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Subject: Inbox Gold

The name's Ian, Game Designer at Whisper Game Studios, very off-and-on Bungie.net visitor and avid Bungie fan overall. Message me if you wish.

I decided to go rummaging through my inbox seeing as I had 19 pages full of messages untouched for almost 5 years now. I went through and found some pretty horribly funny messages. I thought I'd share the one I found to be the most eloquent and fairly well-worded.


2/22/08

I really can't beleive that u have nothing better to do with ur time than going round and checkin wot other people are saying and reportin them 2 Bungie. R u really that sad? Wots the matter, did Bungie turn u down 4 a job & u really can't help urself? OMG get a life u freak



Personally, I don't even remember how this message came about. All I remember was reporting the kid for being overtly obnoxious and rude in the Halo 3 forum and I guess I made it apparent to him that I reported him. I guess I was kind of a forum cop back then...

It's probably best to not directly cite the sender because for all we could know, the author of said message could be much more educated by now and could perhaps take offense to this. So go ahead and post your funniest message from your inbox and be sure to omit any names or sensitive references. I'm curious as to what kind of cobwebbed messages are sitting in the back of many of your message boxes.

I'm even more curious about what kind of content the Mods are hiding. That stuff has to be priceless.

[Edited on 12.10.2012 11:45 PM PST]

  • 12.10.2012 11:03 PM PDT

I've got 128 pages that I've been meaning to clear out. Perhaps over this break I can sort through it.

  • 12.10.2012 11:04 PM PDT
  •  | 
  • Senior Mythic Member

"You are the diction, not me!"

The Spectagon

Grizzled Newborn

The only messages that are sent to me are ban messages. :[

  • 12.10.2012 11:13 PM PDT

Who am I?

mah twitter

Sent: 10/19/2009

im saying you are completely retarded for bashing other kids on their stats when yours aren't impressive. you come off as an arrogant and cocky player which honestly isn't a good thing.i have a girlfriend, many best friends,i work out every day,i play 2 sports ,so saying i have no life is also an idiotic statement. i posted on that topic a while ago so if your replying now that just makes you the one caring to much. i honestly just wanted you to read the post and understand what i was saying. quit trying to defend yourself and just forget about the issue and read to gain knowledge not to fight back and cause a useless internet fight.


Apparently we had a some sort of argument. This is one of the first mesages I got there.

  • 12.10.2012 11:13 PM PDT

Owning Noobs Since 05

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

Jim Harkins

I don't think this is what you are looking for but this brought a smile to my face followed by some lulz.
Sent:4/4/2008

You have been sent a warning from ash55. This warning's text is below:

A Bungie.net Forum Moderator has warned you for violating the code of conduct and/or rules of the forum in the thread below. Further violations will likely result in a ban.

[Redacted]

Calling users a "dumbass" is against the rules. I suggest dropping the insults in future if you want to remain on the forums.


[Edited on 12.10.2012 11:17 PM PST]

  • 12.10.2012 11:16 PM PDT

Who am I?

mah twitter

Sent: 11/24/2010
Yeah i got banned for no reason, on my other account.
If i was a ninja this would be a better place.


lmao, "if I was a ninja this would be a better place."

  • 12.10.2012 11:16 PM PDT

Who am I?

mah twitter

And of course a classic question about the titles.
Sent: 3/9/2011

on the forums, mine just says, "member". how did you get yours to say "Noble Heroic Member"
mine sounds like a choad, yours sounds like a big beautiful -blam!-. lol

  • 12.10.2012 11:20 PM PDT

The name's Ian, Game Designer at Whisper Game Studios, very off-and-on Bungie.net visitor and avid Bungie fan overall. Message me if you wish.


Posted by: Verachi


I'm totally gonna have to talk to him about that. So much I wanna say lol...

  • 12.10.2012 11:26 PM PDT

Owning Noobs Since 05

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

Jim Harkins

K, I'm done for right now bai.

I am in debt to you.
It's as if the Internet Gandalf has arrived.


These messages bring back good memory's. I need to do this more often.

  • 12.10.2012 11:26 PM PDT

Owning Noobs Since 05

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

Jim Harkins

I lied...
Posted by: Your MOM is MC

Posted by: Verachi


I'm totally gonna have to talk to him about that. So much I wanna say lol...

I doubt he'll remember that. I found a message of somebody that was very angry with me. He sent me about 7 messages talking about how horrible I am and how I should kill myself, but there was one thing that stood out and I'm going to quote it.


