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  • Subject: At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?

I found out when i was eating ice cream at i think age 6.

It tasted bittersweet that day.

  • 11.27.2012 2:44 PM PDT

I started to get skeptical about it when I was 7 and I concluded he wasn't real when I was 10. I was never told officially by my parents.

  • 11.27.2012 2:44 PM PDT
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Around 5 or 6. I was kinda bummed for a bit, But I still like to entertain the idea of a jolly fat man giving gifts to everybody.

  • 11.27.2012 2:44 PM PDT

Numba one Italian on da flud.

:(
around 7

  • 11.27.2012 2:44 PM PDT

On the Left

Godshatter: I can go all the way with someone without being attracted to them.
CamCamm: How does that work?
Godshatter: I'm easily aroused by anything that moves. It's a curse.
Brain says 'No, that's ugly', body says 'ugly is fine with me'.

On my own. Didnt phase me.

  • 11.27.2012 2:45 PM PDT


Posted by: Opt1mu5Pr1m3 15
Warning: Wall of text.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 millions stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion. Santa is dead. Merry Christmas fools.

He must have some badass raindeers, to carry 4,315,015 pounds at 650M/S.

  • 11.27.2012 2:48 PM PDT

@Vinyl_Hb

In fourth grade... Sooo 9?

My teacher told me, my mom was livid. She called her up on the phone that day and -blam!-ed her ear off

  • 11.27.2012 2:49 PM PDT


Posted by: elsnben
He must have some badass raindeers, to carry 4,315,015 pounds at 650M/S.


Yes but he would be dead before he even got off the runway.

  • 11.27.2012 2:50 PM PDT
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GrownPrism is NOT my gt. Happened when signing into my xbox live account. My real gt is here:

http://www.bungie.net/Stats/Reach/Default.aspx?player=SYNTHES lS&sg=0

Ten.

  • 11.27.2012 2:51 PM PDT

Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.

Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

Here's my story

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

  • 11.27.2012 2:51 PM PDT

"I actually don't hold a grudge against someone talking trash about me if they're shot afterwards, I try to rise above that "

Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind

'bout 8.

  • 11.27.2012 2:52 PM PDT
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About 10 years old.

  • 11.27.2012 3:04 PM PDT

My Brahman is ready.


Posted by: Garem
...w-what? Santa's not real?!

  • 11.27.2012 3:05 PM PDT
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Posted by: WhitestKidUKnow
Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: WhitestKidUKnow
He isn't real?!?


Whose lap was I sitting on then?!?

Does this mean that you won't be coming back to visit this year?

I'll have to make alternate plans if not.
Depends, will I still get that toy train?


I'm here for you. It's my job to help -blam!- abuse victims. Let it all out young lad.

  • 11.27.2012 3:06 PM PDT

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
- Dr. Seuss


Posted by: MyNameIsCharlie
Here's my story

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

That's a copy and paste from somewhere, because I've read this before...

  • 11.27.2012 3:07 PM PDT

Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.

Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith


Posted by: Iron Div is Pro

Posted by: WhitestKidUKnow
Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: WhitestKidUKnow
He isn't real?!?


Whose lap was I sitting on then?!?

Does this mean that you won't be coming back to visit this year?

I'll have to make alternate plans if not.
Depends, will I still get that toy train?


I'm here for you. It's my job to help -blam!- abuse victims. Let it all out young lad.
Wait...you told me you were a writer for an adult magazine...

  • 11.27.2012 3:07 PM PDT
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  • Intrepid Legendary Member

I Love Lamp. And Ender's Game. Don't tell Lamp.

5th grade, I think. I just happened to see the receipt for my lego set on the computer.

  • 11.27.2012 3:08 PM PDT
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Steam - slamt4stic
Live - SLAMt4stic

Seven

  • 11.27.2012 3:09 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Intrepid Legendary Member

I Love Lamp. And Ender's Game. Don't tell Lamp.


Posted by: MyNameIsCharlie
Here's my story

It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.


Gremlins?

  • 11.27.2012 3:09 PM PDT

My parents never fed me lies about the holidays. I won't tell my kids that there's a jolly fellow that gives out gifts if you're nice.

  • 11.27.2012 3:23 PM PDT

I will own everyone in Halo: Reach


Posted by: Recon Number 54
Goddammit Charlie!

Spoilers man, freaking spoilers.

Lol.

OT: Here we don't really believe in Santa, we believe in "Los tres reyes magos". And I found out they weren't real at sth like 12 or 13.

  • 11.27.2012 3:26 PM PDT

Disregard Females, acquire currency.


Posted by: A 3 Legged Goat
Never grew up believing he was 'real'.

Same here.

  • 11.27.2012 3:28 PM PDT