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This topic has moved here: Subject: Well, I'm having a crap day.
  • Subject: Well, I'm having a crap day.
Subject: Well, I'm having a crap day.
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The Official Crap List

This is a list of the different variations of dumps you can achieve. Will add more if you guys can come up with better suggestions!

The Ghost.
>The kind where you feel it come out, see it on the toilet paper, but there's nothing in the bowl.

The Clean One
> The kind where you feel it come out, see it in the bowl, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

The Wet
>You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels un-wiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with skidmarks.

The Second Wave
> This -blam!- happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to go again.

The Brain Hemorrhage through your Nose
>Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead." You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

The Lincoln Log
>The kind that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush.

The Notorious Drinker
> The kind of crap you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

The Almost
>The kind where you want to go, but even after straining your guts out, all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

Mr Wet Cheeks
> Also known as the "Power Dump." The kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

The Liquid
>The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, burns your tender poop-chute.

The Mexican Crap
>A class all its own.

The Crowd Pleaser
> A crap that is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

The Mood Enhancer
> Occurring after a lengthy period of constipation, this crap allows you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
>This occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

The Guinness Book of Records Crap
>A -blam!- so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

The Aftershock
>This has an odor so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.

The Groaner
>A crap so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Floater
> Characterized by its floatability, this -blam!- has been known to resurface after many flushings.

The Ranger
>A -blam!- that refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a piece of toilet paper.

The Phantom
>Appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

The Pebble Dasher

>An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't -blam!-.

The Power Dump
>The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your pants down and you're done.

The Porridge Dump
>The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: (a) flush and keep going, or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.


What's your favourite?


[Edited on 12.06.2012 3:33 PM PST]

  • 12.06.2012 3:30 PM PDT
Subject: Well, I'm having crap day. (WITH OFFICIAL LIST)

Per Audacia Ad Astra

Posted by: Topman
What's your favourite?
The type you didn't include.

  • 12.06.2012 3:31 PM PDT

Major props to my hommie Sheeef. He made Recon possible for me. Long time recovering emails and passwords. And it was his. lol.

Your title needs fixing.

  • 12.06.2012 3:31 PM PDT
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Bristol Scale.

  • 12.06.2012 3:32 PM PDT

inb4lock...

  • 12.06.2012 3:32 PM PDT
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Steam - slamt4stic
Live - SLAMt4stic

Copy / pasted.

  • 12.06.2012 3:33 PM PDT


Posted by: General Ryan
inb4lock...


No -blam!-, Sherlock.

  • 12.06.2012 3:34 PM PDT

I like shorts. They're comfy and easy to wear.

Posted by: Empty Carecup
No -blam!-, Sherlock.

You must not have read the OP.

  • 12.06.2012 3:35 PM PDT


Posted by: SonOfTheShire
Posted by: Empty Carecup
No -blam!-, Sherlock.

You must not have read the OP.


I did, hence the pun.

  • 12.06.2012 3:35 PM PDT