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  • Subject: And now for something completely different...
Subject: And now for something completely different...

Bungie Community,

Happy Monday. How are you? Welcome to another week of wasting time on the Internet as one big, happy family.

I am breaking from what has become a standard operating procedure. Right about now, you might expect us to open a Mail Sack. Not this time. I won't allow you to anticipate our maneuvers. To keep things fresh, I am shutting down the mailroom. Don't worry. It will come back next week.

To prove that we actually read all of the mail that pours from the Sack, I am responding to some feedback that I have collected from you. This Friday, instead of our usual Question/Answer session, I will be giving you a glimpse at life in our studio with a story about something we are doing to herald the return of sunny skies in the Pacific Northwest (this is a metaphor about spring, not the end of darkness).

To not leave you completely silent, or deprive you of your weekly chance to win Bungie swag, I am conducting a stand-alone challenge. Call it a Community "Write Along". (see what I did there?) Rather than test your design skills, we are inviting you to craft your own prose.

Here's the pitch: Together, we will write a very short story. I will write the beginning. You will write the middle and the end. Take this opening sentence and spin out your own conclusion.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ________________________..."

Fill in the blank, and add no more than 4 additional sentences.

You may enter this contest once, so make your submission a good one. Post your response here. You have until Wednesday morning. Don't ask me when. If the sun is in the sky, your story should be nigh. Through our usual expression of tyranny, we will select 7 finalists. You will select the winner.

  • 05.14.2012 11:33 AM PDT

-Watertribe-

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to open fire". The sound of the team leader faded, only to be overcome by the repetitive crack of bullets. Smoke dissipated at the end of the barrel, and the masked soldier looked up with eyes as barren as life in a desert. He radioed the team leader to report the kills in today's battle. Then the masked soldier wrapped himself in a blanket, cleaned his weapon, and sank into his foxhole, waiting for the next agonizing battle.


Posted by: DeeJ
Happy Monday


Happy Monday!

[Edited on 05.15.2012 3:55 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:34 AM PDT

Second.

Posted by: DeeJ
I will be giving you a glimpse at life in our studio with a story about something we are doing to herald the return of sunny skies in the Pacific Northwest (this is a metaphor about spring, not the end of darkness).
Thank you!!!! *sigh of relief* :)


I will edit this post later for my submission below:
Reserved

[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:48 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:37 AM PDT
  •  | 
  • Fabled Legendary Member

ODST Expeditionary Force I The WorkPLace I Mythics
Technically Mythic
Posted by: Cobravert
I just saw a green monkey nut shot a small tan lizard(?) in a gunny sack.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to run away in the other direction, screaming like little girls!"



[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:38 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:37 AM PDT

Feel free to send me messages, please be willing to wait 6-8 years for a reply.

1-7 hours if you at least tried to make it readable.

Immediately if you are Yax, Telec, or legendary.

Never if you are mythic, you guys smell funny.


Posted by: DeeJ


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ________________________..."




"Moon the enemy!" Shouted William, throwing his shield down. "When they fire, raise your shields and protect yourselves!"

"Except you Patrick, keep mooning no matter what, if this ever happens to be turned into a movie, you getting hit in the butt with some kind of projectile, it could be very funny!"


The enemy then attacked, and then a bloody battle began, one side happened to win.


The end.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:47 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:39 AM PDT


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to RELEASE THE BACON! 7 cannons filled with heavy, thick cut, military grade bacon were loaded. The weapons stopped the enemy with orgasmic amounts of deliciousness. Victorious, the team leader ordered the finishing of the remaining bacon. Thanks to the power of the military grade bacon, all was well.



[Edited on 05.14.2012 12:06 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:39 AM PDT

I might give this a go. My writing skills are kind of lacking though.

EDIT:
"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to activate Armour Lock".

As a storm of grenades rained down around them the team all activated Armour Lock. As they all emerged unharmed the team leader screamed "ADAPT!"

The hostile forces were so mad they all fell into a rage induced coma.