Sent: 6/6/2008
...................
Also you called me a dumb dumb. Do you have down syndrome? honestly..........


I blame Ash for me using dumb dumb.

  • 12.10.2012 11:35 PM PDT

The name's Ian, Game Designer at Whisper Game Studios, very off-and-on Bungie.net visitor and avid Bungie fan overall. Message me if you wish.

I'm hesitant to even post this but I just came across a fantastic message of mine from December of the same year as the earlier message. This is one I actually sent.

I have no clue what sent me into a spiral of rage and I'm hesitant to even post it but I find it fun sometimes to laugh at the past so here it goes:

Sent by: Me on 12/18/08

Maybe you should think before you talk -blam!-, who the hell are you to judge if something is cool tomorrow or not? Really, I think you need to -blam!- learn to shut the -blam!- up! Actually think about what you say before you flame. -blam!- like you on here have not cease to exist since my 2 years on here... Just either get off or learn how to act online. Cause you never know, karma can be a -blam!- ;)



I'm crying of embarrassment.

His response was:


12/20/08

yea....i dont think im gonna listen to a freak like u...

  • 12.10.2012 11:40 PM PDT

Disregard Females, acquire currency.

I was going through my messages and viewing all the ban messages I have received and I realized something. I was annoying as -blam!-. The threads that I made were terrible, my replies were even worse, and I'm not even going to start on my grammar. In a nut shell I was a poopy head.

  • 12.10.2012 11:58 PM PDT

Want Coup? Here it is for Chrome.

[url=http://iggyhopper.dyndns.org/gm/extensions/coup_d_bungie _4.crx[/url]

You were one of the winners. Thus, you are entitled to a free photoshopped screenshot by me. Give me any screenshot you like, tell me how you want it done, and I'll do it for you!

If you want to talk to me via Instant Messaging, my email is [REDACTED]


Does this offer still stand 4 years later?

  • 12.11.2012 12:06 AM PDT

Hi, I am GrandmasterNinja the founder of a group called The Shadow League.If you are looking for a fun but serious group to join, this is your chance. If you do decide to Join, please PM me back to I can alert the Moderators of a new member. Remember, Honor The Code.

Join Here

BIGDADDY786

9/18/12
Sent by Duards:
-_______________-


That's about all the gold I can share lol

  • 12.11.2012 12:16 AM PDT

Hi, I am GrandmasterNinja the founder of a group called The Shadow League.If you are looking for a fun but serious group to join, this is your chance. If you do decide to Join, please PM me back to I can alert the Moderators of a new member. Remember, Honor The Code.

Join Here

BIGDADDY786


Posted by: Make117
Sent: 11/24/2010
Yeah i got banned for no reason, on my other account.
If i was a ninja this would be a better place.


lmao, "if I was a ninja this would be a better place."

It is a better place when you're a ninja!

  • 12.11.2012 12:17 AM PDT

@JosephBiwald
View my Art

Per Audacia Ad Astra

8/20/2012 2:34 PM
I don't blame you for being skeptical, but -blam!- is actually a Bungie Employee. He's -blam!-. You can ask Your Mom all about him.

Happy to help!

I -blam!-'d out the name of the individual in this message for different reasons. This was sent to me from an employee a few months ago for a shirt I designed. I didn't believe that the original recipient was an actual employee, so another employee had to step in to do a little convincing. The Pm is titled SKANK.

  • 12.11.2012 12:36 AM PDT

Whisper Game Studios - shhhh, it's a public secret.
Webcam MVP
Sarsion.net
Bnet PM Policy

[*Please note that anything in my posts is likely to be filled with sarcasm, and should be taken with a pinch of salt. I tend to help people, usually*]


re: re: Shhhh3/19/2009 11:58 PMPosted by: Halcylon
I'm in :)
That's what he said.

  • 12.11.2012 12:56 AM PDT

Intolerance is the highest level of stupidity and inbred thinking.

MI: 5213901 UI: 5244621

Posted by: SonicJohn

re: re: Shhhh3/19/2009 11:58 PMPosted by: Halcylon
I'm in :)
That's what he said.
To which he responded with an "in what?"

And am I really the only person here who feels it necessary to clean my inbox? The most exciting PM I haven't deleted is a list of shirt sizes for different users who ordered PAX t-shirts. >.<

I feel like the next J. Edgar Hoover! :O

[Edited on 12.11.2012 1:09 AM PST]

  • 12.11.2012 1:06 AM PDT

Any of you folks remember this little Gem?

