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Posted by: Hollows
If you are easily offended, go fuck yourself.
Pretzels (The oG one) has graced Pistol Squed Alfa with his presence long enough to present this little update about the group. (i.e. a thinly disguised rant about Reach.)
First off, what the fuck is wrong with this game's host selection? You may as well be shooting cotton fucking candy if you're playing anyone outside of America. Better netcode my ass, the god damn game can't even play for ten seconds before some random ragequits and sends the game into a ten minute long blackscreen.
Second, the maps in this game are atrocious. Bungie didn't do anything right with the original release, and 343 somehow managed to fuck it up even worse with all these retarded BTB heavies variants and awful TS maps that look like some five year old kicked down a lego tower and thought it would be a good idea for a video game. Did anybody test Assphalt before they realized that every time you boost in a Covie vehicle, you go flying into deep space like you're fucking Superman? Doesn't anybody realize that dynamic spawns on symmetrical maps are completely retarded?
And holy shit, let's not even get into the armor abilities. People can talk about how they "add strategy" and some other bullshit I don't care about. I don't care what you say, Armor Locking my sword is not strategy, invis crouching like a little bitch is not strategy and jetpacking fifty feet up into the air and throwing fifty bajillion grenades at me is NOT a strategy. Did I mention that grenades are retarded? Because they are FUCKING retarded. Who thought it would be a good idea to make them follow you?
The playlist options are completely stupid. Who thought it would be a good idea to put two Team Slayer playlists in the game? Why would they remove something that had a reasonable population to put something in that tanked harder than Team Classic? And what the hell was the point of making that god damn Super Slayer playlist if you're going to put party restrictions in it anyways? Wasn't that the fucking point of Squad Slayer? God damn, 343, you're retarded.
Bottom line, Reach is retarded, and thinking anything other than MLG Reach is good deserves immediate execution by electric chair.
EDIT: No. Not by electric chair. If you like default reach, you should be shoved underneath a rolling ball of shit, and rolled into the gaping anus of the god damn Batman.
[Edited on 05.15.2012 8:39 PM PDT]