If you want to bang your head to hardcore dubstep then ♫ Muffler-Machine ♫ is for you!
Now remember, this is my theme song >:A
Note: Make sure your head is away from your desk unless you want to suffer major brain injuries.
Have fun on the flood, if you go there!o(╥﹏╥)o
Ive never had a girlfriend in my life all throughout these 19 years (almost 20). Never actually found the need because i had my friends, my brother, and i had myself. Didnt think i needed anything else... Till i met someone. These past months ive had a real change in my life, moved to a very far place from where i was. Did it because i loved my brother, because i loved the cold, because i wanted a change. Heh, i definitely got a change just one i wasnt expecting really.
The main reason why we moved was because of a person. To me this person meant nothing besides the fact my brother was in love with her. He had so much history through online dating, playing xbox and skyping all the time talking about their days sharing past memories. A real 2 year friendship i envy to this day.
This girl never appealed to me whatsoever. Probably because i wasnt into anybody at the time and my mentality was different. When they met for the first time it felt ridiculous. They were nervous and my brother had the day to act for impressing. I understood, he was trying to make a second first good impression on the girl he loved over the internet. Months passed, so did i it felt. Saw a brother i never knew, kissing her girl he promised to never leave and always love for the rest of his and her life.
I felt like I was put aside from all the lip smacking going on. I was irritated half the time i was around them. I wonder what she thought of me at first. It got me wondering so i stopped being the person who i was when we first "hung" around. And instead i started acting serious, quiet and a bit dark if i may. Had thoughts i never did think would ever linger in my mind. I hated myself for that, it was ridiculous.
We moved to a college town in the middle of nowhere forest were theres literally nothing to do for people that arent drunks. It wasnt a life i was seeking for. But long story short, i started having feelings for the girl my brother wants to marry one day. I feel alone, somewhat scared i might not ever be with someone and ashamed that i think this way. This is my brother and part of the reason why i left my job to move so very far away. If i ever tell him this he will forever think im looking at her girl and have awkward moments when were all together. And we were brought up like gentlemen when it came to girls.
I can almost say i have fallen in love with the girl but not just yet. Mainly because im very confused and going through a hard time (No job, no house, barely any money). The economy doesnt run so well were we moved.
It feels strange exposing and expressing my thoughts to strangers i more than likely will never see in real life and the weirder part is that i typed this right next to my bro.
Im a creep i know. I feel ugly, dont know if i seem this way to other girls. Its hard for me to talk *sigh*. I just hope for a better future. I like this girl, i really do. Hate how my brother beat me to it.