From a recently permabanned user:
Greetings, Bob.
I wish to inform you that I recently received a ban message from you and that I have read it in full. I do find your lack of humor disturbing; however, I also wish to inform you that I appreciate your effort in ensuring that my ban is lifted before the end of the world so that I may rejoin this community while we are all still alive.
I would also like to point out that I do not recall seeing your posts before. To that end, I am presuming that you are new to the team, and I would like to welcome you to the Bungie.net Forum Ninja Team. I am quite sure that you will enjoy your stay here and will continue to deal out justice to those who do not follow the rules of Bungie.net. I promise that you will not regret it, and I do suggest you befriend [REDACTED] (nicknamed [REDACTED]) and [REDACTED], as both of these moderators are the type who are well known and therefore good to be on friendly terms with and have on your side.
I would also like to advise you that on the Flood, there are many people who create threads which blatantly break the rules, and are oftentimes quite annoying. To that end I would highly recommend that you spend the majority of your moderating time on the Flood. However, it would also be wise to check the Reach forum from time to time, as flame wars between Reach fanboys and players who prefer the originals tend to break out fairly often.
I would also like to warn you about [REDACTED], as he can be pretty harsh and therefore you do want to stay on his good side if you wish to retain your position as a moderator. Also, if you ever need a friendly helping hand, go to [REDACTED], he is very nice. He also [DOES STUFF]. He is quite loved by the Flood, even though [REDACTED] is kind of hated, and [REDACTED] is seen as a sort of manaical dictator, with [REDACTED] as his henchman of sorts. Also watch for the Septagon logo by forum threads, it indicates that a Bungie employee has posted in that thread so it might be worth a read and is sure to become a hot topic very very quickly!
I very sincerely hope that you take all of my advice to heart and that your new position on the forum staff team goes very well. I would again like to thank you for ensuring that my ban expires before the end of the world. And I would also like to remind you that [REDACTED] is a pretty awesome guy.
Lastly, I would just like to close with a warning: The end is very near, but it's not a bad thing. The zionists who try to control everything are losing power, and the end is not only the end, but also a new beginning. When that time comes we will all be able to enjoy Halo in peace together.
Thank you for your contributions to Bungie.net.
With love,
[REDACTED]