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Well, as far as I see it OP, you can attempt one of two strategies:
1)
a. Buy a large black dildo.
b. Put the dildo in aggressor's backpack.
c. During class or some sort of large gathering, politely ask to borrow a pencil/paper.
d. When that person opens his/her backpack, reach in and pull out the dildo.
e. "What the -blam!-, man?!?!'
f. That person's life is over.
2)
a. Acquire AIDS from a dirty hooker.
b. Make-out with the aggressor.
c. That person's life is over.