Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: hold it in, Ricky
  • Subject: hold it in, Ricky
Subject: hold it in, Ricky



I woke up and glanced around my room, eyes half open, wondering if the thing in my closet was still there. It was standing in the closet, headless, i could see its outline in the darkness.

I needed to crap and wiz so bad, i had been holding it in since i went to bed at around 11, and i noticed the monster around 12. I glanced over at the digital clock, it was 5 am. I knew if it realized i was awake it would come for me. I needed to let out a fart or it was going to turn into a shart, I tried to let it out as silently as possible. -SHRRRRPPPTTTT- it had become a shart, I had failed, I waited for death to come take me away.

Nothing happend, i began to wonder what the monster was thinking. It was hard to think though because the crap was beginning to re enter my stomach from holding it in. I regret ever eating that spoiled nacho cheese. Then it happend, i could feel it coming out of the closet to get me, i shut my eyes and prepared to die.

-SHRRRRPPPT plop SHRRRRRPPPT- I sharted and pood a bit, followed by another shart. I began to sob as i knew if he didnt know i was awake before, he definately did now. Then something strange happened, i heard him rustle back further away from my bed, did my pooing appease him? Did he think i was so sad he was going to let me live a little longer?

As i lie there i realized i had more urgent issues, another bowl movement. I clenched my cheeks to no avail,-FFFPPPPPPPP shrtp FPPPPPPPP- the hot poo oozed out my butt followed by a girl burp like fart followed by more poo. I cryed, not only are my parents going to find me dead theres going to be poo all over. Then i heard the monster re enter the closet.

It was completely ass backwords and didnt make sense. Did the monster enjoy this, did he have some kind of fetish? i lie there for what seemed like forever, my blatter near to bursting i finally said something. "What do you want from me?" It jumped out of the closet and i clenched my eyes shut, it was hovering right next to my face i could tell. "D-d-dont"

Then i peed everywhere, the force of the pee actually lifted the front of my pants into the air for a couple seconds. I knew what it wanted, and the monster was appeased. I heard him return to the closet, satisfied. Meanwhile i was drenched in poop piss and fear.

I lie there, the smell unbearable, I soon drifted off to sleep in my own poo and wizz. I woke up, my mom was screaming asking me what happend, i sat up and looked at my closet and saw there was a vacuum in there. It hit me that after my mom cleaned my room earlier she must have stored it in my closet, could i have imagined the whole thing? As my mom lead me out of my room yelling something at me i was in a different world relieved and laughing at myself. Then i looked back at the mess i left and noticed something above my bed that made my heart sink.

Hold it in next time, Ricky? :)
was written on the wall with my poo.

  • 11.30.2012 8:18 PM PDT
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Writer's Corner
6/15/2011 11:39 PM: bobcast [2597260] issued a 3 day ban expiring on 6/18/2011 11:39 PM.
Reason: A Bungie.net Forum Moderator has banned you for violating the code of conduct and/or rules of the forum in the thread below
http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=61704535
Inappropriate. Went a little to far with the butt hole tearing.

More poop jokes?

  • 11.30.2012 8:18 PM PDT

Posted by: Dropship dude
No, acnboy. Spartain Ken 15 is a lesser being. Much like the bacteria that lives in your shi­t.
Posted by: mike120593
My shi­t bacteria takes offense to that comparison.

Don't make me lel. You won't like me when I lel.

I thought this was going to be about Ricky Ponting getting out for 4.

:(

  • 11.30.2012 8:19 PM PDT
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  • Honorable Heroic Member
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Your 'beliefs' mean less than dick to me.

Posted by: petitminou
More poop jokes?

What a Chuck Lorre wannabe this guy is.

  • 11.30.2012 8:19 PM PDT
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Hot

  • 11.30.2012 8:20 PM PDT

Gamertag - Rdog 11

Call me Rdog, not RdOG or RdOG1507. I made that username when I thought it was cool to use alternating capital and lowercase letters...

Truly insightful.

  • 11.30.2012 8:20 PM PDT

Circle Jerkin' I got my wiener workin'

Am I the only one who thought this was going to be a Trailer Park Boys thread?

  • 11.30.2012 8:24 PM PDT
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Writer's Corner
6/15/2011 11:39 PM: bobcast [2597260] issued a 3 day ban expiring on 6/18/2011 11:39 PM.
Reason: A Bungie.net Forum Moderator has banned you for violating the code of conduct and/or rules of the forum in the thread below
http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=61704535
Inappropriate. Went a little to far with the butt hole tearing.


Posted by: Potato Joe
Am I the only one who thought this was going to be a Trailer Park Boys thread?


Thread would be 10x better

  • 11.30.2012 8:24 PM PDT

I am the God Emprah of Mankind.

Deal with it.

Next time throw your poo at it. It will be so scared that you're crazy enough to play with your poop it will kill itself. Works everytime.

  • 11.30.2012 8:24 PM PDT

I remembered the cheerios one on here and the poop eating one being popular. So i wanted to give the flood their first not actually copied semi interesting story. I hope you enjoy it.

  • 11.30.2012 8:28 PM PDT