- coolmike699
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- Fabled Heroic Member
Posted by: RECON828
Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: RECON828
Posted by: xBADMAGIKx
Why do most of you in here look at marriage as if it's a statistic or legal thing?
If you find someone that you truly love and cannot live without and the same goes for your partner, then wonderful, get married. Marriage is tremendous blessing and the people who have found their true love, I personally give them praise as I couldn't imagine any greater thing than to have a good family.
Question:
Do you need to be married to someone to be in love with them?
Do you need to be married to someone to have children?
Not at all. But a public and announced commitment can (depending on the people involved) make the participants feel more confident and comfortable about the future of those (and other) long-term choices.
Any two people with appropriate gonads can make a child. It takes parents to raise that child and (so far) the best and most effective methodology for that is for the child to have a nuclear family.
Is that a requirement? No.
Is that a guarantee of success? Not at all.
Are the examples of successful child-rearing without a nuclear family? Absolutely.
Are there examples of failures despite a nuclear family? Certainly.
But it is a choice of the parties involved. Their choice. Personally, if any two people love each other and feel the desire to make a commitment to attempt a lifelong relationship? I don't believe that is anyone's business but theirs.
If people want to do it any other way, as long as it suits them and doesn't harm anyone? Fine by me.
But the idea of two people wanting to make a commitment is not alien or unreasonable. The reasons are as varied as there are people, but it certainly happens enough to say that it is a reasonable and very "human" desire to know that you and someone you love are "committed".
That's fine. It's not that I think it's unreasonable, just unnecessary. For the record, I'm not talking about a pair of nineteen year olds spitting out a baby then splitting paths, I mean if you took a perfectly normal and in love couple and they said "Instead of spending all that money on a big wedding, why don't we put it towards the kids' college funds? Or a new car?"
If you can afford it and see no fitter use of your money than a nice wedding, that's no-one's decision to make but your own. I just think there are usually better things.
As someone else said, you can easily just get a marriage without a big, fancy wedding but that still doesn't solve the issue of divorce being both terrifying and devastating. Also, it can look a little anti-climactic to friends and family. In an ideal world, that wouldn't matter, but humans are insecure beings and I bet it wouldn't help to get even one comment somehow implying your marriage is less legitimate or passionate than others.
I would say that if other people's comments about your wedding are enough to damage your relationship, it wasn't very strong in the first place. Also, why would a divorce be any worse than two unmarried people living together separating?