- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
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Here's our "Idiots Guide to Trash Talking":
Now before I get into the trashtalking tips, I would like to tell about a little experience that I had a little while back. So I was walking down the street, when this guy came up to me and started talking to me. And he was like, “hey, I know you, you’re El Bofo right? The legendary trashtalker?” And I humbly responded, “um, I’m El Bofo, but I’m not that much of an expert.” And this dude was like, “well, I’ve got a little bit of a problem. I keep trying to trashtalk but I just can’t seem to get it right. I can never come up with witty remarks and nobody ever understands my trashtalk.” Then I said, “mmm hmm, I see.” This guy then says, “I’m just an overall bad trashtalker and I was just wondering if you have any tips to make me better at it?” Finally, I said, “Don’t worry Ben [N3crosis], I can help you work through your trashtalking issues.”
So, in this article I will give some easy and effective tips to improve your trashtalking abilities and habits. And N3crosis, this will help you work through your trashtalk problems (and I fully support you in your choice to talk to a doctor about the big V.)
There are two different situations in which you can effectively use trashtalk. On xbox live, or with other people present. Make sure that your trashtalk is appropriate for how you are playing.
On xbox live, it is important to be polite, unless the other person starts something. Just because you are anonymous doesn’t mean you can be a jerk. Don’t cuss or use inappropriate racial comments especially to people on your team. (One more thing to white people, don’t use the N-word. I can tell if you are white and you know that if a black person was sitting next to you you’d get punched in your face.) The best trashtalking is often done in response to someone else bragging or attempting to trashtalk (being a jerk.) So, be polite when on xbox live, unless the other person starts something.
Example:
Player 1 (starts something): Oh yeah, I rule! Who’s the man?
Player 2: Your mom’s the man!
However, playing Halo in person is totally different. In person, initiating trashtalk is one of the most entertaining parts of the game. You don’t have to follow xbox live rules or act dignified and can start stuff all you want (you just get smacked if you act like a jerk.) When initiating trashtalk, you should make sure that you have either done something cool, the other team is whining or has done something cheap or stupid. If you know that your opponent has a cheap strategy (like camping) then you should think up some clever remarks ahead of time.
Example:
Player 2: Hey player 2, can I borrow a sleeping bag?
Player 1: um…. Sure why?
Player 2: Because with all of the camping you do I figure you’d have some really nice ones.
(Whoa, zing!)
Also, insulting people’s mamas and intelligence are usually good for on the spot comebacks. Learning to master the your mom retort is a habit that indicates talent in a trashtalker, you should practice it sometime.
Example:
Player 1: What? That kill was cheap!
Player 2: Yo mama’s cheap.
Or
Player 1: That kill was amazing, oh yeah, I’m a G.
Player 2: You can’t even spell G.
When effectively used trashtalk can dent a person’s confidence and make the people around you laugh, that’s when you know that you’ve done something right. If there’s an awkward silence while people try to figure out what you just said, you might have just messed up.
Finally, make sure that your retorts make sense, don’t take the joke too far and stop trashtalking if your voice is so high and squeaky that it sounds like you're breathing Helium.
Good Stuff. Join now for all this and much, much more.