Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Advice for building confidence?
  • Subject: Advice for building confidence?
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2
Subject: Advice for building confidence?

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

My best friend is bawling his eyes out to me over Facebook about how he's so miserable and unconfident in everything that he does. Flustered with his state of mind and human nature itself.

I've done what I can, but nothing I can say could make him feel better. So now, in a gesture that will most likely amount to nothing, I ask the Flood - a hive of socially awkward teenagers - how does one go about building confidence?

I am immediately beginning to reget this decision.

  • 12.01.2012 9:53 PM PDT

Confidence is hard to gain.

You really just have to have the personality mindset for it.

Sorry I couldn't really help.

[Edited on 12.01.2012 9:54 PM PST]

  • 12.01.2012 9:54 PM PDT

Vote for me for a free cookie.

Massive ego is the only option

  • 12.01.2012 9:54 PM PDT

Per Audacia Ad Astra

You need serious control over your mind.
I could choose to be incredibly insecure about myself, but I know that doing so would change my life drastically. So I see myself as an incredible overconfident person and become one.

  • 12.01.2012 9:55 PM PDT

Unreal, isn't it?

Honestly the biggest builder of confidence for me was getting singing lessons, because it put me in a position where I wasn't sure of myself, and helped me become sure of myself and build up a talent.

I'd say he should get involved in something that he enjoys that leads to accomplishment and success. Art, athletics, martial arts, etc. Only way to change your life and your outlook is to literally change your life and what you're doing.

  • 12.01.2012 9:56 PM PDT

Allons-y!

Fap.

  • 12.01.2012 9:56 PM PDT

Unreal, isn't it?


Posted by: Bungie Sam
You need serious control over your mind.
I could choose to be incredibly insecure about myself, but I know that doing so would change my life drastically. So I see myself as an incredible overconfident person and become one.


I don't think it's so much a matter of choice directly, but choosing to work your way towards being confident.

  • 12.01.2012 9:57 PM PDT

Per Audacia Ad Astra

Posted by: RealUnrealRob
I don't think it's so much a matter of choice
It is when you have full control.

  • 12.01.2012 10:01 PM PDT

The human element always mucks things up.

Wave your dick around in front of a mirror and say "WHO DA MAN?!?"

  • 12.01.2012 10:02 PM PDT

"Life is constantly fleeting from your grasp even from the very day it's bestowed upon you, but the shadow of death is always there, waiting for its chance to take you away."

"Even though many may not think so, ignorance and innocence are one and the same. The only difference is that one sounds nicer."

"I once knew a man who spent his entire life contemplating where we go after our death....it's a shame he realized it a second too late to tell anyone."

Different people build confidence in different ways. It's not something you can be gifted, it's something you have to find in yourself.

  • 12.01.2012 10:06 PM PDT

Unreal, isn't it?


Posted by: Bungie Sam
Posted by: RealUnrealRob
I don't think it's so much a matter of choice
It is when you have full control.


So all OP's friend has to do is sit down, and then stand up with full control over his confidence.

That's nice

  • 12.01.2012 10:06 PM PDT

Per Audacia Ad Astra

Posted by: RealUnrealRob
So all OP's friend has to do is sit down, and then stand up with full control over his confidence.

That's nice
He doesn't even need to sit down. Steal your mind.

  • 12.01.2012 10:07 PM PDT

Unreal, isn't it?

I think facing your fears and putting yourself in situations where you can fail, in essence building your confidence, is something you can control. And that's what OP's friend should do. I don't think it's something that'll just happen though.

But he needs to get out and start living life and putting himself out there, and that should build up his confidence.

Act confident -> Become confident

  • 12.01.2012 10:10 PM PDT


Posted by: McNut117
My best friend is bawling his eyes out to me over Facebook about how he's so miserable and unconfident in everything that he does. Flustered with his state of mind and human nature itself.

I've done what I can, but nothing I can say could make him feel better. So now, in a gesture that will most likely amount to nothing, I ask the Flood - a hive of socially awkward teenagers - how does one go about building confidence?

I am immediately beginning to reget this decision.


