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  • Subject: A Part of the City Part 1
Subject: A Part of the City Part 1
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A Part of the City
Part 1

It was another regular day with Daniel Harrison. His work in the Tower was almost finished, just a few more bolts screwed in and he could punch out for the day. In this City a person work was never finished, there was always another wing to build or another floor to build. The City was always expanding. He imagined the entire world consumed by the City. He put that thought out of his mind, it wasn't pleasant. He wished things wouldn't change. He liked the monotonousness of his job. He would walk back to his apartment, cook a small meal for one, maybe read the news, and then he would sleep. The next day would be the same. Sometimes the weekends were interesting; a new interactive story to watch possibly. He could barely afford those, but he was content with the way his life was going.

Daniel drove the final bolts into the steel I-beam and set down his drill. He would come back tomorrow so he decided to leave everything out the way it was. No one would come up here. He looked out over the City. He was in the tallest building in the City. Daniel could see all the way to the edge of the City from where he was; on the top floor of the Tower. He walked over to the elevator. The floor he was on was labeled six-oh-seven. He stepped into the elevator and punched in C-floor. That would take him to the level that his apartment was on. He wondered which floor the Boss was on, no one except his top advisers and bodyguards knew that.

The Boss had bought the City back before Daniel was even born. The Boss did not abide by the country's laws, the Boss made his own set of laws. One such law, as ridiculous as it seemed, was that no building could be built over one hundred stories tall. Daniel thought that law was so that everyone would always look up to the Boss' monstrosity that overshadowed the entire City. But Daniel was a small fry in a city this large. The Boss probably didn't even know who he was. He was glad, because he didn't want anything to change.

When Daniel got to C-floor he walked over to the Metro and got to his apartment in not five minutes time. He opened the front door and threw his key cards on the foyer table. He walked to his food storage and pulled out a premade meal. As the food cooker heated his food he stared out the window. His apartment building was one of the taller buildings in his district, with his apartment on one of the top floors. He could see the Tower from here.

Daniel's contacter chimed. He was about to grab it when his front door blew open. A man with a wide brimmed hat and dark glasses walked through the door. "What do you want?" Daniel huddled in a corner moving away from the man. The man slowly and emphatically walked towards Daniel. Daniel was starting to feel a fear that he had never experienced before.

"You are a very important man, Daniel," the man spoke in a low tone, as if he wanted to keep a low profile despite the explosion mere seconds before.

"Who are you? How do you know my name?" Daniel was no longer concerned for his life as much as he was confused about why the man was standing in front of him at all. "I'm really not that important, I'm a construction worker.

"The Boss has kept his eye on you. He wants you to do something for him." The suspicious man smiled. "We knew you wouldn't let us in unless we forced ourselves."

Daniel was angry now, "Why didn't the Boss just send me a message? Why does he have to break down my doors and terrorize me? Is this the kind of-"

"Shut up," the man stepped forward with one motion and grabbed Daniel by the neck and lifted him off his feet, the man was easily six inches taller and much stronger. Daniel resisted. "Your instructions are on your contacter. You will do as we tell you. You will be watched." The man dropped Daniel, turned around, and walked out the front door nonchalantly.

Daniel rubbed his neck, watching as the man left. He walked towards his contacter and listened to the messages. He heard the voice of the previous intruder. "There is a man named Jack that will be at the GlassHouse in one hour. He will be seeking a data drive. The data drive you will give to him is resting on your foyer table. You will give it to him and receive the trade money. You will return to your apartment and wait. We are watching you, Daniel. Do not fail us." The final words were terrifyingly menacing.

Daniel found the data drive. He wondered if they would know if he checked the contents of it. He opted against it. He wanted to be out of this as soon as possible. He grabbed his coat and the data drive and walked out the space where a door was supposed to be. Why did they need him for this? Couldn't they have some faceless guard do this for them? As he got into the Metro he realized that he had completely forgotten about his food in the food cooker.




Kill me with fire for this piece of crap. I wrote this while listening to Call Me Maybe.
Peace

  • 12.12.2012 9:17 PM PDT

The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown

You really like mentioning this city...

  • 12.12.2012 9:19 PM PDT

Key

FYI: a better substitute for monotonousness is monotony, OP.

©

  • 12.12.2012 9:20 PM PDT

Gamertag: AC Mobius

RIP Derek Farley

This reminded me of the game Resonance of Fate.

  • 12.12.2012 9:20 PM PDT
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Posted by: OoCarpetoO
You really like mentioning this city...


That's the name of the city; the City.

[Edited on 12.13.2012 12:32 PM PST]

  • 12.12.2012 9:22 PM PDT
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Posted by: CrazzySnipe55
FYI: a better substitute for monotonousness is monotony, OP.

©


thanks, I got that fixed.

  • 12.13.2012 12:33 PM PDT

Plekpedia - The most epic site in the history of ever.

I'm a writer myself! My constructive criticism is this:

It is a bit cliche/cheesy. But your writing is not bad, especially for something you say you just came up with while listening to a song.

With some work and planning, this could be fine! :D

  • 12.13.2012 12:38 PM PDT
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Posted by: Pokezilla Linked
I'm a writer myself! My constructive criticism is this:

It is a bit cliche/cheesy. But your writing is not bad, especially for something you say you just came up with while listening to a song.

With some work and planning, this could be fine! :D


how is it cliche/cheesy?

  • 12.13.2012 12:42 PM PDT
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Writer's Corner
6/15/2011 11:39 PM: bobcast [2597260] issued a 3 day ban expiring on 6/18/2011 11:39 PM.
Reason: A Bungie.net Forum Moderator has banned you for violating the code of conduct and/or rules of the forum in the thread below
http://www.bungie.net/Forums/posts.aspx?postID=61704535
Inappropriate. Went a little to far with the butt hole tearing.

Well, it looks like you have more of an actual story now, so I applaud you for that. There's a pretty decent sense of direction.

You need to be more careful with your sentence structure. The best way to review your punctuation is to read sentences aloud, making sure to account for the breaks.

  • 12.13.2012 12:48 PM PDT
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Posted by: petitminou
Well, it looks like you have more of an actual story now, so I applaud you for that. There's a pretty decent sense of direction.

You need to be more careful with your sentence structure. The best way to review your punctuation is to read sentences aloud, making sure to account for the breaks.


Hey thanks, are you talking about variety? or mistakes?

  • 12.13.2012 1:03 PM PDT