- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
The following is not true... at all.
During the slipspace jump, Master Chief was caught on board the forerunner ship by Truth's Brutes. He was taken to Truth where they played a game of paper rock scissors. Master Chief lost and had to give Truth his armor. (that's just the rules in strip RPS) Truth found that, while it fit on him fairly tight, MC's armor was very sleek, and the ladies loved it.
The Spartan in the trailer is in fact Truth coming to inspect how the Dig is going.
The covenant aren't looking for the ark, but for the Startgate burried under the explosive coverstones. The bright light is the Goa'uld dialing earth to try and thwart a cunning group of Humans stopping them with wits and sassy lines.
Daniel Jackson plays Master Chief... as a celestial being... who isn't supposed to change the outcome of anything... whatsoever.
Cortana is scheduled to appear in the next Dead or Alive.
The Warthog is scheduled to appear in the next Burnout game.
Grunts are scheduled to appear in the next issue of playboy. (foodnipple footage)
The Halo books are actually Canon, designed to blow the original story line out of the water, so that fans of the Halo series can pick through the remains, and create horrific frankenstein theories out of the debris!
Cortana went crazy from having to listen to the Gravemind talk.
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These are some of the easter eggs to come in Halo 3:
- A diamond can barely be seen on the outer edge of a Halo ring. This is a reference to Katamari Damacy, and the marriage of the King and Queen.
- Grunts now scream "Can't touch this" and dance like MC Hammer if you turn around backwards and upside down... while pressing... Q.
- Master Chief catches on fire in the last level when he finds out that Cortana is his distant cousin, and is also Dr. Halsey's grandson, who just happens to also be... Johnson's... fiance. You can only get this alternate ending by grabbing Sargent Johnson's butt with an Elite near by.
- A warning sign has a grunt on it. Oh wait that actually IS an easter egg.. Ummm... a warning sign has a picture of... michael jackson on it... chasing a small boy.
- Sticky nades are still in the game along with: scratchy nades, s-blam!- nades, spikey nades, sparkly nades, spiffy nades, smashing nades, snorkling nades, spelunking nades, and of course... sexy nades. Sexy nades are unlockable after beating the game on... really really hard mode. Which is like... listening to Paris Hilton sing.
- You breifly see Master Chief without his helmet on in one of the levels and he looks like...
- Frankie
- Shishka
- Bill Gates
- A grunt
- Chewy
- Mike Tyson
- Cortana
- Dr. Halsey's twin sister who's actually a man.
- Sargent Johnson... somehow.
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The reason why the covenant didn't kill Master Chief is because he has B.O.
The Humans didn't put up a fight because they were busy watching "Survivor - Outer Planets!"
Hunters allie with the Humans and give MC a big hug to show their friendship.
Hunters attend the funeral of MC after a tragic hugging incident.
The arbitor is in the first few seconds of the game, but is quickly killed allowing millions of people to not have to suffer Schizophrenia yet again.
Ghosts can now travel though walls. Wraiths can now ignore master chief and go chase Frodo. Phantoms no longer fly in the sky, but play creepy music under theatres. The Specter goes back to appearing in DC comics.
Red vs. Blue make a guest appearance as the voices of the Flood!
"Gurgle argh grunt whine blargh gurgle?"
(You ever wonder why we're here?)
"Gurgle gak gloopty garf yargh whine belch gurgle."
(It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it.)