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Subject: Am I The Only One Who Finds Getting To School Difficult?
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I have GAD and when it comes to school I am just ridden with physical symptoms. It starts during Saturday and I just gradually get more and more and more worked up about it. My stomach starts knotting up, I cannot sleep, I get headaches, cramps and I eventually just don't go because it's too much to deal with running myself through that stress.

I really hate myself for it. I get insanely frustrated with the fact that I could be doing so well. Before I relapsed into this I had high 90's and I was feeling better than last year. Then in October I just broke down and stopped going. Every week it was the same thing. All week I just wanted to go and I tried to go throughout the week but it ended in me breaking out in a sweat and shaking like a leaf.

I hate anxiety and depression and the worst thing is It's my own fault I'm not going to school. I feel like every other person can just go without a problem and even enjoy being there but I'm just some fragile piece of -blam!-. I have a lot of potential but no matter how smart I am or could be I don't amount to anything because I can hardly scrape by to get a high-school education.

I sometimes think of becoming and entrepreneur and trying to educate myself but I don't know how that would work. If I really wanted to I could probably create a successful company or maybe game design although even with an education that in itself is almost a pipe dream. I've thought about writing (I love sci-fi and I think I'm a good story teller) but I want to be involved in science more than anything, it's my dream to work in a science field of some sort. I absolutely love physics, medicine engineering, and I really want to make contributions in those fields but as of now I'm -blam!- up and it kills me inside. There's no way else to say it, I beat myself up to no end and I legitimately feel like I hate myself.


Sorry for the bull-blam!- emo rant.

[Edited on 12.03.2012 4:22 AM PST]

  • 12.03.2012 4:13 AM PDT

Posted by: FatherlyNick
Im the flood's underground member.

...

Ah, who am i kidding, we are all basement dwellers...

- random Floodian truest words ever

I'm the same actually

=/

[Edited on 12.03.2012 4:23 AM PST]

  • 12.03.2012 4:15 AM PDT

My Brahman is ready.

Blah blah China joke blah blah

  • 12.03.2012 4:21 AM PDT
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Posted by: Rokklaggio
Blah blah China joke blah blah


Fixed. Grammar is the first to go when I'm stressed and writing.

  • 12.03.2012 4:23 AM PDT

My Brahman is ready.


Posted by: Y SO REACH BETA

Posted by: Rokklaggio
Blah blah China joke blah blah


Fixed. Grammar is the first to go when I'm stressed and writing.


Are you an idiot? You didn't even change a thing.

  • 12.03.2012 4:24 AM PDT
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Posted by: PROBLEM23323
I'm the same actually

=/


I don't know anybody else in my school with this issue and I feel like I'm this retard who can't get his -blam!- together. I envy people without any mental health issues because without this, I'd be fine.

  • 12.03.2012 4:25 AM PDT
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Posted by: Rokklaggio

Posted by: Y SO REACH BETA

Posted by: Rokklaggio
Blah blah China joke blah blah


Fixed. Grammar is the first to go when I'm stressed and writing.


Are you an idiot? You didn't even change a thing.


The paragraphs and now spaced out.

  • 12.03.2012 4:26 AM PDT

TL;DR

Do you need some change for the bus or something? :D

  • 12.03.2012 4:33 AM PDT

Id get this too and sometimes it would get so painful id be in tears but I think anxiety had something to do with it and my commute to school was me getting up at 6AM and getting on two overcrammed busses for 2 hours there and back.

  • 12.03.2012 4:37 AM PDT

Reporting for duty

Nothing.

  • 12.03.2012 4:42 AM PDT

I have the issue with my classes being so easy that I don't feel the need to go to class (except for test days) to actually get a good grade.

One tip: see a counselor.

  • 12.03.2012 4:48 AM PDT
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Posted by: Porch Ninja
I have the issue with my classes being so easy that I don't feel the need to go to class (except for test days) to actually get a good grade.

One tip: see a counselor.


This OP I'm seeing a counselor myself for my similar problem and it's helped so far

  • 12.03.2012 4:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: Porch Ninja
I have the issue with my classes being so easy that I don't feel the need to go to class (except for test days) to actually get a good grade.

One tip: see a counselor.


I do and yeah, I find it very hard to keep motivated when the classes aren't challenging as well.

  • 12.03.2012 4:51 AM PDT

I <3 Halo:Reach - amazingly fun and best campaign + amazing Soundtrack
I <3 Halo 3:ODST - best soundtrack + Firefight + Coastal Highway and Mombassa Streets, amazingly unique campaign.
I <3 Halo 3 - best multiplayer levels + Forge + best Custom Games + soundtrack
I <3 Halo 2 - amazing huge fun campaign + soundtrack + Fun multiplayer
I <3 Halo: CE - started it all

....wat.

How is school that scary for you. You go, you learn, and then you go home. If you actually do all those symptoms you listed, you honestly might want to go see a doctor so they can help you, give you treatment.

  • 12.03.2012 4:54 AM PDT
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Posted by: NoWise10
....wat.

How is school that scary for you. You go, you learn, and then you go home. If you actually do all those symptoms you listed, you honestly might want to go see a doctor so they can help you, give you treatment.


It has been 4 years of this -blam!-. It is so tiring. I see a counselor, I'm on medication but when it comes time to go I am just crushed with psychosomatic symptoms.

Summer of 2011 I was sick for 2 weeks I was so worried. I had panic attacks consistently for that time and I got to the point I was convinced my medication was going to cause liver failure. You don't think clearly when you haven't slept and you have symptom after symptom.

