Off Topic: The Flood
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Subject: Eight months ago, at 343 Industries...

Get ruled.

Employee 1: Guys, guys. We need to develop the armor for multiplayer.

Bossman: What have ya got in mind, chum?

Employee 1: I was thinking we bring back the besties, such as Rogue, Hayabusa, Commando, Scout, and others, while adding sleek new armor variants for the Mark 7 suit that look like something that would really intimidate an alien force, and have some military purpose.

Employee 2: Oh, oh, but what about bubbles?

Employee 1: Bubbles?

Employee 2: Yeah, yeah, we take a suit of armor, and give it lots of bubbles for a visor. Amirite?

Employee 1: What?

Bossman: Listen chum, I'm loving your idea. I'm loving every second of it. Might I add to what chum 2 said?

Employee 1: Uh, sure...

Bossman: Okay, let's not bring any old armor back. Except mark 6, that can stay. Out with the old, in with the new. Now, let's create brand new sets of armor that are difficult to tell apart, are randomly thrown together without being thought through, and make them all ugly as -blam!-.

Employee 2: Hot damn. That's good.

Employee 1: Wait, what?

Employee 2: SKINS.

Bossman and Employee 1: Skins?

Employee 2: Let's take what we like about Call of Duty, where you can make sexy, hideous gun skins that only a 13 year old would like, and ADD THEM TO HALO. EVEN TO ALIEN WEAPONS.

Bossman: I think I just orgasmed.

Employee 1: What are you guys on? This isn't Halo! These are awful ideas!

Bossman: Exclusive armor should come with the six billion dollar special Xbox edition.

Employee 2: It should be sleek, thought through, and intimidating.

Employee 1: YES! FINALLY!

Bossman: Now let's add a unicorn horn.

Employee 1: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MINDS?

Bossman: We're letting you go, chum.

Employee 1: WHAT? WHY?

Bossman: You clearly don't give a damn about this game. Your heart isn't into it. I'd say you're even trying to sabotage it.

Employee 1: B-b-but?

Bossman: Out.

... Moments after Employee 1 leaves...

Employee 2: Hey Boss, you know what the fans would REALLY love?

Bossman: What?

Employee 2: Keeping the Covenant in the game. Removing Firefight, and not doing anything extraordinary with Forge.

Bossman: Marry me?

Employee 2: And also loadouts.

Bossman: Sex. Now.

THE END.

[Edited on 08.22.2012 8:05 PM PDT]

  • 08.22.2012 7:58 PM PST

Posted by: Kneecap
I keep on getting in conversations with a person who calls me John.

The employees really like to say chum, don't they?

  • 08.22.2012 7:58 PM PST

I don't play "hide-and-seek", I play "hide-and-hope-I-don't-find-you."

9.8/10.

Nicely done OP.

  • 08.22.2012 7:59 PM PST
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  • Intrepid Legendary Member

I Love Lamp. And Ender's Game. Don't tell Lamp.

Is this comedy where you come from?

  • 08.22.2012 7:59 PM PST

No

10/10

I lol'd

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST
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LeaveItYeah

Bravo, I enjoyed that read.

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST

OP is mad.

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST

I like Halo reach and i dislike Halo 3. Problem?

i lol'd

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST

I'm really getting tired of The Flood's shenanigans.

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST

Report and move on people

  • 08.22.2012 8:00 PM PST

Posted by: nofatchicks6921
Step 8: Kill Th3 Invader

I laughed. My favorite part was Bubbles and FOTUS.

  • 08.22.2012 8:03 PM PST
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Posted by: TFU244
Is this comedy where you come from?

  • 08.22.2012 8:05 PM PST

10/10 would read again

  • 08.22.2012 8:05 PM PST

I gaze upon the stars and see the majesty that is the universe.


EGO mos bulla astrum.

Meh. Could've used more applesauce.

  • 08.22.2012 8:07 PM PST
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Genabis, Exobus, Levitibus.

~Greensleeves.

>mfwAlthough old armors are back and the new armors' looks are purely subjective, I find rather them pleasing.

  • 08.22.2012 8:07 PM PST

Get ruled.


Posted by: ArtooFeva
Meh. Could've used more applesauce.


Valid point.

  • 08.22.2012 8:08 PM PST

"I will show you how a true Prussian officer fights!"

"And i will show you where the iron crosses grow..."

- "Cross of Iron"

Ill admit it, i laughed.

  • 08.22.2012 8:08 PM PST
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*wonders how New Clan Recruitment For Shadow Pack thread gets 55 replies*

*reads "Hi I'm Ashley. . ." *

[Question Answered]

*proceeds to read on, shakes head, and gently laughs*

I stopped listening to Employee 1 when he said "I was thinking we bring back the besties, such as Rogue, Hayabusa, Commando, Scout"

  • 08.22.2012 8:09 PM PST
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  • Intrepid Member
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RAWR!

Haha very true, 343 is horrible.

Also don't forget that if you buy the special limited addition you get all 10 of the specialization unlocked from the getgo! Totally fair.

[Edited on 08.22.2012 8:13 PM PDT]

  • 08.22.2012 8:11 PM PST

You shall not pass!

I laughed.

  • 08.22.2012 8:12 PM PST
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I aim to please.

hazop armor master race

  • 08.22.2012 8:13 PM PST

Life will always find a new way to ruin everything you know, enjoy the moments of peace to their fullest and prepare yourself for the lemons that are heading your way and you might just make it.


Remember Elk


Posted by: Raptorx7
Ill admit it, i laughed.

  • 08.22.2012 8:14 PM PST

What a waste....

:I

Wait they took out Firerfight?

wat

[Edited on 08.22.2012 8:15 PM PDT]

  • 08.22.2012 8:14 PM PST

The sad thing is that this is mostly true.

  • 08.22.2012 8:14 PM PST

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