- LoftyDaDan
- |
- Noble Heroic Member
Apparently I haven't been banned in so long that I've been promoted to Legendary... It feels wrong inside.
__________________
Regina Spektor
Joan took the Furby down from the dusted shelf. She held it at arm's length, examining it with a disgusted fascination. Its plastic, beady eyes stared out of the monstrous little face with an unalive, but audacious zeal. The fuzz on its plastic, bean-like body seemed to burn her very skin. She dropped it gingerly on the bed while keeping her eyes trained on the demented object. Thinking better, she picked it up again and threw it out the window with all the strength she could muster. It soared through the overcast air like a diseased football before bouncing and rolling in the park grass. Its body turned as its momentum decreased and stopped facing the direction from where it came. Even from this distance, those eyes seemed to stare into Joan's soul. She shivered, and closed the window before leaving the room.
3 years later
The park bench seemed to contour to the exact antipode of Joan's ass. She squirmed and considered standing instead of sitting as she watched her son frolic with the other children. Remembering that she had had a blanket with her the day before, she grabbed her backpack and began digging through the many artifacts of parenthood for that soft saving grace. As she searched, she heard her son walk up to her. She looked up.
"Mowma!"
"Yes, Jimmy?"
"MOWma!"
"Yes, Jimmy, please speak your mind."
"OH MOWNMA, AH foun a BAAAVBHEHE!" He held up a bundle covered in a sun-bleached, dirt-matted fur. With his other hand, Jimmy pulled away a sliver of the fur to reveal a pair of manic, staring eyes. Staring right into Joan's soul.
"Where the hell did you find that, Jimmy?"
"AH days FIAN DAT o'er DEERRE, MOWMa!"
Joan worked to conceal her panicked disgust. "Well, hon, you shouldn't just go picking up -blam!- from the -blam!- ground. They're -blam!- dirty. Give me that -blam!-, please," she said, her teeth grinding.
"CAH AH KAPE IT, MOWwwmaA, PRAAASEIS?!"
"Umm, no. Actually, -blam!- no. Give it to me." She took it from him, holding it out as she searched the bag for her lighter.
"MOOWMA, whatsyou GOINNA dOOO?"
"I'm going to light it on fire and then I'm going to bury it. You should know better than to pick -blam!- up like this. You're 15 years old, for Christ's sake."
Furbies. Magical, demented beings that travel through space and time to haunt men and women for their own twisted entertainment. The Twilight Zone. NIghtwiiiiish.
[Edited on 12.07.2012 1:09 AM PST]