Yeah, I decided to go with humour, nothing was coming to me...

[Edited on 05.14.2012 1:27 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:39 AM PDT

Posted by: antony X1000
I might give this a go. My writing skills are kind of lacking though.


That's your one entry.

Spoiler: As it stands, you ain't gonna win.

You can edit that post, if you like.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:44 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:44 AM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

This is cool. I can only write well when I'm in the mood. :(

Either way I looks forward to what DeeJ has in store for us on Friday.

  • 05.14.2012 11:44 AM PDT

http://www.capturemyhaloclips.com/ - Get your Halo clips captured.
The Artists Corner - Show other members your artistic talent.
Storywrite - Where I am writing my book.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to abandon all hope and start betraying each other! Don't worry, you will all respawn after 3 seconds. This is Halo multiplayer after all!"

"Sir, we could use our secret weapon" one of the soldiers suggested.

The team leader looked at the soldier and nodded, "You're right. Bring out ... the Ban-Hammer!"

[Edited on 05.14.2012 3:34 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:44 AM PDT

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.

As you waste your breath complaining about life, Someone out there is breathing their last. Appreciate what you have.

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.

We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to butt secks.

  • 05.14.2012 11:45 AM PDT

I love this contest. I have an English exam on Wednesday what a coincidence! How about you get one of your writers to choose his/her favorite entry?


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to open fire!" "I'm a cowardly fool!" said Private A. Coward. "Oh -blam!-!! Our leader has been killed! RUN AWAY!!!"

[Edited on 05.14.2012 12:00 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:48 AM PDT

He threw down a glove you made the mistake
Of picking it up now you're gone
The choosing of guns or fighting with swords
The choice of weapons is done
He'll tear you apart as soon as you start
You know you don't have a chance.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare the Hawkmen. Hawkmen, DIIIIIIVE!"

  • 05.14.2012 11:49 AM PDT

real gamertag is mvyorkie009

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1169280822&v=wall& amp;story_fbid=133425540008015&r833fa4ca&m_sess=1h8bm 6-msvlrePs&rb9441a98#!/profile.php?id=630409792
yorkie

ok here is mine

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ________________________..."
have at stosh's mom one last time, be sure to take lots of pictures to upload to bnet. If the wall doesnt hold up they will take her for themselves.
yorkie

[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:57 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:50 AM PDT

I'm going to make mine slitley serious, so here we go!

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to ambush Bungie's HQ!" "But Sarge!? What if we don't come back out alive? What if Jerome gets to us first?" asked Luis. "Son, the worst they have is toast, Jerome is a myth." replied the team leader.

I wish these could be longer DeeJ, I would love to write a serious story out of this.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 11:54 AM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:52 AM PDT

Aspiring Bungie Tester

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to unleash the Jerome!"

And that, children, is how over 30 galactic species were eradicated in a single day. As Jerome's gravity hammer hummed through bone and flesh, the sound of a million voices crying out in pain were swiftly silenced. World domination was no longer a distant future. Marty, the team leader, smiled and whistled a haunting tune.

  • 05.14.2012 11:53 AM PDT

Deej that is both an amazing 'Mailsack' and a fantastic contest. Thank you for listening. I'm quite happy. Not about winning a prize (I mean, I'd kill to have a Marty signed something don't get me wrong), but just the whole thing.


"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to disengage I repeat: DISENGAGE!"
The men scramble backwards, one tripping over the rubble left from the last strike, fracturing a bone in his leg.
"Come back- for the love of God help me, someone!"
"Sir what is WRONG with you we can't just leave him there!" shouts a soldier as he sprints away from the carnage.
The Team Leader, still in motion, looks beside him... and in a single fluid motion adds one more to the count.



