though they have no scruple about that, than to excusing themselves; and, going in search (as a doctor seeks cases of appendicitis) of cases of inversion in history, taking pleasure in recalling that Socrates was one of themselves, as the Israelites claim that Jesus was one of them, without reflecting that there were no abnormals when -blam!--blam!-ity was the norm, no anti-Christians before Christ, that the disgrace alone makes the crime because it has allowed to survive only those who remained obdurate to every warning, to every example, to every punishment, by virtue of an innate disposition so peculiar that it is more repugnant to other men (even though it may be accompanied by exalted moral qualities) than certain other vices which exclude those qualities, such as theft, cruelty, breach of faith, vices better understood and so more readily excused by the generality of men; forming a freemasonry far more extensive, more powerful and less suspected than that of the Lodges, for it rests upon an identity of tastes, needs, habits, dangers, apprenticeship, knowledge, traffic, glossary, and one in which the members themselves, who intend not to know one another, recognise one another immediately by natural or conventional, involuntary or deliberate signs which indicate one of his congeners to the beggar in the street, in the great nobleman whose carriage door he is shutting, to the father in the suitor for his daughter's hand, to him who has sought healing, absolution, defence, in the doctor, the priest, the barrister to whom he has had recourse; all of them obliged to protect their own secret but having their part in a secret shared with the others, which the rest of humanity does not suspect and which means that to them the most wildly improbable tales of adventure seem true, for in this romantic, anachronistic life the ambassador is a bosom friend of the felon, the prince, with a certain independence of action with which his aristocratic breeding has furnished him, and which the trembling little cit would lack, on leaving the duchess's party goes off to confer in private with the hooligan; a reprobate part of the human whole, but an important part, suspected where it does not exist, flaunting itself, insolent and unpunished, where its existence is never guessed; numbering its adherents everywhere, among the people, in the army, in the church, in the prison, on the throne; living, in short, at least to a great extent, in a playful and perilous intimacy with the men of the other race, provoking them, playing with them by speaking of its vice as of something alien to it; a game that is rendered easy by the blindness or duplicity of the others, a game that may be kept up for years until the day of the scandal, on which these lion-tamers are devoured; until then, obliged to make a secret of their lives, to turn away their eyes from the things on which they would naturally fasten them, to fasten them upon those from which they would naturally turn away, to change the gender of many of the words in their vocabulary, a social constraint, slight in comparison with the inward constraint which their vice, or what is improperly so called, imposes upon them with regard not so much now to others as to themselves, and in such a way that to themselves it does not appear a vice. This is the way the world ends.


[Edited on 05.14.2012 4:07 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 3:49 PM PDT

Posted by: UnderTheKnif3
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader.
"All available units, prepare to ________________________


+7 for wubwub.

Disqualified for lack of narrative.

I am telling Hal that you biffed the drill.

  • 05.14.2012 3:53 PM PDT

-Watertribe-


Posted by: DeeJ
Posted by: UnderTheKnif3
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader.
"All available units, prepare to ________________________


+7 for wubwub.

Disqualified for lack of narrative.

I am telling Hal that you biffed the drill.
Two more days it too long, I demand that you make it Wednesday, noa!

  • 05.14.2012 3:56 PM PDT
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I so want to make this into a few comic panels with Rob Liefeld inspired art. There would be pouches. So many pouches.

Not enough time, though.

  • 05.14.2012 3:59 PM PDT

Games I like:,
Half-Minute Hero
MBU
Portal
Halo 3 is the best Halo ever
Maps I like: Turf, Avalanche, Pylon, Sandbox, Breakpoint and many more.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to switch urk's coffe to decaf!" The group of Bungie Haters swarmed the Snack Room of Bungie HQ, tainting it's sacredness. "Coffe has been switched sir!" shouted Jenkins, a young boy who hated Bungie because his Reach rank was reset.

"Move out BHate. We still need to trash Deej's office" the team leader transmitted over the comm.

"Hey, what are you doing?". The familiar voice of Jason Jones rang throught the snack room, making even the deep-fried, wrapped in bacon doughnuts shiver, leaving the Team Leader white-faced.



[Edited on 05.15.2012 4:45 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 4:02 PM PDT

DMH | TMA | Blueprint

Can't be too careful with your company. I can feel the devil walking next to me.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to dance!" Oonsk! Oonsk! Oonsk! Oonsk!

  • 05.14.2012 4:07 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Heroic Member

I enjoy magma.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to break and engage!" The fast-attack craft broke formation almost immediately, swerving in and out of enemy pulse and cannon fire, through broken and shattered hulls. Built sleek and subtle, to be lost in the frenzy of debris in these warzones, the clunkier Hakirian assault fighters couldn't keep up. They dodged the slow, heavy cannon fire with ease, moving up behind the enemy attack lance and opening fire with their short range missiles. As the smoke plumes cleared the pilots in the battalion of Argent Brilliance felt their stomachs sink at the sight of what was revealed.

  • 05.14.2012 4:11 PM PDT

I like shorts. They're comfy and easy to wear.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to fire the funyarinpa!"

"...What's a funyarinpa, captain?" asked private Pinkle.

