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Subject: Marriage, is it really worth it?

RIP Ginger

Spring 1997 - 6 January 2012


Posted by: a squiggly apple

Posted by: Recon Number 54
And did you only get that one point out of my multiple examples?

Interesting.


Any post over a paragraph long is too long for me so I just stop reading.
What?

  • 12.02.2012 9:05 AM PDT

Cammalamm is the best.

External Links-
>My Photobucket page
>My Twitter account

That's up to the person getting married I guess.

[Edited on 12.02.2012 9:09 AM PST]

  • 12.02.2012 9:07 AM PDT

This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends;
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Popular opinion has never been a measure of worth for me. So I would say yes.

  • 12.02.2012 9:08 AM PDT

Marriage should be a ten year renewable contract.

  • 12.02.2012 9:12 AM PDT

This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends;
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Posted by: a squiggly apple
Posted by: Chris marines
Posted by: a squiggly apple
Posted by: Recon Number 54
And did you only get that one point out of my multiple examples?

Interesting.
Any post over a paragraph long is too long for me so I just stop reading.
What?
I'm here to cure boredom not become more bored by reading too much.
Reading is a cure, not a curse. In it, we can find both freedom and enlightenment. But I repeat myself, for enlightenment is a type of freedom. Such a statement does not depend on the subject read. There is knowledge to be gained from anything and "There is no knowledge that is not power."

  • 12.02.2012 9:19 AM PDT

"any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out."


Posted by: a squiggly apple

Posted by: Chris marines

Posted by: a squiggly apple

Posted by: Recon Number 54
And did you only get that one point out of my multiple examples?

Interesting.


Any post over a paragraph long is too long for me so I just stop reading.
What?


I'm here to cure boredom not become more bored by reading too much.

Are... are you just stupid?

  • 12.02.2012 9:19 AM PDT

So...

you can leave now.

To me, it's not about the legal work. It's about the idea of a formal promise in-front of the people you love and that have been there for you your whole life that you have decided to dedicate yourself to one person who has shown you the respect and love you feel you deserve.

I should write for Hallmark...

  • 12.02.2012 9:20 AM PDT
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LeaveItYeah


Posted by: Ex0 Dante


But, the problem is, people rush into marriage. And that's why the divorce rate is high too.
When I left school, more than half the people who were at my school were engaged within 1 or 2 years.

  • 12.02.2012 9:26 AM PDT

I'm your biggest fan!


Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: RECON828
Posted by: xBADMAGIKx
Why do most of you in here look at marriage as if it's a statistic or legal thing?

If you find someone that you truly love and cannot live without and the same goes for your partner, then wonderful, get married. Marriage is tremendous blessing and the people who have found their true love, I personally give them praise as I couldn't imagine any greater thing than to have a good family.


Question:
Do you need to be married to someone to be in love with them?
Do you need to be married to someone to have children?

Not at all. But a public and announced commitment can (depending on the people involved) make the participants feel more confident and comfortable about the future of those (and other) long-term choices.

Any two people with appropriate gonads can make a child. It takes parents to raise that child and (so far) the best and most effective methodology for that is for the child to have a nuclear family.

Is that a requirement? No.
Is that a guarantee of success? Not at all.
Are the examples of successful child-rearing without a nuclear family? Absolutely.
Are there examples of failures despite a nuclear family? Certainly.

But it is a choice of the parties involved. Their choice. Personally, if any two people love each other and feel the desire to make a commitment to attempt a lifelong relationship? I don't believe that is anyone's business but theirs.

If people want to do it any other way, as long as it suits them and doesn't harm anyone? Fine by me.

But the idea of two people wanting to make a commitment is not alien or unreasonable. The reasons are as varied as there are people, but it certainly happens enough to say that it is a reasonable and very "human" desire to know that you and someone you love are "committed".

That's fine. It's not that I think it's unreasonable, just unnecessary. For the record, I'm not talking about a pair of nineteen year olds spitting out a baby then splitting paths, I mean if you took a perfectly normal and in love couple and they said "Instead of spending all that money on a big wedding, why don't we put it towards the kids' college funds? Or a new car?"