All that year I had aches and pains for no reasons, eventually stopped going and nearly lost all my credits but not going is the only thing that has actually stopped the psychosomatic symptoms I get. I feel like I'm absolutely trapped with no where to go.

  • 12.03.2012 5:01 AM PDT
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Posted by: NoWise10
....wat.

How is school that scary for you. You go, you learn, and then you go home. If you actually do all those symptoms you listed, you honestly might want to go see a doctor so they can help you, give you treatment.


Aside from being extremely anxious (I don't even know what it is a lot of the time) I get really anxious in big classes. I feel like everyone is judging me or talking behind my back when people laugh (I know they're not but it's an immediate association). Than there's the pressure. People were hard on me as kid so I kid of do it to myself now. I'll call myself a -blam!- idiot if I don't get above a 95%, I beat myself up if I make a mistake, any mistake at all. I've put myself under a lot of pressure and I get almost no satisfaction unless I get a 100%. I honestly don't feel satisfied unless I get everything right. It's complicated and it stems back to my childhood a lot.

  • 12.03.2012 5:06 AM PDT
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Foman is my favorite moderator. <3

OP should medicate with alcohol and go to school drunk.

A drunk education is better than no education.

  • 12.03.2012 5:17 AM PDT
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Posted by: A Good Troll
OP should medicate with alcohol and go to school drunk.

A drunk education is better than no education.


You should write for the Big Bang Theory.


[Edited on 12.03.2012 5:21 AM PST]

  • 12.03.2012 5:21 AM PDT

Life?
I have the internet and Doctor Who; i don't need a life.

i know your pain bro, hit me as soon as i came to uni.
the longer you leave it, the worse it gets and the deeper you sink.

trust me; if you can muster up the courage to go to school just once, you'll feel a hundred times better about going the next day.

  • 12.03.2012 5:21 AM PDT
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Posted by: CultMiester4000
i know your pain bro, hit me as soon as i came to uni.
the longer you leave it, the worse it gets and the deeper you sink.

trust me; if you can muster up the courage to go to school just once, you'll feel a hundred times better about going the next day.


Ah the last couple time not so much but I do plan on going back.

  • 12.03.2012 5:22 AM PDT

Posted by: Y SO REACH BETA

Posted by: A Good Troll
OP should medicate with alcohol and go to school drunk.

A drunk education is better than no education.


You should write for the Big Bang Theory.

Well that was a bit uncalled for, I'm sure he was just joking.

  • 12.03.2012 5:25 AM PDT

Life?
I have the internet and Doctor Who; i don't need a life.

Posted by: Y SO REACH BETA

Posted by: CultMiester4000
i know your pain bro, hit me as soon as i came to uni.
the longer you leave it, the worse it gets and the deeper you sink.

trust me; if you can muster up the courage to go to school just once, you'll feel a hundred times better about going the next day.


Ah the last couple time not so much but I do plan on going back.
don't plan, just do.
i find the longer i think about doing things, the less likely i am to actually do them.

wake up tomorrow and just go to school.
don't give yourself time to think about what might or might not happen when you get there, just get dressed, pick up your bag and go.

  • 12.03.2012 5:25 AM PDT
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Foman is my favorite moderator. <3

Honestly, real talk advice, I think your best bet is to talk to a counselor/your parents and see if you can be homeschooled/take your high school classes online.

You've just eliminated one part of your problem - the social aspect. You'll still have to deal with pressure to succeed, but hey, everyone has that to some degree.

College especially, if you decide to go that route, might be even more foregiving when it comes to online/telecommunicating and/or having classmates make copies of notes for you to study outside of class.

Really, working in the real world will be difficult with your social disorder, but I think you'll have to cross that bridge when you come to it. Right now, you're just trying to get across the sinkhole right before the bridge, the sinkhole of immense life failure and a destiny of sadness and dependence on others.

  • 12.03.2012 5:26 AM PDT
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Posted by: A Good Troll
Honestly, real talk advice, I think your best bet is to talk to a counselor/your parents and see if you can be homeschooled/take your high school classes online.

You've just eliminated one part of your problem - the social aspect. You'll still have to deal with pressure to succeed, but hey, everyone has that to some degree.

College especially, if you decide to go that route, might be even more foregiving when it comes to online/telecommunicating and/or having classmates make copies of notes for you to study outside of class.

Really, working in the real world will be difficult with your social disorder, but I think you'll have to cross that bridge when you come to it. Right now, you're just trying to get across the sinkhole right before the bridge, the sinkhole of immense life failure and a destiny of sadness and dependence on others.


It's not socializing, it's just being around large groups of people. If I'm able to talk to people it's fine but everyone is younger than me (-blam!- got REALLY bad the other year) so it's weird being around large groups of chatty people of which you have no relation to.

  • 12.03.2012 5:34 AM PDT
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I found myself in a similar situation. It eventually got so bad I dropped out of school after completing year 11 (which I just managed to pass, no thanks to my poor attendance records). I'm now a tradie, and a friend and I have recently launched our own business to great success. I love learning, and believe me, teaching yourself is no where near as easy as you'd think. For starters, the material isn't readily available to the public, and getting it might see you jumping through a few hoops. Then there's the matter of interpreting it... there's nothing like a well educated person explaining it to you. Something you don't get when you self-teach. Anyway, the best thing to do, from my experience, is to force yourself into situation's that'll make you sweat; keep doing it and you'll find the anxiety no longer exists to the extent it once did. It's hard, I know, but it's the only way I've found that allowed me any progress with my own people anxiety :<

[Edited on 12.03.2012 5:53 AM PST]

  • 12.03.2012 5:47 AM PDT

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