You can't just 'open your eyes' and decide to be confident.
Confidence is a product of a mindset that can only be fully realized through your perception of yourself. You have to have reasons to be happy with, and proud of yourself, whatever they may be. Smiling and laughing can even harmlessly trick the brain into triggering the related emotions. Literally pretending to be somebody confident (doing things you think confident people do) will work you up to honest confidence with much less time and effort than you might think.

Seriously. Don't give up on your friend. Tell them what they need to hear. You can't get him to stop talking down to himself, so shut him up. Get serious, and remind him that you're friends, and seeing him talk himself down does not give you good feels. Tell him that whatever rut he thinks he's stuck in, he can get out, but not if he won't believe he can.

- Sincerely, the Flood.

  • 12.01.2012 10:18 PM PDT

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU: High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

Make Lemonade!


Teabag twin #1 is here to kick ass and chew gum. And I'm all out of gum.


Posted by: Egerspurge
Wave your dick around in front of a mirror and say "WHO DA MAN?!?"


Why has no one taken this advice seriously?

  • 12.01.2012 10:38 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Say SWAG and YOLO a lot.

[Edited on 12.01.2012 10:39 PM PST]

  • 12.01.2012 10:39 PM PDT

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


Posted by: ROFLwaffle P13

Posted by: McNut117
My best friend is bawling his eyes out to me over Facebook about how he's so miserable and unconfident in everything that he does. Flustered with his state of mind and human nature itself.

I've done what I can, but nothing I can say could make him feel better. So now, in a gesture that will most likely amount to nothing, I ask the Flood - a hive of socially awkward teenagers - how does one go about building confidence?

I am immediately beginning to reget this decision.


You can't just 'open your eyes' and decide to be confident.
Confidence is a product of a mindset that can only be fully realized through your perception of yourself. You have to have reasons to be happy with, and proud of yourself, whatever they may be. Smiling and laughing can even harmlessly trick the brain into triggering the related emotions. Literally pretending to be somebody confident (doing things you think confident people do) will work you up to honest confidence with much less time and effort than you might think.

Seriously. Don't give up on your friend. Tell them what they need to hear. You can't get him to stop talking down to himself, so shut him up. Get serious, and remind him that you're friends, and seeing him talk himself down does not give you good feels. Tell him that whatever rut he thinks he's stuck in, he can get out, but not if he won't believe he can.

- Sincerely, the Flood.
I showed this to my friend and he thought it was great advice. Thanks a lot.

  • 12.01.2012 10:40 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

Not the OP.
Tell him to learn an instrument, or get into a sport. Anything he can get good at.

[Edited on 12.01.2012 10:41 PM PST]

  • 12.01.2012 10:40 PM PDT
  • gamertag: MRDNRA
  • user homepage:

Try to encourage positive thinking.

  • 12.01.2012 10:40 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

We all wear masks and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing our own skin.

First off, how old are you two?

  • 12.01.2012 10:41 PM PDT

Remember those times when we all had something better to be doing, but didn't do it? Those were good times. Gooood times

Building up a massive superiority complex is the only way

  • 12.01.2012 10:42 PM PDT

Studies show that men think about sex every 7 seconds. I do my best to eat hotdogs in under 6, just so things don't get weird.

Please allow me to introduce Myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

Start small. Everything starts with baby steps.

Confidence is built on the knowledge that you can handle situations independently. So have him start doing things like hiking, or running, maybe even lifting weights or batting cages. Anything that allows for self driven victory on a small scale.

Make sure every time he does something well that you praise him. Even if its just a high five. The idea is to have him start to think of himself as capable of handling more and more on his own. Eventually he starts to do it himself.

This is the idea behind the confidence courses that the military uses. They make you negotiate these courses so you know you can.

  • 12.01.2012 10:45 PM PDT

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


Posted by: Buddha Milk
First off, how old are you two?
About 16.

  • 12.01.2012 10:45 PM PDT

Tell him to get busy. Tell him to do anything that keeps him away of thinking about his miserable existence.

  • 12.01.2012 10:46 PM PDT

If he doesn't feel confident, tell him to just act confident. It sounds silly, I know, but in doing so you can actually gain some real confidence, depending on the reactions to those around you to your confident behavior.

  • 12.01.2012 10:50 PM PDT

  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2