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Subject: The History of the Mancannon
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Destinypedia - The Wiki for Bungie's Destiny
Posted by: DEATHPIMP72
Anyone but Foman. He smells like cheese.

Al the Forerunner sighed with satisfaction. He had finally finished his greatest invention, and it was working to perfection.

Stepping back to wipe a thin sheen of sweat from his brow with a well-used shop towel, Al admired the sleek purple curves and electric blue wind that unnecessarily blew out at a 45-degree angle.

"This," Al said to himself, "will change our Forerunner civilization forever." Nodding sagely to himself, Al could already imagine the statues honoring him and the Forerunner streets and schools that would be named "Al" in his memory.

Lugging his new invention outside in a small rickety red wagon, Al shouted to the townsfolk to come gather 'round. Curious at the whooshing contraption, several Forerunners gathered at the town's central plaza to find out what exactly was going on. Most, however, rolled their eyes and kept on about their business.

"WITNESS, brethren, the future of the Forerunner!" Al grandly proclaimed.

"What does it do?" a bystander shouted.

"It shoots people, objects, and plasma grenades several hundred yards in the blink of an eye!" replied Al, glowing with excitement.

There was a long, silent pause in the crowd. Finally, someone spoke up.

"Why?"

Although several bystanders nodded their agreement with this question, Al ignored it, knowing that his demonstration would answer all questions and likely make him the most famous Forerunner in history.

Al was, of course, wearing his most regal-looking robe. Sweeping his arms wide with kingly benevolence, he proclaimed, "Watch as I step from the lowly ground upon which you walk into the realm of the gods!! Behold, the MAN CANNON!!"

Al gingerly placed a foot into the man cannon and immediately shot several hundred feet into the air, moving forwards at an incredible speed. For a moment, the crowd "ooh'd" and "ahh'd" as it seemed that Al's ascent to the heavens would never end and, as he predicted, he would soon be a god amongst men.

Just at that moment, however, the "oohs" and "ahhs" died out as gravity began to pull Al back to the ground. Al, plummeting confusedly, began flailing his arms wildly, trying to flap his way back into the sky. Seconds later, he crashed face first into the ground several hundred yards away. Sliding a hundred feet in the dirt, Al's body created a deep trough as small animals and bugs scattered out of the way.

It would have been quite humorous, except that Al was clearly dead on impact. The crowd, stunned, stared for a moment. Then, looking at each other, began asking, "So.... it looks like he made thousands of these 'mancannon' things. What do we do with them?"

"Stick 'em in the Forge warehouse," they all agreed. "Maybe somebody can make some use of them in a few thousand years."

[Edited on 09.05.2012 12:47 PM PDT]

  • 09.05.2012 12:44 PM PDT

(^}>

Needs more Dragons.


Okay seriously though, that was great, I laughed out loud.

[Edited on 09.05.2012 1:07 PM PDT]

  • 09.05.2012 1:04 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

A Fo-Fic?! It seems like only yesterday the crisis of locked fan fictions was going down... :P

Poor Al, I may well have to stop using those villainous Man Cannons in Forge after learning their vile origins of being birthed in an innocent Forerunner's blood, and the counless Spartans and Elites who have further fallen prey to such devious contraptions.

  • 09.05.2012 1:27 PM PDT

Poor AI, but nicely done FoMan. Wasn't expecting to see this on my daily trip to the Gallery Forum.

And, wow, it's already a Top Forum Topic.

  • 09.05.2012 1:41 PM PDT
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u wot m8

  • 09.05.2012 4:08 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Mythic Member

I came for Halo, but I heard the Tru7h, fought thru Carnage, and stayed for Bungie.

No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.--Teddy Roosevelt

I can't wait for the prequel where Al invents the hyper-lethal traffic cone.

[Edited on 09.05.2012 5:06 PM PDT]

  • 09.05.2012 4:41 PM PDT

Checking out my profile I see?

Poor Al, he flew too close to the sun.

  • 09.05.2012 7:06 PM PDT

If we disagree, it's nothing personal, opinions are opinions.
Antagonizing me to build a false sense of worth is so damn cute.