"Why, that's practically blasphemy!" bellowed the captain. "Lieutenant, execute private Pinkle for his blasphemy!"

"Yes, sir!" said the lieutenant, and he shot Pinkle in the head with his water pistol.

  • 05.14.2012 4:11 PM PDT

I like shorts. They're comfy and easy to wear.

Posted by: Insane Monx

How many sentences was that? I lost count at some point during the first.

  • 05.14.2012 4:15 PM PDT

Oh hey there

Posted by: petarded2
It's a metaphor for the 07s' lack of identity. too old to be newfa­g, yet too new to be oldfa­g, we wander b.net in search of a home, forever trying to be something we are not.

Posted by: x Foman123 x
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to dance for your lives!"
You son of a -blam!- foman. I swear to god when I saw that sentence the first word that jumped into my mind was, DANCE!

I hate you so very much right now. So much so that my rage is blocking my creative writing abilities and I can't participate in the contest.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 4:16 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 4:15 PM PDT

I r guy who gun to teach u lesson


Posted by: Spartan1065
Posted by: x Foman123 x
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to dance for your lives!"
You son of a -blam!- foman. I swear to god when I saw that sentence the first word that jumped into my mind was, DANCE!

I hate you so very much right now. So much so that my rage is blocking my creative writing abilities and I can't participate in the contest.


He wrote that while I was still in my screen about my "awesome creative idea of making it about dancing"

I hit send and saw foman's post...hope was lost :P

Always next weeks challenge :)

  • 05.14.2012 4:23 PM PDT

My DeviantArt Gallery - For my Photoshop stuff, go have a look!

I got lost looking through all these posts. DeeJ, you get much respect for even trying this.

  • 05.14.2012 4:29 PM PDT

Well I guess I better put some pants on.

I feel like I'm gonna break this thing!

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to move out of the playground" he continued with as he noticed a couple of guys moving in on our position.
We could immediately tell that they were not up to any good when they started to pick a fight with us, which is when I realised it was no longer us, but I. All of my comrades had left me to take them on my own, but I didn't stand a chance. I returned home to my mother who was shocked by what happened to me. "You're moving with your auntie and uncle!" she exclaimed as she deemed the area we lived in to be unsafe for me to grow up in.

[Edited on 05.15.2012 11:35 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 5:21 PM PDT

baile045

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to engage! Be ready to make your final stand, for this is our darkest hour. You have trained well with the best. Let's go down in the books, boys.

  • 05.14.2012 5:25 PM PDT

"Except we, we're the zebras. All fenced in...and ready for the slaughter!"

||S-fen Knee-cheh
||19th Shock Troops Battalion

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to be spawn killed!"

the team leader quits.

"Looks like the team leader quit" explained Player 3

"Of course!" said Player 6 "as soon as things start looking grim he backs out."

"It's all good" replied Player 3, "We'll do better without him"
This short story was based on a true events.

Player 3 and 6 went on to win that game, 150 to 127.

"the team leader" went on to the lobby and was banned from matchmaking for fifteen minuites. He later logged onto bungie.net and made a thread titled, "I was band for no raision".

[Edited on 05.14.2012 6:18 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 5:37 PM PDT

HFCS verb \hiff-cix\
1 a: The act of using the Unleash Ninjas button, and performing a moderation act.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to get to cover!" This was the last thing I heard, the last thing I ever saw. I'm not a bad man, I try to do good. Yet, sometimes trouble seems to find me; I'm like a magnet for danger. If I had another chance to change things, I would.

Could I get some feedback on this? I'm not too sure about this.


[Edited on 05.14.2012 5:43 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 5:38 PM PDT
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Do you know about time travel?

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to throw the cheese." "Sir, they have swiss inbound!" exclaimed Sam.

  • 05.14.2012 5:48 PM PDT

If this is the state of my art, then I secede.

Posted by: DeeJ
Posted by: UnderTheKnif3
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader.
"All available units, prepare to ________________________


+7 for wubwub.

Disqualified for lack of narrative.

I am telling Hal that you biffed the drill.
My aren't we picky.. Fine.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader.
"All available units, prepare to F-F-F-Fight!


Narrative concluded. Also, tell Hal he still owes me dinner.

And while I'm here, add this to the OP. It'll be perfect.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 5:55 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 5:48 PM PDT

Key


Posted by: hunkyandrich
Does finishing the sentence you started count as additional? If so I need to edit.


I was under the impression that additional meant in addition to any sentence previously begun by the prompt itself.

So finish it, plus 4 more.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 5:52 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 5:50 PM PDT


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to evac! He yelled as he watched several men fall to plasma rifle fire. The Pelican's had to be close now, "how much longer?" The team leader shouted into the COM. Then he looked up and saw a cruiser charging its excavating beam, followed by a bright flash of white.

  • 05.14.2012 5:57 PM PDT


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to drop trou"

[Edited on 05.14.2012 6:07 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 6:05 PM PDT
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"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to leap!" The seven frogs all took off in a blaze of glory. The cockroaches began to show worry. In a matter of seconds, the cockroaches all quit. The frogs had won, not with a bang but with a ribbit.

  • 05.14.2012 6:17 PM PDT