... Eh. I tried. At least it's something you don't need to have mad art skills to win, so I'm happy regardless.
:P

[Edited on 05.14.2012 12:00 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 11:59 AM PDT
  • gamertag: jinrat
  • user homepage:

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to man the slingshot. "I don't care if we're vulnerable, we'll shoot them into the sun!" At this point, Marty started laughing uncontrollably as DeeJ primed the slingshot but got himself tangled. It released at once and the last thing that was heard from DeeJ was, "see you starsideeeeeeeeeeeee."

  • 05.14.2012 12:00 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Destinypedia - The Wiki for Bungie's Destiny
Posted by: DEATHPIMP72
Anyone but Foman. He smells like cheese.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to dance for your lives!"

As the enemy combatants menacingly approached from across the battlefield, they broke into a dangerous-looking Lambada, synchronously turning and spinning with Archimedian precision. Bright sequins on melon-colored leotards bounced dazzling, multifaceted reflections of sparkling light in the same terrifying way that a hungry lion stalks an oblivious baby gazelle.

Grimly, the team leader adjusted his pristine battle fedora to its jauntiest possible angle and double-checked the polish on his tap shoes.

"Gentlemen," he announced as he slowly clasped his partner's hand and assumed a ferocious opening pose for the Cha Cha, "we have a date with destiny; and this time, we might get to second base."

[Edited on 05.14.2012 1:28 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 12:01 PM PDT

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to, prepare to, prepa...." David punched the radio. It's busted. Listening to the audio recordings his father sent back from war was all he had left to remember him.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 12:58 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 12:01 PM PDT

if(!now){when();}
Bungie Favorite Author : Iris::1
Map

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to fire the main gauss cannon!", barked the Captain.

The Captain is a surly man with a long braided beard, orange like a red dawn, and frizzled long hair. As he stands tall behind his console, flickering lights from situational data being displayed shows the consern on his war torn face.

In the background a subordinate yells, "Main gauss cannon is online."

The Captian yells, "Fire", just as the enemy breaches the door of the command center.

[Edited on 05.14.2012 12:54 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 12:03 PM PDT

I r guy who gun to teach u lesson

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to Dance!"

"Are you sure Urk? Their mad skills may be to much for us!" said Deej.

"Yes I am positive! Quick Jerome, do the worm!" responded Urk. Then Jerome did the worm all around them and the enemy perished.

THE END.

EDIT: NINJA'D by a ninja with an epic story ;(


[Edited on 05.14.2012 3:30 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 12:08 PM PDT

Owning Noobs Since 05

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

Jim Harkins

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to Unleash the sneaky beaver..."


Posted by: DeeJ
Happy Monday


wat........

Posted by: DeeJ
Happy


I don't think that word means what you think it means.

  • 05.14.2012 12:09 PM PDT

"I'm uncomfortable."
-True Underdog
Young Grasshopper of The Year: ChorrizoTapatio 2012

A little bit of sausage, a little bit of hot sauce, a whole lot of awesome. Have a question? Ask me!
Chapter

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to defend this position! We may not be able to defeat them, but we will sure as hell give them the fight of their damn lives!" The sound of gunfire then pierced my ears, the drops of sweat now began to slide down my forehead, my hands trembled as I readied my weapon, the fight was imminent, we were gravely out numbered, and I was ready to lay down my life for my brothers, my sisters, my family, and my country. There is no denying it, this is the end. I know not where death takes me after he reaps my soul, but I do know that I will not fall alone and I will fight alongside my allies until the bitter end and sweet release.



[Edited on 05.14.2012 6:41 PM PDT]

  • 05.14.2012 12:10 PM PDT

I think DLC is a pretty cool guy. eh give us new mapz and doesnt afraid of anything.

"We are wide open to attack!" shouted the team leader. "All available units, prepare to Capture that Flag.

Their Elephant barreling full speed at all eight of us and our four mongeese, but we couldnt stop, we had to finish our mission.

We plowed into the front of the elephant flipping it onto its side, grabbing the flag and retreating.

Team leader was left among the pile of remaining mongeese and the elephant when all of the sudd...

Wait, what How did he do that?

  • 05.14.2012 12:30 PM PDT