If you can afford it and see no fitter use of your money than a nice wedding, that's no-one's decision to make but your own. I just think there are usually better things.

As someone else said, you can easily just get a marriage without a big, fancy wedding but that still doesn't solve the issue of divorce being both terrifying and devastating. Also, it can look a little anti-climactic to friends and family. In an ideal world, that wouldn't matter, but humans are insecure beings and I bet it wouldn't help to get even one comment somehow implying your marriage is less legitimate or passionate than others.

  • 12.02.2012 9:35 AM PDT

This. It doesn't help either that people think Divorce is a normal part of life now.

News flash: It isn't. It's FAR from normal.

Posted by: Ex0 Dante
But, the problem is, people rush into marriage. And that's why the divorce rate is high too.

  • 12.02.2012 9:36 AM PDT


Posted by: RECON828

Posted by: Recon Number 54
Posted by: RECON828
Posted by: xBADMAGIKx
Why do most of you in here look at marriage as if it's a statistic or legal thing?

If you find someone that you truly love and cannot live without and the same goes for your partner, then wonderful, get married. Marriage is tremendous blessing and the people who have found their true love, I personally give them praise as I couldn't imagine any greater thing than to have a good family.


Question:
Do you need to be married to someone to be in love with them?
Do you need to be married to someone to have children?

Not at all. But a public and announced commitment can (depending on the people involved) make the participants feel more confident and comfortable about the future of those (and other) long-term choices.

Any two people with appropriate gonads can make a child. It takes parents to raise that child and (so far) the best and most effective methodology for that is for the child to have a nuclear family.

Is that a requirement? No.
Is that a guarantee of success? Not at all.
Are the examples of successful child-rearing without a nuclear family? Absolutely.
Are there examples of failures despite a nuclear family? Certainly.

But it is a choice of the parties involved. Their choice. Personally, if any two people love each other and feel the desire to make a commitment to attempt a lifelong relationship? I don't believe that is anyone's business but theirs.

If people want to do it any other way, as long as it suits them and doesn't harm anyone? Fine by me.

But the idea of two people wanting to make a commitment is not alien or unreasonable. The reasons are as varied as there are people, but it certainly happens enough to say that it is a reasonable and very "human" desire to know that you and someone you love are "committed".

That's fine. It's not that I think it's unreasonable, just unnecessary. For the record, I'm not talking about a pair of nineteen year olds spitting out a baby then splitting paths, I mean if you took a perfectly normal and in love couple and they said "Instead of spending all that money on a big wedding, why don't we put it towards the kids' college funds? Or a new car?"

If you can afford it and see no fitter use of your money than a nice wedding, that's no-one's decision to make but your own. I just think there are usually better things.

As someone else said, you can easily just get a marriage without a big, fancy wedding but that still doesn't solve the issue of divorce being both terrifying and devastating. Also, it can look a little anti-climactic to friends and family. In an ideal world, that wouldn't matter, but humans are insecure beings and I bet it wouldn't help to get even one comment somehow implying your marriage is less legitimate or passionate than others.


I would say that if other people's comments about your wedding are enough to damage your relationship, it wasn't very strong in the first place. Also, why would a divorce be any worse than two unmarried people living together separating?

  • 12.02.2012 9:40 AM PDT

Stupidity, when sufficiently advanced, is indistinguishable from magic

From a financial perspective it's worth it.

In the long run, that is.

[Edited on 12.02.2012 9:41 AM PST]

  • 12.02.2012 9:41 AM PDT

No. If I wanted extra money I would sell drugs. If I wanted to lose most of my money I would become a drug addict.

  • 12.02.2012 9:47 AM PDT

I'm your biggest fan!


Posted by: coolmike699
I would say that if other people's comments about your wedding are enough to damage your relationship, it wasn't very strong in the first place. Also, why would a divorce be any worse than two unmarried people living together separating?

That's an easy mistake to make, but some people just have thinner skin than others and it could be damaging to even strong couples if it came from someone very close to you like your mother, for example.

Divorce is a lot different to just a break-up because of legal battles and the whole "giving half your stuff away" thing. It's very stressful and arguably a bigger deal than just a normal break-up.

  • 12.02.2012 9:53 AM PDT

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