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This topic has moved here: Subject: I wrote a play for a theatre festival and you should read it, maybe.
  • Subject: I wrote a play for a theatre festival and you should read it, maybe.
Subject: I wrote a play for a theatre festival and you should read it, maybe.

Now while I'm fully aware that the majority of the Flood has next to no patience and probably won't even read this sentence before hitting reply and filling the text box with hateful things about Halo 4 and its mother, I wanted to make a thread in the hopes that some of those with a somewhat longer attention span would be interested in reading the short play that I submitted today for the theatre festival that happens in my state every year.

At this festival, at both the district and state level (district comes first, and then state if I do well enough), there are various categories that actors and technicians can compete in, from duet acting and solo musicals to set design and costume creation. One of these events is playwriting, and I decided that I should enter.

After a mad four or five hour typing session two Sundays ago, I finished the entire thirty page play (it probably would have been longer, but there was a page limit) and then spent the next week and a half editing and revising. Now that I've finally made an official final draft of this version of the play (I may expand it into a longer play, possibly in two acts, later on.) I'd like to share it with those who might be interested in reading and giving some feedback.

You can read it HERE if you're interested. If you'd like a summary before getting into it, it's a comedy called Veto. The President of the United States of America and all those in line for presidential succession have gone missing as part of an alleged terrorist plot, and now Paul Simon -- the head of the Negligibly Unimportant Agricultural Affairs Agency -- has been forced to fill the president's shoes and pass judgment on the Big Bill, a huge bill that has the potential to change American life forever, and he has no clue what to do. There's also a fame-obsessed assassin and the ghost of Theodore Roosevelt, so good times are to be had.

If you read it, let me know what you think. (Here's the link again.) Otherwise just post the obligatory tl;dr. Also I did edit my name and the other information that I had to include on the title page; my last name is (unfortunately) not actually McSlaughter.

[Edited on 11.29.2012 2:14 PM PST]

  • 11.29.2012 2:11 PM PDT

-blam!- Was that actually blammed out? Or did I just type it? You'll never know.

That's a really, really long opening monologue to put the audience through, especially in the form of a recorded news beat.

  • 11.29.2012 2:15 PM PDT

The concept itself is pretty good, but a lot of the humor feels forced and awkward. Also, the plot isn't very engaging.

  • 11.29.2012 2:19 PM PDT

You are back! Pleeeease don't leave us again... ever.

[Edited on 11.29.2012 2:27 PM PST]

  • 11.29.2012 2:21 PM PDT

Per Audacia Ad Astra

"The Earth Restoration and Replenishment Of Really Important Sources of Terrestrial Stuff movement"Not bad.

  • 11.29.2012 2:27 PM PDT


Posted by: dahuterschuter
That's a really, really long opening monologue to put the audience through, especially in the form of a recorded news beat.

I would probably agree with you, but because of the strict formatting limiting the amount of actual content I could afford to fit within the page limit, I employed the news recording to set up the exposition so I could be allowed to jump straight into more of the action. At first I thought it was too long, but I read it to myself several times and found that it actually flows really well and is pretty snappy, it just looks like it's so long because it's just one big wall of text.

If I were going to extend this into a longer play, I'd definitely substitute the recording for something else.

  • 11.29.2012 8:20 PM PDT


Posted by: Bungie Sam
"The Earth Restoration and Replenishment Of Really Important Sources of Terrestrial Stuff movement"Not bad.

I don't follow.

edit: Oh dammit I forgot this forum doesn't have an automerge feature.

[Edited on 11.29.2012 8:21 PM PST]

  • 11.29.2012 8:21 PM PDT