Subject: help me

Kat gets Sniped,
Jorge and Carter Commit Suicide,
and Emile gets stabbed by an elite.
THEY ALL DIE
9 CHAPTERS
CAPTAIN KEYES IS IN IT
AT THE END YOU SEE THE FIRST CUTSCENE TO HALO ONE

HAHAH SPOILED : )

  • 12.11.2012 1:43 AM PDT

Welcome.
You have just entered my mind. Please sign the contract before continuing further into this black hole to acknowledge I am not at fault if any mental/physical damage is caused to you whilst viewing my history. If any damage to yourself is caused, please call your whaambulance for advice.


Subject: Automatic Reply

Shishka
Exalted Mythic Member
Sent: 11/12/2012
Hi. If you haven't figured this out, yet, I'm no longer a Bungie employee and no longer participate on the Bungie.net forums. For Halo bans or matchmaking questions, refer to 343's own forums. For Bungie questions, write the question down, tie it to a rock, and then throw that rock at Urk as hard as you can.


Here's what you get for messaging Shishka now.

  • 12.11.2012 1:52 AM PDT

Half Man.
Half Horse.
Half Machine.
All "Jerk Who's Really Bad at Math."

PS
No, I do not want to join your clan/group.

Posted by: RollinRollin13
And am I really the only person here who feels it necessary to clean my inbox? The most exciting PM I haven't deleted is a list of shirt sizes for different users who ordered PAX t-shirts. >.<
I keep my inbox clean, though I don't get that many messages to begin with. Wishing I had saved some of them now, though; I've gotten several ragetastic messages cursing me for perceived slights, threatening me for voicing my opinion, one demanding to know why I banned them (I'm not even a ninja!), and someone else going psycho on me for allegedly reporting them (I didn't).

I'm saving the good and crazy ones from now on.

[Edited on 12.11.2012 4:28 AM PST]

  • 12.11.2012 4:27 AM PDT

Man of God. Fan of Bungie. Eater of many Jr. Bacon cheeseburgers.

That's funny. Save it for when the time is right.

  • 12.11.2012 4:30 AM PDT

Subject: hey.. how's it going?

AmandaPhillipsOb
Absent Member
Sent: 1/11/2010
howdy!

I was checkin' round for people near me, and i unearthed your profile. You give me the impression that you're a quite interesting person, but im somewhat new at this sorta thing, and don't know my way around here. Can't they have some sort of chat here?? Well, i hate sending messages 2 ppl, and potentially never receiving anything back! Anyways, if u wanna chattin' with me, you could check me over @ [link removed] , my name over there is jennajaimes.

So, ya, hope to meet up with you there. I'm always looking to meet more people.
Alba Doerksen


one of 5 or 6 of these that i have, this was my first message ever.

Edit: heres another gem:


Subject: Hey

ST0NE C0LD
Absent Member
Sent: 5/17/2010
Hey, I saw you around the forums and saw one of your posts.
I wanted to ask you if you really believed that BS you put down.
Because if you do, you can give me BJs all night long. Why?
It's simply due to the fact that your words made me so erect...
I could almost taste the mouth they came from, and I want that
salty, sweet saliva on my dimples and grits.


comedy g0ld

[Edited on 12.11.2012 5:12 AM PST]

  • 12.11.2012 5:11 AM PDT

Subject: re: Bungie Weekly Update: 05/29/09
Sent: 05/29/2009

do you need help geting recon I can get it. Just giv me a reply


I have no idea what this message was about. I checked my post in the discussion thread of that weekly update and I didn't even mention Recon. I must have asked him what he was talking about though because I got another reply afterwards.

Subject: re: re: re: Bungie Weekly Update: 05/29/09
Sent: 05/30/2009

If your a good plaer make a amazing video to bungie like luky kills and kill streks but I got it by geting a killing frenze with no-scops with a sniper. If you cant do that just practis and your get bater and you could get it. but if you wont to chet I can tell you. just reply.


I must not have "wont to chet" because I have no more responses after that.

[Edited on 12.11.2012 5:31 AM PST]

  • 12.11.2012 5:31 AM PDT
  •  | 
  • Exalted Legendary Member
  • gamertag: Kivell
  • user homepage:

Posted by: Achronos
Hey, guys, what's going on in this thread?
Someone tell Kivell that he is a lie.


Get WorkPlaced!

My most recent one, kids these days.



Posted by: You seem to have some knowledge on Politics, I'm stuck on my Gov't homework and Google isn't helping. Could you maybe help me a little?

  • 12.11.2012 5:43 AM PDT

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