Brighten your day with science.

I lol'd.

  • 09.05.2012 11:52 PM PDT

Welcome to the town of "Diligence." I'm Mayor Due.

Great story! Thanks for the laugh. And damn well written.
I was there man...

  • 09.06.2012 3:56 AM PDT

Spread the love...

Short and sweet. I liked it :)

  • 09.06.2012 9:06 PM PDT

Posted by: Great_Pretender
Case and point: don't worry about it. Girls start getting boobies pretty soon, and then you'll have plenty of other things to think about. Being an Inheritor is not a life goal.
-TGP-

So nothing as to how he came up with the name "mancannon"? Surely this will be in the prequel.

  • 09.07.2012 12:50 AM PDT

Posted by: Enormous Corgi
Posted by: Unanimate Objec
There's no way Nate Hawbaker's favorite hero is Alan Stuart


ALAN IS A BEAUTIFUL MAN!

Oh my, that was too funny.

  • 09.07.2012 3:10 AM PDT

Hey I am a big Bungie fan ever since I played Halo 2. I love the series, I love Bungie. I have made a few Bungie logos in my metal shop.

I didn't know you could write comedy foman or write anything for that matter. But i was really good.

  • 09.07.2012 10:57 AM PDT
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I'm gonna finish it. Just like Jigga did to the pyramid.

this is one of those moments where I ask, what the -blam!- did I just read.

  • 09.23.2012 11:29 AM PDT

Foman, I thought you were really busy atm.. then you go and write this?! Awesome, this better be added to halopedia.

xD

  • 09.23.2012 1:42 PM PDT

'Remember, fear leads to anger. Anger leads to Hate. And hate leads to mancannon's.'

A great fic. Though I preferred your Gravemind story. Hope we can see more of your fiction in the near future.

  • 09.25.2012 1:04 AM PDT

lolnope.

9/10 foman. I loved this dude.

  • 09.25.2012 12:56 PM PDT

"Life to you stepson and everlasting glory. " Thifes World.

It was intersting. Allways glad to see a satire.

  • 09.30.2012 4:04 PM PDT

An assassin will always carry on, even after death.

I loved this story. Hilarious, poor Al though.

  • 09.30.2012 4:13 PM PDT
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"I know not what weapons World War III will be fought with, but I do know that World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

-Albert Einstein

+1 internets to Foman.

Great read though.

  • 10.01.2012 4:49 PM PDT

Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien.
Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar.
tenn' Ambar-metta!

I love this story short and still deep.


Btw why is Foman banned?

  • 10.03.2012 7:03 AM PDT

The HELL you are! These are precious gifts to me and they are non-transferable! How dare you regift my challenge prize. You might as well hock a wedding ring for beer money. -DeeJ


Posted by: MasterSin
why is Foman banned?
This.
Posted by: DeeJ
I have begrudgingly declared Foman the winner. I have also permabanned him from Bungie.net for not taking the challenge seriously, and creating a mockery of my literary movement before it could even get off the ground.

I hope it was worth it. I really do.

Does anyone have a copy of the story? I want to read it.

[Edited on 10.03.2012 7:10 AM PDT]

  • 10.03.2012 7:10 AM PDT

Et Eärello Endorenna utúlien.
Sinome maruvan ar Hildinyar.
tenn' Ambar-metta!


Posted by: DarkestSeptagon

Posted by: MasterSin
why is Foman banned?
This.
Posted by: DeeJ
I have begrudgingly declared Foman the winner. I have also permabanned him from Bungie.net for not taking the challenge seriously, and creating a mockery of my literary movement before it could even get off the ground.

I hope it was worth it. I really do.

Does anyone have a copy of the story? I want to read it.


I liked Fomans contest thingy just as the Mancannon. He is a good writer!

>.>

<.<

>.>

.........

Cof!

  • 10.04.2012 7:50 AM PDT

Per Audacia Ad Astra

10/10, feed me more (plz).

I am incredibly inspired by this and now I want to write my own short Halo stories.

[Edited on 11.16.2012 10:50 AM PST]

  • 11.16.2012 10:48 AM PDT

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