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  • Subject: Batman
Subject: Batman
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Odyssey Genesis

Hello there comrades. I would like to introduce myself as compatriot of the late Stanky Cucumber, who is in fact the legendary Batman of the tales of old. Allow me to tell the story of his recent demise, so that you may help me save him from the depths of perma-banned prison.

A dark night. Some drizzle, but not to much. Batman is soundly sleeping, dreaming a delightful dream of a dancing fruit salad and Jennifer Aniston. Harshly and without compromise, Batman's roommate (who we will call Johnson) enters the dorm with a dumb broad. The dumb broad's -blam!- started hollering, awaking Batman from his slumber. Now, Batman is not usually a sentimental bastard, but he was emotionally hurT at this moment. Johnson inadvertently left the door open, so cold air rushed into the room. Batman's nipples twisted and condensed into hard icicles.

Batman was pissed. He likes his nipples toasty and warm, not convoluted and dense. He gets up, picks up his grappling gun, and aims the gun at Johnson's hard willy.

"WHERE ARE THE NARCOTICS!!!"Batman exclaims.

"W-w-wha...?" Johnson whimpers.

"This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good."

"Baby, listen to him!" the dumb broad cries. "He's the roommate Gotham deserves, the roommate you deserve, but not the one you need right now. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight."

Bang

Johnson's willy had been split in two.

"Why so serious?" Batman remarked.

As he said that, he perched on top of the room's windowsill, head-butted through the glass, and whispered, "It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us."

And he flew into the night.

I WILL CARRY THE LEGACYYYYYYYYYYYYYY



[Edited on 11.30.2012 7:46 PM PST]

  • 11.30.2012 7:43 PM PDT
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It's not who I am underneath, but what I do, that defines me.

Nice coat.

  • 11.30.2012 7:50 PM PDT
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Feet first into hell

MY PARENTS ARE DEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

  • 11.30.2012 7:50 PM PDT

Save Cortana

What the hell? I don't even...

  • 11.30.2012 7:53 PM PDT